


Premonition

by Kahnah



Series: Modern Demon AU [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Blood, Demon AU, Female Jack, Gen, Guns, Sequel, Star-crossed multiverse, Violence, michael centric, some 'horror' elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-07-20 10:47:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 47,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19990885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahnah/pseuds/Kahnah
Summary: Jeremy was taken by Pandora and they don't take kindly to traitors. With him breaking, the noose around the team pulls tighter and only Michael knows about the danger as he watches from his dream.Thankfully he is finally able to wake from his long, long sleep.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So hey guys! The sequel for the Pandora Project some of you been waiting for is finally here!
> 
> This time it's Michael-centric and will have some spoilers for Spirit of Pandora. You should be fine if you haven's read Spirit of Pandora, I hope I explained all of it.
> 
> I hope you guys will enjoy!
> 
> (I've read Lisey's Story by Stephen King before this and IT SHOWS)

Premonition

Chapter 1

Michael woke in stages. At first, he felt his own self in his chest, nestling there. Like coming home, like finally being able to kick back after a long, long journey. His soul curled around itself, warming his body slowly and didn’t even want to go further.

His chest wasn’t big enough though and at some point he had to fill out his body even if he didn’t want to. Settling back into it also meant that he had to move, that the weight of this world would come crashing back from above and he wasn't sure if he was ready for that. Living again,  _being_ again was scary and he was oh so tired.

On the other hand, there was a rush somewhere deep within. He knew he had to hurry, that he didn’t have much time until bad things happened, but he felt heavy and exhausted, like thick tar that only slowly filled his body.

His soul flowed into his head and that was the worst. It made him  _think, _ but there was too much to think about, to categorize because he had seen so many things, so many familiar strangers in his dreams and there had been one close by, right?

Yeah, there had been the one whose touch made him feel small, like getting swallowed up by darkness. The same feeling he got when he looked up into the starry sky on lonely nights. Like nothing he could ever do mattered in the grand scheme of things as if he was nothing more than a spark of light in this darkness. Small and insignificant.

Pollux.

_ I'll grant you one more wish for that. _

Pollux who was like him and nothing at all.

_ Call me. _

Pollux who looked down at dead stars and graveyard of empires.

_ I'll be there. _

Pollux who had walked beside him but too far out of reach. Out there in the worlds behind this world, in the dreams he ended up seeing. The dreams that had been his reality until now.

Michael opened his eyes. There was some light. Someone had left a light on in this room and he knew who. There had been someone here.

"Pollux," his lips formed the name, but there was no voice yet. He frowned because that wasn’t right. There had been someone else here just a few minutes before, sitting by his bed. He had seen it because that was one thing he could do. During this long, long dream he had been able to see and scream and beg for someone to notice him but nobody had been able to. He had stood next to them and still, he couldn't grasp them, couldn’t touch. As if he’d just been a fly on the wall.

Had Jeremy been sitting here?

No, but there was something about Jeremy. Something urgent and he just had to get his thoughts in order but that was hard. It was hard and he was so, so exhausted.

Who had been next to his bed?

Pollux? Yeah, Pollux had been there but that wasn't the one he was thinking about. Pollux wasn't his or maybe he was but but bu-

Mahr.

The name made a shiver work down his spine and Michael gasped. He stared up to the ceiling, expecting a shadow there, but there was nothing. That didn’t mean much because Mahr was darkness and there were dark corners in this room. He couldn’t turn his head to check them out; he couldn’t fucking move because his soul still hadn't settled, but he had to.

He had to because he feared Mahr was somewhere out there, watching out of their thousand eyes and he had seen the horror they could cause. They were eating through Pollux' soul, leaving dark scars behind and they had been there, on his shoulder. An invisible burden to carry around but Michael had been able to feel them.

Now they were in this room, standing right behind the head of his bed and he couldn't turn to see them. He wanted to bring his arms up, to defend himself in any way but he couldn’t. His arms were at his side, cold and useless and his fingers didn’t even grasp the blanket. He made little punched out groans in his effort to get his body to move, knew that once he'd been touched by Mahr his soul would rot just like Pollux's, and he couldn't have that. There was still something he had to do, he had returned for for f-

Michael shot up in his bed, fast enough that he nearly landed on the floor. He managed to catch himself and spun around, expecting the shadow and of course there were some, where there's light there were shadows but it was not... it was not Mahr.

He wasn’t even sure how he could tell and he let his eyes travel across the room to make sure but yeah, Pollux was gone, therefor Mahr as well.

"Fuck," he whispered and it actually came out as a sound even if he could barely hear it. His heart was beating too fast for that, his body too unused for any sign of life to properly react.

Leaned against the wall he took some deep breaths to calm down but his eyes never left the dark corners. Once his heart wasn’t pounding anymore he noticed the chair by his bed.

Jack.

Jack had been sitting right there. His mind was still such a mess but he was at least sure of that now.

That wasn't long ago, she had to still be around. It was night, so she was probably getting ready for bed and even if not, someone else had to be here.

So he forced his legs to swing in front of his bed and tried to stand. it was hard, harder than he had expected, but on the other hand, he wasn’t sure how long he had been sleeping in this bed. He should probably be happy to move at all.

Pushing himself up he stood but each step felt like he was drunk. There were pins and needles in his legs and his feet felt completely numb, but something urgent was bugging him. He wanted to figure out what it was but one after another. First he had to figure out how to walk again, first he had to find someone else because he needed to know that they were all still here. He didn’t want to be alone right now, not with shadows lurking around.

Not with Pollux' marks still fresh on his mind.

So he dragged himself through his room, a hand reaching for the shelf and then the wall and finally the door to keep him up. it was exhausting and he could feel the sweat cold between his shoulder blades.

By the time he pulled the door open his breath was going hard and he felt dizzy. he was thirsty, by God, he was. A cold glass of water sounded like a treasure and he could turn around to head into his bathroom instead. He would drink straight from the tap and surely feel better but the way was so far.

So he leaned against the door frame and tried to catch his breath.

Jack had been here not too long ago but now the hallway laid mostly in shadows. it was eerie after everything, and he looked down to where Jack's room was, but everything was pitch black. After what had happened, after all those demons he had faced until now, he knew that he wouldn’t dare to walk down there. Not when he knew what was lurking in the shadows and watched out of every eye.

_ Are you afraid of the dark? _

The words made him grow cold and he leaned his head against the frame.

"Fuck," Michael whispered and wanted to close his eyes but didn’t dare. No, he had to see. He had to stay awake.

He felt the jingle more than he heard it but the presence was familiar and comforting. Triella. She wasn’t really speaking to him but she was there and he knew what she was trying to say. That he was safe, that nothing would get through her shields. Not even Mahr.

It gave him the strength to push himself off the door frame and leave his room. There was light coming from downstairs, he could see it creep up the stairs and he turned towards it.

Even though Triella was with him, he didn’t quite dare to head into the darkness and light also meant that someone was downstairs. Probably Jack, right? Maybe she went to check something out, to get another, wonderful glass of water before bed.

Actually, he didn’t even know if she was heading to bed. He didn't know how late or what day it was. It could be early morning for all he knew because the binds in his room had been closed but it felt late. It felt late because he was so tired.

So Michael dragged himself down the hallway, a hand against the wall to steady himself and never before had the way been so long. It dragged on forever and his breath was going heavy again. Surely someone had to notice if they were in their rooms; he felt like he was making a lot of noise, but nobody came looking for him.

The wall dipped away and he nearly fell to his knees. it was a door, Geoff's door, and Michael wanted to knock but then hesitated. If it was the middle of the night then Geoff wouldn't open up; no, Geoff was too much of a heavy sleeper. Also, he could hear movements now, coming from below. He just had to get there.

When he finally arrived at the stairs, he quickly reached for the railings. He hadn't thought about actually walking down there and his knees felt too weak to pull through with that. No, he would surely slip and crack his head open or something. How funny would that be after everything?

But someone was in the kitchen and fuck if he had to slide down on his ass to reach them he would fucking do that. Granted he had enough coordination to even sit down and right now that sounded like way too much work.

Something crashed downstairs, and Michael looked up so quickly from the steps that he began to sway. Beneath him and right outside the now open kitchen door stood Pollux and the mug he carried was now broken into three big pieces.

Just like before. Just like when Michael had stood in that kitchen and Pollux had just appeared like that. Only that he had let the mug fall and now there was milk soaking through Pollux' fluffy socks. Still, the similarities let a wave of dizziness crash over Michael and fuck, alright. He was going to go down, he was going to crack his fucking skull open on the stairs.

"Michael!"

His knees buckled and he held onto the railing with all his strength, still he slipped halfway down the stairs. That was still better than falling head first into this dangerous nothingness but he still didn’t dare to let go. His shaking hands were clawing at the wood and he can't see, there is nothing besides gray static and water in his ears. Far away noises coming from another world and he had been there. He had stood there and watched over empty landscapes, over destroyed empires and blood-soaked streets.

In each and every world he could see Pollux' footsteps to follow and even now- even...

Someone was pounding up the stairs and then there were hands on him, trying to turn him around. It wasn’t quite working because he was still holding on but they're prying his hands open and he lets go. He lets go because he was dizzy and he was going to pass out any moment now, right? It felt like it.

"Ryan!" Someone called. It sounds loud in the silence of the house. Didn’t sound like Pollux. "Ryan, quick!"

No, this is Gavin. Gavin's hands under his arms, trying to drag him upstairs, but he was too heavy and slipped further down instead.

Then there are more noises but they didn’t make any sense in his exhausted mind. He knows that he gets picked up though and someone is squeezing his hand. Blinking his eyes open he found Gavin by his side, white as a sheet, and that's probably fair. He must have scared the living shit out of him but it wasn’t like Michael felt much better.

"Sorry boi," he wanted to say, but what comes out is, "Thirsty."

"I'll get you something, just one moment!" And with that Gavin was gone and Michael actually took a moment to look around. Groggily, he turned his head until he found Ryan above him. The other just raised an eyebrow at him, clearly he had been asleep before by the state of his hair, but Michael only felt a bit bad about that.

"You surely have a way for dramatic entries," Ryan told him, and Michael just snorted.

"That's what I'm all about." Or something like that. It kinda comes out in a slur of words as if he was drunk. Or like he'd been asleep for a long, long time.

When Michael cleared again, he was sitting on the couch and Gavin was pressing a glass of water into his hand. it was gloriously cold and Michael drank it quick enough that he feared he would get a bellyache but there was nothing that could stop him. Not even the both of them who were now staring at him as if he was a ghost and how funny was that? When he was running around here like a ghost nobody fucking saw him but here they were now.

"More?" Gavin asked as he took the empty glass from him but Michael shook his head. He would love to drink more but then he would have to piss and he wasn’t sure if he would get there on his own and he kinda didn’t want the others help.

There's a movement at the door and he was the last to notice, probably because his head was starting to spin again. God, he was tired.

It was Jack who stood there, woken up by their ruckus, and she also just stared at him. Michael couldn’t help but smile. Seeing her made his throat tight because of how often she had sat by his bed, talking to him. And how he had screamed back, hoping she would hear him today, tomorrow, never.

"Hey, babe," he said now, and she heard that.

"Fuck you, Michael."

"Yeah, that's fair."

He slipped sideways and Ryan caught him with a steady hand on his arm. It didn’t even hurt, Ryan was careful as always and Michael still groaned. it was more from shock than anything but Ryan quickly lets go and Michael hits the couch. it was wonderful soft and warm and he was so fucking tired.

"Michael!"

Someone - Jack - was shaking him and he forced his eyes to open again.

"Don't you dare fall asleep again!"

He wouldn’t be able to avoid that. His body wasn’t tired but his mind? Oh, his mind and his soul were exhausted beyond belief. He had been running around nonstop, worrying and planning and traveling. There was no way he could stay awake much longer.

Still, Jack had sat by his bed every night and she deserved as much, so he grasped her hand with all his strength.

"Not like before," he assured her, could barely see her face with how much his world was turning. The water had been good but far from enough and his very being calls for some rest. "I'll be here. I'll stay here and wake up."

"Can you promise that?"

Not really, he couldn't even remember how he had slipped away the last time. For all he knew he had just laid down one evening and was swept away. Not today though, he didn't think so, because he had come back for a reason. He had come back because there were things to do and people to protect and they had to act quickly.

After he woke up though, after he'd been sleeping and sorting his thoughts because otherwise he would tell it all wrong and made mistakes. They couldn't make any, he didn't think so.

Instead of telling her all that he just squeezed Jack's hand and tried himself on a smile. "I promise."

His sleep was so deep and quiet that he barely remembered it. One minute he was sitting on the couch in the dead of night, the next he woke up to daylight falling through the windows and curtains. It had to still be early and he would gladly sleep some more, but his stomach was growling. Also he really needed to pee now.

To his surprise he was the only one awake at this time. Ryan and Gavin were sharing the armchair, wrapped around each other and dead to the world. Ryan's hands are open on Gavin's back, not holding on even in his sleep, while Gavin had his face tucked against Ryan’s neck.

Jack was kneeling on the ground next to Michael, head resting on her crossed arms that she had put on the couch. Someone had put a blanket over her shoulders but it had slipped off halfway.

"Stupid woman," Michael mumbled and touched her gloves. She had been staying close to him in case Triella was going to put another shield around him, so that she would be locked away as well. So that she could shake him awake if needed.

Now Jack was stirring, not a good sleeper at the best of times and as she is blinking up at him, something horribly relieved flashed over her face. It made Michael's chest hurt.

"Jack..." he began but didn’t even have an idea how to word it. How he had watched her sitting by his side each evening, how right now she had stayed close even though it could've locked her into his shield as well. He wasn’t sure what would've happened if he would’ve trapped her inside his shield but it couldn’t be good. No, the thought alone made him shiver.

Thankfully Jack didn’t expect him to say something. No, she took that upon herself and as always she knew exactly the right words.

"Breakfast?"

Michael showered while Jack was in the kitchen, and the water helped. The soothing rhythm against his head made him think, made him check if everything was in order and he was pretty sure he got it now. There were still hundreds of worlds in his head but they had found their places and settled there. That helped him paint a clearer picture of what happened now that they weren’t all blurred together, familiar faces and familiar names and stranger's souls. Things that had scared him and things that had touched his heart.

Sure, that all was important in the grand scheme of things, but not to him, not really. He wanted to worry about this world because that was already enough. For that he had to get things straight first and he turned off the water and got out of the shower.

Someone had cleaned up the spilled milk in front of the kitchen and Jack was already waiting for him, a mug of coffee in her hand. There's a second one waiting for him, along with a huge plate of eggs and bacon. It smelled delicious and Michael felt his stomach grumble as he sat down.

"How long was I out?" he asked instead of a thanks, because they both knew that's more important right now.

"Over four months, Michael."

Jesus Christ. Michael felt himself pale and held on tighter to the fork. Four fucking months. Of course he knew he'd been asleep for a while and to some degree it felt longer when he was traveling around, but that was different, right? Pollux had said that time flows differently between the worlds.

Fuck, four months though!

It kinda fucked with his appetite, but not enough and he dug right in. He could think and worry while eating and he was starved.

"Best thing I've eaten in all that time," he told Jack, but she didn’t smile, just watched him, and that was a bit unnerving. She was pissed, he knew that. Probably because he didn’t take it too seriously but he didn’t know how. Joking about it made it easier because deep down he was scared. Deep down he knew that this wasn't the last time he would just fall asleep and not wake up again. Locked out of his own body and barely more than a soul. At least not until he figured out how to prevent it.

Pollux had granted him one more wish he could use in case this happened again, but he didn’t think he will use the wish for that. No, there were other matters they had to take care off first.

"Where were you during that time, Michael? You weren't in your room. At least it didn't feel like it."

He poked around his eggs and wondered what he should tell her. He didn’t want to lie but it was kinda hard to explain. At least Jack had always believed him before.

"Was it Pollux?" she asked next, and he shook his head.

"Not at all. He actually helped me."

"Are you sure about that?"

That made him hesitate and for a moment that was a possibility in his mind. That Pollux had pulled him away because nobody else could see him, right? That's what Pollux had told him before, and he had also been the only one able to bring Michael back.

But then he remembered how surprised Pollux had been when Michael had finally found him, how Pollux hadn't react to his calls during all that time.

"I think I am," Michael settled on. "I don't think Pollux knew what was happening to me until I stepped in front of him. I kinda scared him pretty badly when I showed up." Back in that strange world where plants were taking over. Where there was nothing left but a green hell.

"I went to bed one day and couldn't get back in my body," Michael said. "I was dreaming, was visiting another world. I was looking too deep through the looking glass and... and forgot what it was like to settle in a body? Something like that."

"That doesn't make any sense."

He shook his head. "Probably not, but it's what happened. I don't know what to tell you."

Jack was still watching him with her steady gaze, giving him the chance to explain what he couldn't. He had no idea what was going on or why. It was just happening.

"I was around," he told her as if that would help things. "I could see you guys but you couldn't see me."

"Like a ghost of sorts?"

He thought about that for a moment before he nodded. That wasn't quite it but close enough.

"Where's Geoff?" he asked because that's safer than focusing on the matter at hand.

"At Pandora's. We're getting two new members by the end of the month and he was meeting them."

"Well that makes everything more complicated." Michael finished the plate and pushed it away from him. Now that he felt human again it was time to face the real problems.

"Pandora has Jeremy," he said nearly absentmindedly as he tried to get everything in order. They had to move but they also had to do it smart.

“What do you mean?”

“I saw how they took him while I was asleep. Pandora knows that something is up.”

“I talked to Jeremy not too long ago. Everything seemed fine.”

“When was that?”

Jack hesitated, thinking about it before she shook her head. “Around a month ago, I guess? Not much longer but I’d have to check on the date to make sure.”

A month? That was good. That was way better then what Michael had expected. It had felt so much longer while he’d searched for Pollux but considering that Pandora hadn’t taken a second look at this team, Jeremy apparently hadn’t told them exactly what had happened.

It was only a matter of time before Pandora would come after them though. It wasn’t like Michael doubted Jeremy but he wasn’t naive enough to believe that Pandora couldn’t make him talk.

“Did you have any contact with Ray since then?”

“I- no. You know we try to keep it to a minimum,” she said. “The last time… I believe Geoff talked to him. Told him that you were asleep but that was before I saw Jeremy. Why?”

“Because Jeremy knows about Ray.” Michael searched for his phone but couldn’t find it. Probably still in his room and most likely dead.

Jack noticed and handed him her own.

“Jeremy never found out where Ray is hiding. Even we don’t know that.”

“We don’t know what Jeremy found out exactly. I’m not saying that Jeremy knows an exact location but…” But Jeremy knew how fast Ray had showed up at this house to heal him. Jeremy knew that Ray had walked away from here with a simple bag. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Ray was close by and Pandora wanted him. Pandora would comb through this area again and this time Ray wouldn't get as lucky. Not without a warning first.

So Michael dialed his number and pushed Jack's phone against his ear. It took a moment to connect but then it went straight to voicemail and a bit frustrated Michael hung up.

"It's too early for Ray," Jack told him when she took her phone again and sure, that was true but Michael wouldn’t take the chance.

"I'll go and check him out," he said and got up. Jack stared at him, startled and then laughed a bit awkwardly.

"What do you mean? Are you trying to reach him in your sleep?"

"No, don't worry." he was already out of the kitchen by the time he heard Jack’s chair move but he didn’t dare to hesitate. Hesitating meant to think and thinking would lead to him doubting his own decisions. Either he trusted Pollux or he didn’t and by now Pollux had kept his promise and returned him to his body. So he had surely fulfilled Michael’s other wish.

“Michael!”

He pulled the door open and everything in him wanted to freeze in that moment. The weight of the cuff around his ankle was all too prominent, just like the worry in Jack’s voice. It had to wake up Ryan and Gavin because he could hear noises coming from the living room but-

_ "Is this what's keeping you locked inside of here?" _ Pollux’s voice inside his head, his tainted soul reaching out to touch the cuff.

_ "Don't worry about those things anymore. Neither of you." _

Michael stepped through the door and expected pain to explode in his ankle, simply because that’s what he always expected when he did this. It was scary, this first step, and he had his hands balled so tightly that his nails left crescent moon marks in his palm.

Nothing happened just like Pollux had assured him, and he nearly stumbled down the three steps because he kinda hadn’t expected to get this far, but then he stood. Outside.

And Pandora was none the wiser.

There was wind, was the first thing he noticed. A wonderful breeze against his skin and in his hair. The early sunshine on his skin, not filtered by glass or curtains while he was trapped inside like a rabid dog.

It felt wonderful and free and sweet and Michael lifted his arms and closed his eyes. He needed to feel right now, nothing more and a laugh bubbled up in his throat. It had been so long since he had been free that he was nearly scared by it, unsure as to what to do. On the other hand this freedom was nothing against him Dreamwalking, but he didn’t want to think about it. Thinking about it just confused and scared him, and right now he just wanted to stand here.

“My God,” someone whispered behind him, and this time Michael had to laugh.

Turning around he found Ryan and Gavin standing a bit away from the door, hair still messy from sleep but looking way too awake for this time of day. They couldn’t follow him, at least they believed so and he wanted to tell then just to step through, to follow him because they were finally free. Jack was already with him, hurrying down the three steps and Michael wanted to laugh again, wanted to celebrate this moment with her.

Instead she punched him in the face. Hard. It made his head snapped around and he stumbled back, not prepared for that. At least it woke him a bit from the rush in his head and he quickly reached up to cover his cheek.

“What the fuck, Jack!”

"What the fuck, Michael!" She gave right back only to wince. Her face was pulled tight in pain and she kept a tight grip around her hand and fuck, that probably hurt her way more than him.

"Shit, lemme-" He reached for her hand but she snatched his, twisting it so hard that he flinched.

"Four months!" she spat. "Four  _fucking_ months of you not waking up! Of us not knowing if you were dying in there or if you’re already gone, only leaving behind an empty shell! And I sat by your bed every damn night! We all did and  _ nothing! _ Absolutely nothing for all this time!"

Michael heart sank and he stopped struggling, didn't dare to look any of them in the eyes.

"Then you wake up and scare the shit out of everyone and you don't even think about explaining shit! No, you just go on as if you just took a nap and don't sit down and think that maybe we have a fucking right to know what the fuck is going on! You just spew senseless shit and then run out here! Fuck, I thought your cuff would explode! I thought you would fucking die because Ray isn't here. Ray isn't fucking here to heal you and you know we can't reach him, you just tried it yourself! Do you have any idea what you're doing!"

No, he didn't. Not really.

"We have to hurry," he said as if that would help him. Probably not, it also came out weak and unsure because things were happening. Things were happening too fucking fast and he had to catch up on all that time. If he'd just sit still and let it happen, if he wasted any more time with fucking explaining shit-

He didn't know how much time they had left until someone important to him got hurt. If it was Jeremy or Ray, he feared he was already too late.

But now as he stood here in the early morning light, he could feel Jack's hand shake where she was holding on to him. Her hair fell into her face as she shook him without any strength behind it and it hurt her, he could see it in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered instead, and she nodded as if that were the only words she could accept. Maybe it was.

He opened his arms a bit unsurely, because he wasn't really the most tactile person but when he pulled Jack in, it felt right. She was shaking and pale and drenched in sweat and he couldn't help but remember how she had kneeled in front of the couch, ready to get trapped in his shield with him. All just so she didn't have to be helpless anymore.

"I'm sorry," he muttered against her hair and carefully wrapped his arms around her. She didn't fight him anymore, just burrowed her face against his neck. Her shoulders felt cold and metallic and that was new. That was something he hadn't expected and the anger about it nearly stole his breath away.

"There has to be enough time to explain things," Jack said quietly. She kept her voice controlled, didn't want it to shake and Michael leaned his head against hers. "You can't just wake up and run away. You can't just scare me like that again. Anyone of us."

Looking up he saw Ryan and Gavin still standing in the doorway and Michael's heart sank.

"Okay," he promised. "Let's sit down and I'll try to explain."

"So you saw Jeremy get taken by Pandora?"

Michael nodded. "They dragged him out of his office and I followed them for a while, but then I went back to try and get into my body and that didn't work. When I tried looking for Jeremy again I couldn't find him. I don’t think he’s at Pandora’s headquarters because I searched through the whole thing. That place is massive!"

"What about Ray then? Do you think they found him?" Gavin asked. 

They were all sitting around the kitchen table as the sun crawled higher. Michael still wanted to move, to do something now that he could, but he also knew that they needed a plan. That he needed the others to be able to do anything. If their opponent was Pandora he needed all of them.

"I don't know," he admitted. "Shortly after I watched what happened to Jeremy I went to look for Pollux. Before I left Ray was still in his apartment but I haven't had a chance to check on him after I came back and I don't know how long I was gone exactly."

Gavin pressed his lips together and searched for his phone. "I sometimes message Ray but after Jeremy left we kept it on the down low. Ray was nervous that Jeremy would sell him out no matter what he promised and wanted to stay safe." He checked on his display and pulled a face. "Yeah, our last message was over six weeks ago. That's not helping."

"We tried calling him but he didn't pick up."

"Well it is super early. No way Ray is awake yet."

"That's why I want to drive there and see for myself," Michael insisted and turned to Jack. "If Pandora didn't get him yet we need to warn him about what's happening."

"You know where he’s hiding?"

"I saw it in my dream." Which sounded ridiculous out loud but it was true. There had been a connection to the place, like a string he could easily follow to find Ray, and fuck, he had hoped against hope that somehow Ray could see him.

"How can you go outside?" Ryan asked, and right, that was also an issue.

"Pollux deactivated my cuff and the chip in my neck. He did so for all of us!"

Ryan and Gavin shared a look but the joy about the message was missing and Michael frowned. They were the ones who were locked up the most! That was their only chance to have something like freedom again!

"Give it a try!"

"No offense, Michael but as great as your imaginary friend sounds like, I don't trust him at all," Ryan said, and Michael rolled his eyes.

"Oh come on! You literally saw me go outside right now! How can you still believe Pollux isn't real!"

"Because you told me he was standing right about there," he pointed to the corner of the kitchen where Pollux had appeared years ago, scaring the living shit out of Michael, "and nobody was there, Michael."

"I was just out there, and breaking news but my foot is still right where it's supposed to be!" He even lifted his leg to show him but quickly lowered it again when he noticed Jack's displeased look.

"Michael," Gavin interrupted him and put a calming hand on Ryan's arm to stop him as well. "We all saw it but you gotta understand... for you it would be your foot but for us..." He gesticulated to his neck where the collar was attached and Michael huffed.

He knew that. He fucking knew that there would be no chance in case those cuffs would explode but Pollux had-

"I'm not putting Gavin's or my life in the hands of someone I can't even see," Ryan said and it sounded final.

For a moment Michael still wanted to protest, to remind them that things had to happen fast now because they had already lost too much time but then he took a deep breath. Of course they wouldn't just risk their life just because he said it.

"Alright," he settled on and at least Gavin smiled at him.

"That's just all a bit sudden, boi. You just waking up like this and then everything just-" He made a motion with his hand as if that would explain things. It somehow did and Michael deflated.

For him things had gradually happened, he had seen Jeremy get taken and he had talked with Pollux. Things had happened one after another, but for them? For them he had just dropped all this news on them after nearly five months of literally nothing. How were they supposed to work through that over some coffee?

For a moment they continued to sit there in silence and Michael tried not to be pissed at them but it was hard. He stared down at his empty mug and nearly took it to throw against the wall but what good would that do?

"So," Jack finally interrupted their thoughts. She had been quiet after coming back inside, an unlit cigarette between her fingers that she kept on playing with. "How about Ryan and Gavin try to reach Geoff and get him to come back? Tell him something about an emergency or whatever, just not what really happened. Don't need Pandora listening in and knowing that Michael is awake again."

"But Ray-" Michael began to protest, but she stopped him right there.

"You and I will drive to look after Ray and see how he's doing. No offense but I don't want to let you out of my sight and just imagining you falling asleep on the wheel-"

"That's not how it works."

"Don't tell me how that works. You've been asleep for four months and just stand up and act like nothing happened. Normal people wouldn't even have the strength to sit up in that situation." She pointed the cigarette at him as a warning. "So don't pretend you have any idea how this shit works because you're just winging this as much as we are."

Well okay. Fair.

Still he wanted to talk back but the glimmer in Jack’s eyes reminded him that it probably wouldn’t be his best idea.

“Okay, let’s do it like that.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What's your plan?" Jack asked finally and threw her cigarette out of the window. "About Jeremy, I mean. You want to get him out?"

Chapter 2

Twenty minutes after he had caught the others up, Michael was sitting in the car, watching restlessly as Jack just sat behind the wheel, not doing shit. Her hands were gripping tightly and the engine was going, but she made no move to drive, and right as Michael wanted to snap at her, she shook her head.

"You sure you won't fall asleep at the wheel?"

"I told you! I'm not tired right now!"

"Fine." She sighed and turned towards him. There was something tight in the way she looked at him. "Gonna be honest here, I don't have any feeling in my hands. That's not the best condition to drive in but usually I just pull through. Won't do that with you sitting next to me."

He hadn't known that and now bit his lip. Jack hated pity and he did as well, so he didn't want to say something but he hated that her body reacted like that, that Pandora didn’t give a shit. 

She must have seen it on his face anyway because she just huffed and began to get out of the car. Michael climbed into the driver seat and waited until she sat down beside him.

"We all pay for our gift," she told him, and he knew that. He damn fucking knew that, after all he had been the one asleep for the past few months. Still-

"As long as I can still move my hands I'll be fine," she told him. "Drive now."

"Alright."

The drive to Ray would take them around an hour depending on traffic. They were early enough that they hopefully didn't have to worry much about that, but there might be some people heading to work. Michael had a general idea about how to avoid most of it but honestly he was kind of nervous. He'd have prefered it if he drove alone, simply because he wasn't sure where exactly Ray lived.

Traveling there in his mind had felt... well, like a dream. He had known the way, had followed the glowing string to Ray and in his mind it had all made sense, how everything made sense in dreams. So now he had a picture of the apartment complex Ray was living in and the general area in his head but not much else.

Searching the place on his own would've been nerve wracking as it was but with Jack sitting next to him? Well no way to change that now so for now he just concentrated on getting there in the first place.

The radio was playing quietly, talking about some political shit he didn’t care about; he felt out of touch after four months of nothing. So he reached down to put it out and they continued in silence.

Next to him Jack finally lit her cigarette and he tried not to stare as her thumb got too close to the flame. She herself didn’t notice and was now just taking deep drags. 

Occasionally she would lift her phone to her ear, calling Ray, but no one picked up.

"What's your plan?" Jack asked finally and threw her cigarette out of the window. "About Jeremy, I mean. You want to get him out?"

"I’m not-" He trailed off, gripping the wheel tighter.

"It must have been on your mind. If you just wanted to look after Ray you could've asked Pollux to free you from your own cuff, not everyones’."

"And leave Ryan and Gavin chained down like dogs?" he snapped at her before taking a deep breath. "Listen, of course I thought about saving Jeremy."

"But?"

He threw her a glance, knowing fully well she was just testing him. "But Pandora has him. He's in one of their facilities and not only don't we know where exactly, but I have not a single clue how the fuck we would get him out of there."

"You were a Pandora agent before this as well. Where did they take you once you volunteered?"

"They had some kind of barracks where they put me through some tests and shit before I went through the portal, but Jeremy isn't a volunte-" He stopped himself right there, feeling dread curl in his stomach at the thought. Next to him Jack was watching him closely before she pulled another cigarette out of her pack.

Usually Michael saw her smoking maybe once in awhile, but today she didn't seem to stop.

"As far as we know Jeremy was taken by Pandora in the past four weeks after I saw him at their headquarters. Either because they found out he helped us during his time here or because of the recent changes he keeps on making. Whatever the reason, he will be marked as a traitor." She turned the cigarette between her fingers, round and around. "They will make him talk, we both know that. If Pandora wants Jeremy to talk they will find a way. They have people for that and even worse, they have demons for it. Demons who twist your mind or keep you awake until you're begging for sleep. Maybe demons who can just force you to speak the truth, fuck if I know. Gavin surely would, and he'd have some real nasty ones in his databank I haven't even thought about yet. Jeremy will talk about Ray, that's unavoidable."

"I know that," Michael snarled. He didn't want to imagine what Pandora was capable of, he wasn't even sure if he could, if his mind would let him go that far.

"After they get what they can from Jeremy why throw him away if he can still be useful? They will send him through the portal. Either he comes back or he doesn't," Jack said. Her tone was even but her cigarette betrayed her as it kept on dancing restlessly. "If they already got what they want from him then he might be in one of the barracks you were in. They might be preparing to send him through the portal."

"Fucking Christ."

"How long were you there, Michael?"

"Two weeks before the portal. After I got out I was transported into high security and stayed four months there to rest and get a feel for my demon. I only moved on after I got into a category."

"So he might still be there, depending on when they took him. If we're lucky they haven't sent him through the portal yet and we can save him. The barracks are at least an easier target then the high security areas."

"Jeremy isn't a volunteer though," Michael reminded her. "We don't know if he was put in the barracks in the first place."

"I know." Jack sighed and finally put her cigarette back in the pack. "The alternative might be that they just pushed him through the portal and he's lost. Either he is forever gone or if he came back out, Pandora will have him locked away with the other new demons. And there's no way we can get in there."

Michael nodded reluctantly. Yeah, he remembered the high security facility. Even though he had stayed there, he had no clue where he had been. It had felt like he had been underground, no windows or daylight to indicate any location or time. Just thick steel walls and guards at every corner, hunters and demons alike.

Nobody got in or out there, it was specially designed to contain new demons who had no control over their gifts yet. If Jeremy was in there they wouldn't see him again until he was one of Pandora's demons. If he had made it out of the Nether in the first place.

"Maybe we get lucky," Michael offered but didn't believe in his own words. Jack didn't either but she had the decency to not call him out on his bullshit.

"Yeah, maybe."

To his surprise, finding Ray's apartment complex wasn't as hard as he had feared. Sure, he had traveled here in a dream, but once they reached the general area he found it without much hassle. It was as if someone was pulling him on invisible strings like in his dreams, as if he could hear Ray calling out to him.

That was good right? That meant Ray was still there? Or it was just a memory, a déjà vu that was waiting for him. He wasn't sure but it unnerved him and he had to fight down shivers. When he parked the car he couldn't move for a while and just stared up at the complex.

Next to him Jack called Ray one more time before giving up. Her eyes were also watching the building before nodding to herself.

"Just another complex in Los Santos. A drop in the ocean right beneath Pandora's nose. You can say a lot about the boy but he sure is ballsy."

Michael nodded but deep inside he knew that wasn't quite right. He had watched Ray in this apartment, how he had paced around the space like he wanted to break out, how he had hesitated on the threshold everytime he stepped out. The different photographs around, showing their faces.

Deep inside Michael knew that it was Gavin who had sent Ray pictures occasionally, who had made sure that Ray had a memento of them in some way after cutting all ties. And with the same deep knowledge Michael also knew the reason why Ray stayed here.

"He wants to be close to us in case we need him."

Jack turned to him and he could see her smile. She seemed pleased hearing that and he had to smile as well.

They got out and Michael lead the way. Only when they stepped inside the elevator of the complex he hesitated, closed his eyes and had to count. Fourth floor, yeah, that sounded about right.

"Not hundred percent sure if that's right," he admitted as he pushed the button. "Letters and numbers were... weird somehow. Like I knew what they said while I was dreaming but I couldn't really see them? I don't know."

"I always had a feeling that you had a weird general knowledge of everything when you’re dreaming. Like you know where to go or that something is hiding in the shadows. There is no reason but you just know."

"Yea-" Michael stopped. Like most elevators this one had a mirror at the back wall, making it appear bigger than it actually was. He saw himself there, pale as always, and he saw Jack leaning against the wall, looking up as the floors ticked by.

Michael's shadow didn't fit. It didn't pool at his feet like Jack's did, a neat little patch coming from the lights above. No, his shadow was crawling up the side of the elevator and it was dark, darker than it had any right to be in here, and he feared that if he would look closer it would stare back. It would stare back from a thousand eyes and sit on his shoulder.

With a ding the doors slid open but the shadow was still there, even though there was even more light falling in from outside now. Like this, it looked like there was someone else, a third person standing right behind Michael.

There  _ was  _ someone, he was pretty sure there was. Somewhere, in another world that was nearly like this one, someone was riding this elevator. Did they see Michael as well? Was he a shadow in the corner of their eyes? Not there anymore once they turned around?

Maybe not even that. Most people weren't as fine tuned as him. Most people didn't see what he saw in mirrors.

"Michael?" Jack asked, already halfway out of the elevator.

"Reality is thin in dreams," he found himself saying. "Like a veil. You can almost see through, can see that something is behind there, breathing and moving, but you don't pull at the veil. You don't dare because what's behind isn't meant for you."

Only that he had seen what was hiding, he had ripped the whole veil down and had gotten lost in the endlessness behind it. He had found home once but he wasn't sure if he would get that lucky again.

A crack appeared at the top of the mirror and lazily traveled downwards. Michael watched as the crack parted straight through the reflection of his leg and could feel the phantom pain of it. Someone had hurt him there, someone had cut him, and there was now a lot of blood. He was so scared because he didn’t know what to do and it was in his shoes. He was sitting in a lonely bathroom, bleeding on tiles and the light above him was flickering. On - off - on - off - on - of-

Jack grasped his shoulder and he jumped. There was no bathroom and when he checked on his leg there was no slash there. Fuck, there wasn't even a crack in the damn mirror, just Jack's worried face.

Breathing out, Michael shook himself. Fucking Christ.

"Sorry." He turned away from the mirror and closed his eyes as he stepped out of the elevator. He only opened them again when he heard the doors close behind him. "Looked too deep."

"It's getting worse."

"I'm unmoored from this world here. It's easier to get lost now."

Jack squeezed his shoulder but stayed silent. Just like her, he didn't appreciate the pity. It wasn't going to help any of them. Instead they had to concentrate on the issue ahead and Michael took one last breath to get his bearings back.

In front of them was a long hallway with doors leading to each side. Small apartments, maybe ten on this floor, so it shouldn't be too hard to find Rays’. If they were on the right floor that was.

Jack stepped ahead, looking up and down the doors as if she could instantly tell which one it was and Michael tried to remember, but something was holding him back. It was his still heavily beating heart after what had just happened. The small shock as to how thin reality had become for him and if he'd remembered dream walking, he might slip right back into sleep.

"Michael," Jack called and he followed her. She had stopped in front of one door, pointing at it and he realized what she meant when he came closer.

There was yellow police tape stretched across the door and his heart never had a chance to calm down as he grew sick. He threw a look to Jack but she just pressed her lips together and pointed to the crack between the door and the frame. The tape was broken there, so they weren't the first one here.

Jack turned the handle and the door swung open.

The stench was the first thing hitting them and Michael pulled a face. Old, coagulated blood that nobody had bothered with and fuck, nothing smelled quite like it.

Jack had her hand pressed against her nose as she stepped in and Michael followed. Inside it was dark because all the blinds were closed and he searched around for a switch. When he finally found it he prepared himself and put on the light.

It wasn't the worst he had ever seen but it certainly wasn't pleasant.

The apartment was one big room with only one door, leading away to a bathroom. By the amount of chaos in the little space someone had broken in, searching for something because what little possessions he could see were all strewn around.

The couch was overturned and behind it he could see deep, black bullet holes. There were some blood splatters on the walls as well, every evidence neatly numbered with little white cards.

Someone had sat there or had quickly tried to hide behind the couch. The intruder had shot three times, hitting at least once before..?

Michael turned and found the source of the smell. The most blood was in the corner behind the door, enough to kill a man and sure enough Michael could see the outlines of a body on the floor. It was eerie seeing those neat white chalk lines right next to the mess and for a second he was sure if he wanted he could see the man lying there.

That one had been a single bullet, at least he could only see one bullet hole in the wall. By the spray and amount of blood it had hit the throat. From behind the couch?

Maybe, it was hard to tell without the right equipment but it was likely.

"Phone," Jack said and touched the phone lying on the kitchen desk. "It's dead. Could be Rays’."

"Ray is a good shot," Michael said and threw another glance at the blood splatter behind the couch. "They surprised him but he had a gun. Ray isn't stupid enough not to be armed at any time."

"Handprint on the window." Jack had walked behind the couch and was taking a look there. "And this could be a footprint on the window sill. He might have jumped out."

"Fucking hard to kill you if you can heal."

Jack hummed. She looked around, a frown on her face. "Something isn't right."

Yeah, something didn't add up, Michael just couldn't put his finger on it. The place looked familiar enough, the same déjà vu experience he already had in the car, but not quite. Something was missing, something was so obviously wrong with the picture in front of him but he couldn't quite tell.

Then, as Jack went to check on the bathroom it hit him.

"It's all flipped." No, not that but close. "When I was in Ray's apartment the door to the bathroom was on the other side. It's inverted, Jack!"

"Maybe he had an apartment on the other side of the hallway?"

He wasn't sure about that, but that could be - that would make sense.

Jack stepped back out of the bathroom and then shook her head. "It's all fake."

"What do you mean?"

"The things that are in here. A few clothes and games but not enough. Not the right ones." She pointed to the game cases on the floor and Michael began to understand.

Those were old games, shitty games. Some games that Ray might pick up but not really get into.

Sure, Ray could've come back to get his favorite games and run away but not even he was that idiotic. Also Michael couldn't even see a console of any kind, and he didn't think that Ray had just waltzed in here and calmly collected his possessions before getting the fuck away.

"I don't like this," Jack told him. "This looks like someone planted this. We should get out of here."

"You think this is a trap from Pandora?"

"I don't know. It's some kind of trap and I don't want to be any part of it." She took a hold of Michael's arm and began to drag him outside again. He didn't protest, just threw another glance back to the apartment. The TV, small and old and fuck, Ray would've gotten a big one. That would be one of his top priorities.

The fresh air hit him like a slap in the face but he barely noticed, still pondering about what he had just seen. Then he walked straight into Jack and turned around.

Ray stood a few feet away from them in the hallway, his hood pulled deep into his face but so clearly him. He had also frozen on the spot, his eyes big as he stared at them before his whole body relaxed.

“Ray!” Jack called but he barely paid her any mind.

“You’re awake,” he whispered instead, and Michael couldn’t help but laugh.

“Surprise?”

“Fucking asshole.” He hurled his hand back to hit him on the shoulder but it was nothing against Jack’s punch from this morning, more a friendly shuffle. So he pulled Ray in and Ray nearly crushed him with his hug, arms tight around him and one hand buried in his hair.

A breathless sort of laugh came from Ray.

“Gavin said you were asleep. He said they couldn’t wake you up.”

“Woke up last night, figured I’d come for a visit,” Michael joked and felt how Ray shook his head with a huff. He let him go then, turning to Jack.

“And you just let him get away with that?”

“Oh, I punched him in the face if that makes you feel better.”

“It actually does.” Ray hugged her just as tightly before his face darkened and he took a step back. “Wait, how did you find me here? Also how the fuck are you here?” He pointed to Michael’s leg where the useless cuff was hidden.

“That’s a long story. Why are you living at a crime scene?”

“Oh right, that.” Ray hesitated for a moment before beckoning them to follow him. “Let's get out of the hallway first.”

He opened a door to another apartment and ushered them inside. It was on the opposite side of the hallway and Michael felt the strange déjà vu feeling finally settle. The door to the bathroom was on the right side and the big flat screen TV had an assortment of consoles beneath it. That place looked more like in his dream.

“My phone started to ring about… three weeks ago. Unknown number and all that jazz,” Ray began right away as they settled on the couch. “Call me fucking paranoid but I had a bad feeling about it.”

“Who was it?”

“I didn’t pick up but apparently it was Pandora. God knows how they got my number.”

Michael shared a quick look with Jack that Ray picked up on. “Well, apparently you guys have an idea. Was it Jeremy?”

“We know that Jeremy was taken by Pandora. But where did he get your number? We were careful not to let our phones lay around at home. Fuck, I freaking changed your name in my contacts just to be sure.”

“Which name?”

“Taylor.”

“Meh, pass.”

“Jeremy lived with us for weeks, I’m sure he found an opportunity,” Jack said. “Question is just what else he found out. So Pandora located your phone?”

Ray nodded. “I figured something like that, I mean we all saw what Pandora can do if they want to find someone. Was hard enough to get out of there in the first place. So I had to get rid of the phone and get out of here because this place was compromised.”

“You prepared the fake apartment?”

“Well, I knew that it was unoccupied so I got in and did some adjustments. Wanted it to look like a heedless flight but well, Pandora is quick. One of their agents barged in there when I was still trying to make it look like I lived there.” He shrugged. “Took them out and got out of there. There were some more who took shots at me when I was running away, as if that would do shit but yeah, got away and hid for a while. Pandora was looking around the area but I had prepared some hiding spots, so I just waited.”

"Wait. You said three weeks ago?"

"Yeah, since then they occasionally sent people out to check on this place but besides the first sweep through the building they never checked on the other apartments again. I just returned here."

"Jesus Christ, Ray. Why didn't you contact us?"

"Well, my phone was compromised and I didn't know why. I didn't want to drag you into this mess. Figured if Pandora knew about me then you'd also be in trouble," he protested, and Michael actually threw a look to Jack.

"He's right. Are we in trouble with Pandora?"

She frowned and then shook her head. "Not necessarily? We were supposed to get two new members a couple weeks ago and I found it a bit weird that Pandora kept on pushing that deadline more and more. Figured those two guys just weren't ready yet or something. But Geoff is nearly constantly at Pandora since then. He didn't say anything."

"They want to keep an eye on Geoff. Figured that if anything happened it would start with him, so they kept him away," Ray said, and Michael agreed.

"You think Ryan and Gavin can get him to come back?"

"Hard to tell." She went to get up and Michael also quickly scrambled to his feet. "Only one way to find out."

They were already halfway across the room when Michael noticed that Ray wasn't following them, and he hesitated. Right, this wasn't really Ray's problem anymore and still he turned towards him, waiting for a reaction.

Coming with them and potentially going against Pandora would mean he could get captured again. Pandora wouldn't kill him of course, he was too damn useful for that, but looking at Ray now, he was sure that he'd nearly prefered that to getting locked away again.

Ray sat there, playing restlessly with his sleeve before sighing.

"Oh well fuck it," he muttered. "Lemme get some stuff first and I'll come along. Can't let you run into your own demise, can I?"

Michael gave Ray a quick rundown of the situation when they were waiting in line at the drive-thru of McDonald's, where apparently Ray had been heading to before they had interrupted him so rudely. Ray’s words, not his. 

"I got one question though," Ray said and leaned ahead from his seat in the back. "Why is your imaginary friend God and why is he best buddies with you of all people?"

Michael couldn't help but snort.

"Dude, you act like I have any idea about what is happening here."

He tried to glance at Ray but that would mean looking in the rear-view mirror, and after before he wasn't really in the mood for that. It wouldn't be the first time he would see someone sit in the backseat that didn't belong here and he didn't want to experience that again.

Still, with Ray here he dared to relax a little. Pandora had come for him but Ray had avoided them, so that was one less person to worry about.

Unfortunately that also meant that Pandora had made Jeremy talk, and by the looks of it that had been three weeks ago. If Jack was right, Jeremy was currently in the barracks. If not somewhere worse.

"Everything is clear at home, we shouldn't run into any problems on our way. Ryan reached Geoff and asked him to come back," Jack said and put her phone in her pocket. There was still a frown on her face though and it didn't take long to voice her worries, "I have a bad feeling about this. Like Pandora knows we're making a move."

Michael threw her a sidelong glance, but didn't know what to say. In the end she just sighed and leaned back, looking out of the window.

"Whatever we do, Michael, we have to get to somewhere that isn't that house. If Pandora finds out about this..." She didn't finish the sentence. It wasn't needed.

They reached the motel a bit after noon and Michael already felt a pounding headache coming. The pain was settling behind his eyes and a part of him wanted to lay down. He was exhausted, simple as that and his body demanded a break. He didn't quite dare to grant it one though.

"Ray!" Gavin called eagerly, jumping up and down behind the door and Ray shook his head, fondly.

"Like a puppy." And because he was a dick he lingered on the steps for a moment longer, knowing that Gavin couldn't reach him there. Michael shoved him inside and right into Gavin's arms to watch him get dragged away.

Ryan was sitting on the steps leading upwards and didn't look quite as enthusiastic.

"When will Geoff be back?" Jack asked him.

"He wasn't too sure. He's still wrapped up with Pandora but he's trying to get back as soon as possible." Ryan pulled a face. "He was in some meeting, I could hear people talk around him, so I couldn't really tell him what was going on but I think he got it. Still, I got a bad feeling."

"Pandora somehow got Ray's number and located him thanks to that," Jack explained to him.

"When?"

"Three weeks ago."

"Fuck." Ryan rubbed his face before glancing to Michael. "I know you don't want to hear that but three weeks? Jeremy is done for."

"Jack thinks Pandora wants him to go through the portal. Maybe he's still in one of those barracks we were kept in."

"You really think they'll keep him that long there?"

Michael shrugged, a bit helplessly. He hoped so. He fucking well hoped so because if Jeremy was already lost he had been too late. His whole journey to get back here and he'd come one or two weeks late.

"Even if he is still there," Ryan went on, "I have no idea where that place is. Not only that, surely there are more than one and we have no idea in which Jeremy is being kept."

Michael pressed his lips together and Ryan was still watching him, something nearly challenging in his eyes.

Thankfully Jack at least tried to defuse the situation.

"Maybe Geoff knows. We'll have to talk with him about this whole issue and then... then we'll see."

She left them standing there, searching for both Ray and Gavin, but Michael didn't follow her. He felt the hostility coming from Ryan in waves and was taken aback by that.

"You don't even want to try saving Jeremy?" he asked.

"That's not the issue, Michhael. Even though we might already be too late to do anything and then yeah, I think it would be better to save our own skin because he's just one person. Just one person that we've known for a couple of months and don't get me wrong, if given the choice I would gladly help Jeremy. But if Pandora finds out," he shook his head, "You, Ray and Jack are too damn useful for them but, Gavin and I? God alone knows what they would do to us. Geoff as well, they want him gone anyway."

"When did you lose your balls, Haywood?"

Ryan didn't raise to the bait, just sighed tiredly. "It's risky, that's all. If you guys decide to go then I will help you, but you have to know what you're getting us into."

He got up from the stairs, now quite a bit taller than Michael. Ryan's hand brushed against his arm, not in a reassuring way but rather a silent threat.

"Also I would prefer it if you wouldn't get my boyfriend to blow his head off."

"I told you the collar is deactivated."

"Easy for you to say."

"Do you really not trust me after everything?" Michael asked, and now he wasn't just pissed. He was actually hurt.

"We've been on enough missions that you should know that I would easily trust you with my life. I've done so before," Ryan told him. "It's just that some things-" He trailed off when the other's entered the room again, but yeah, that pretty much answered that question.

By the way Gavin glared at Ryan, Michael wasn’t the first one who had a discussion with Ryan about that. Fuck, he understood where Ryan was coming from, he really did! He didn’t want Gavin to hurt in any way either and yeah, he knew the risk. But Pollux had freed them, Pollux had granted him that very wish. It was their only chance at freedom, God dammit!

Sighing, Michael tried to calm down. He didn’t want to fight about that right now and Ryan also pushed it aside to carefully touch Ray’s arm.

“Good to see you again.”

Catching up was fun. No matter how weird the circumstances were, sitting around the kitchen table together had something familiar to it. Sure, there were certainly things they should do and prepare for but without a real goal it was hard to do. They had to wait for Geoff, because out of all of them Geoff knew the most about Pandora and would hopefully at least give them a hint at where to start.

Jack had laid down after coming home. After all, the night had been short and she had slept by his side, uncomfortable and worried.

Ryan and Gavin also looked tired but maybe that was because they had fought while everyone was gone. It was clear in how awkward their conversation was in the beginning and how neither of the two truly looked at each other. It got better the longer they sat together though and when Ray told them about his every day life, it made all of them laugh. It was endearing how exited Ray was about the most mundane things but the more Michael listened, the more he himself yearned for it.

To just get out, grab some food when he felt like it. To simply go anywhere, a café or the cinema.

Ray picked up on the shift in mood and Gavin took over, telling them about all that they had missed. The new members of the team and why exactly they sucked, even if Gavin hadn’t met them yet.

An hour later Jack joined them again, looking more rested than before and neither of them commented on the obvious bed hair. She was also the one who noticed the car approaching the house.

“Geoff is finally back.”

Immediately Ray turned to Michael. “Should we like hide and jump out on him?”

“That might just kill him.”

“You should just sit here and let him come in,” Gavin said. “See how long it takes him to notice.”

“Dude, like in Harry Potter?”

“Yeah, like Arthu-”

“Fuck!” Jack called and Michael turned towards her. The smile from before was gone and when he went to look out of the window, she quickly pushed him back.

“There are two cars, someone else is with him.”

“Who?”

“Does it matter?”

And then it dawned to Michael that it had to be someone from Pandora. Someone who came to check on things and they wouldn’t find it funny if they found him and Ray just sitting at the table as if nothing had happened.

Gavin was pulling at his sleeve and he barely noticed.

“Get up! Get up, you have to hide!”

Right. He turned to Ray and didn’t like how pale he was. The other was staring at the door as if he only waited for it to open but then his eyes darted to Michael.

“Hide!” Gavin insisted again and this time Michael nodded.

“Come.” He grasped Ray’s arm and they hurried out of the kitchen. Outside he could hear the cars stop as they stumbled up the stairs. Jack was watching them, ready to pull open the door once they had hid and greet Geoff and whoever came along. Ready to buy them some time.

Michael turned the corner and out of view, pushing himself against the wall. That had been too close, he could hear boots on the three steps leading up to the front door and then Geoff's voice.

Ray lingered next to him, listening intently before holding one finger up.

One person. A man who introduced himself as Clark Layor or something. Michael couldn't see him but he sounded like a right asshole just by his voice.

Michael gave a curt nod before his heart nearly stopped when he noticed that Ray pulled a gun from God knows where. Quickly he put a hand on Ray's, pushing it down, but Ray just watched him with his calm dark eyes.

He would shoot. In case they got found Ray wouldn't hesitate to shoot this man, because for him that was a way better option than somehow getting caught by Pandora. And fuck, Michael could understand that, if push came to shove he would do it as well, but right now he didn't want to just go down there and shoot this person. He didn't want things to get fucking messy already because that sure as hell would alert Pandora.

"Follow me," he mouthed and after a second of hesitation, Ray nodded.

Michael dragged him back into his own room and with the closed door, he dared to take a deep breath.

"Pandora knows that something is up," Ray whispered right away. "They got suspicious when we called Geoff back. What if they don't leave?"

"Let's hope they have more important things to worry about than u-" He trailed off because there was someone coming up the stairs. They both froze as the steps groaned under the weight and fuck, fuck, fu-

There was Geoff's voice coming closer, and he was talking to someone. Someone that wasn't part of their group because Geoff's voice was tight, angry and Michael jumped when Ray grasped his arm.

"You're suppose to be asleep!" he hissed and pointed to the bed.

Fuck, right.

"What about you?"

Ray hesitated, looking around for somewhere to hide but there wasn't much space in the room in the first place. Maybe the wardrobe but the thing was messy and it would be a tight squeeze and fuck, what if this Layor just opened the door? Same with the bathroom or-

"Beneath the bed," Michael said and pushed Ray towards it. "I'll put a shield around us anyway, he can't find you then!"

"I'm not sure if I can fit."

But there wasn't any time to worry about that because it sounded like Geoff had reached the top of the stairs, his voice now clear. Just like theirs would be and so Ray just let himself drop to the floor and glanced beneath the bed. He pulled a hoodie out from beneath the bed that Michael had searched for since the better part of the year before trying to squeeze beneath himself.

Ray wasn't a big guy, quite the opposite actually, but damn, it quickly became obvious that he would not just hide beneath the bed. He got his legs in and then got stuck and Michael fucking sat down, trying to push him further because if his damn ass would just slip through than-

That was the first thing Geoff saw when he pushed the door open.

And honestly? His expression was pretty damn hilarious. For a second or two he just continued talking, holding the conversation with Layor while his face went slack in shock.

Well, that was fair enough. For the past four months all he had found in this room was a sleeping Michael and certainly not Michael and Ray, sitting on the ground with Ray halfway beneath the bed and Michael's feet on his hips, trying to push him under.

Yeah, Michael was pretty sure that it was reasonable to be shocked about such a picture.

Then Geoff's voice trailed off as well and Michael just stared at him while Geoff stared back, trying to work through what he was seeing. That was the moment Layor stepped around the corner and saw them as well.

His reaction wasn't as funny. No, Layor hesitated, clearly also surprised by what he found, but then his brow furrowed. He grew angry and his hand went beneath his coat to a weapon or a phone to alert Pandora and both of those possibilities were bad, were catastrophic and-

And next to him Ray pulled himself up, reaching to the back of his shorts to pull out his own gun.

In that moment Gavin gave a loud battle cry and also appeared in the doorway, hand pulled back to try something that could only be described as a karate-chop against Layor's neck. It did little to nothing but Layor actually turned towards him looking just as flabbergasted as Michael felt.

Gavin just stared up at the man as if he couldn't believe the man hadn't dropped like dead weight by his measly punch and now didn't know what else to do.

That's when Ryan appeared by his side and gently pushed him away if only to slap Layor against the back of the head. The punch didn't look like much either, certainly slower and more calculated than Gavin's but it worked. Layor dropped to the floor and for a second his body hitting the ground was the only noise. They all just kinda stared down to him, trying to work out what had just happened.

Then Michael heard Jack sigh somewhere. He couldn't see her from where he was still sitting in front of his bed but the sigh was loud enough to travel.

"I'm getting some rope."

Her steps were loud on the stairs as she went back down and Michael still couldn't take his eyes from the downed man. Layor was still alive, he could see him breathe, but he could see the white of his eyes from here.

"What the fuck was that, Gavin?" Ray asked eventually, and Gavin just shrugged.

"Well, in movies that always works and I figured we needed to take this guy down somehow."

"Those people in the movies usually have an ounce of strength in them and don't shriek like a bird."

"Listen," Gavin began only to gesture at Ryan by his side, "it worked didn’t it?"

"Not thanks to you!"

Geoff cleared his throat and they all fell silent and turned to him. Honestly, Geoff looked just as shocked as in the moment he had opened the door, as if everything in between hadn't happened or he was just working through it. He kept on glancing from Michael and Ray to Layor on the floor and then back towards the two of them. Fuck, he hadn't even moved until now, still holding on to the door like he had just stopped there and was buffering.

Now he shook his head softly and finally entered the room. With two long strides he crouched in front of Michael and Ray, a hand on each as if to make sure they were real. He squeezed Michael's shoulder nearly painfully but his eyes didn't leave him for a second.

Then he turned around, facing Ryan and Gavin.

"Would someone kindly explain to me what the fuck is going on?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Michael, you were singing. Where did you learn that lullaby?"

Chapter 3

"So..." Ryan said. "What now?"

They were upstairs in their meeting room, a place they rarely even visited, but as it turned out it was actually a multi-purpose room because right now it was the perfect place to hold Layor prisoner. Ryan had carried him up here and they had strapped him down on a chair with the rope Jack had brought them. Layor was still out of it, drooling onto his tie and with a trickle of blood coming from his ears. Besides that he appeared fine and it was only a matter of time when he would wake up again, so Ryan's question was pretty fair.

Why everyone turned towards Michael in that moment, he didn't know. Well, besides Geoff who sat on the other side of the table, head in his hands and looking way too tired for this shit. Also fair.

"How should I know?" Michael asked, and Ryan shrugged.

"All of this started with you, I figured you'd have a plan."

"When do I ever have a plan? All I did was wake up last night." That wasn't quite true, but right now Michael had no idea what he should do. Until now it appeared clear; to make sure that Ray wasn't in any danger and to tell the others what he knew. There hadn't been much time to think about what else there was to do.

"Who is this guy anyway?"

"James Layor," Geoff answered with a deep sigh. "I was having a meeting with him when you guys called and he demanded to come with me to check on Michael. He was looking for a reason for quite some time because he didn't believe us that Michael was still asleep which... I guess he was right about. Not that I knew about that!" He huffed, but there was barely any heat behind it. He was just exhausted. "He's part of the head of demon distribution. Basically one of the guys who decides which demons work together and join a team or just work from Pandora."

"So... they will miss him?"

"Of fucking course they will miss him!"

They fell silent for a while, staring down at Layor as if he would just disappear and solve the problem like that. When that didn't happen, Ray stepped up.

"The way I see it, we got questions and this guy probably has answers."

"What the fuck is that suppose to mean?"

Ray shrugged. "We try to find out where they took Jeremy, right? Surely this guy knows about that."

Geoff looked up at the mention of Jeremy and fuck, Michael really needed to catch him up on everything when they had a break. Not right now though and he turned to Ray.

"No way he will tell you."

"We just have to make him," Ray said easily, and it grew very, very quiet in the room. Michael couldn't help but stare at Ray at the implication alone. They couldn't just... just what? Torture that guy until he talked? Even if, then what? Would they just get rid of him?

"Jesus Christ, Ray," Geoff mumbled and Gavin also stared at him, pale as a sheet.

"We can't do that," he whispered but Ray shook his head.

"Why the fuck not? He works for the very Project that put a damn collar around your throat and locked you in here, only to get out like three times a year. Considering Layors’ position he would be the guy who would separate you and Ryan the moment he found out that you guys are doing the dirty." Ray looked around, locking eyes with each and every one of them. "You guys think they did anything different to Jeremy? Fuck, they probably did worse! They have some nasty demons they keep around for shit like that."

Fuck, yeah probably. But still-

"Ray's right," Ryan said, and Michael turned towards him.

"Are you for real?"

"We have Layor here already. We can't just let him go after what happened because then we have alerted the whole of Pandora and any form of plan is down the drain. Fuck, he saw you awake and Ray here. We're fucking screwed if Layor gets back to Pandora."

"So what? You wanna just off him?" Gavin asked and to Michael's horror Ryan shrugged. Fuck, even Jack looked like she was considering it.

"Layor would have no problem detonating that collar of yours if you stepped out of line," she reminded Gavin.

"But-"

"Do you have another idea?"

Gavin opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He threw a helpless glance towards Geoff, hoping he would talk some sense into them but Geoff didn't. No, Geoff still looked endlessly exhausted, but most of all thoughtful. When he finally reacted it was only to look at Michael.

"You have some things to fucking explain to me."

So Michael found himself in the living room. Sitting on the couch with Geoff opposite of him made him feel like he was in fucking custody, even though that was fucking stupid. Fuck, this whole day felt weird and endlessly long, but even so, he didn't look as tired as Geoff in the moment.

Michael hadn't asked Jack how long Geoff had been at Pandora this time, but if he had been prepared to add some new members to the team it surely had been a while. Even so, Michael recognized this special kind of exhaustion, had seen it one too many times. He was pretty sure Pandora had used Geoff to cleanse someone while he was there, and that was a touchy topic at the best of times and with the chaos around them, Michael didn't quite dare to bring it up.

Instead, he sat there, telling his story once again as well as he could. Geoff had his hands folded in front of his face, listening intently without interrupting him once. That was good, Michael had a hard time concentrating and keeping everything in the right order. God, the day had really been long.

At one point Gavin had joined them. Not to talk or add anything to the story, just to get away from whatever was happening upstairs. Down here they couldn't hear anything coming from above, but Michael was pretty sure that they had already started. Not after Geoff had made no real move to stop them, and fuck, Ryan was kinda right. They couldn't just let Layor go after what he had seen. This whole mess just added a ton of pressure on them because Layor's disappearance wouldn't go unnoticed for long.

On the other hand, which was the thing that kinda really turned his stomach, was that Layor didn't really have a choice but to talk. The thing was - they could hurt him, Ryan had the strength for it, and Ray would keep watch - wouldn't let him die. 

Jack? Jack was scary enough on her own and Michael had seen the look in her eyes before they left the room. She was pissed off; she was angry and well aware of the damage Pandora had done. Not only to her own body, her arms that were barely hers anymore, but also to the others. To Ryan and Gavin who were locked away, to Geoff and how exhausted he was. Fuck, it was Pandora's fault that Michael had contracted Triella and fallen asleep, and of course there was Ray. Ray and that fucking nightmare he had gone through, only to be pulled back into it.

Jack was protective of them at the best of times and Michael knew that didn't just mean this team, she included Jeremy. Because Jeremy had been a part of this team, and now he was gone.

Fuck, what an absolute mess.

When Michael was finally done Geoff just sat there, head still in his hands, and for a moment Michael actually believed the other was asleep. He could understand that, he also felt tired  and there was a stinging pain behind his eyeballs .

Next to him Gavin's leg jerked uncontrollably. Up and down, up and down. Michael put his hand on top of it and pushed it down because it was fucking unnerving him. Gavin just threw him an apologetic look and after a couple minutes Gavin's other leg started. So much for that.

Finally Geoff rubbed his face, a deep sigh coming from him.

"You know what kind of mess this is going to be, Michael?"

"I know," he admitted, and then when he took Geoff's bent figure in, "I'm sorry."

But Geoff just shook his head.

"Not your fault, buddy. It's good that you told us. I was wondering why it took so long to get our two new members. Pandora was waiting for well, something. Until they captured Ray, maybe?" He shook his head again but at least looked up this time. "They got Jeremy to talk and that means Pandora knows we helped Ray. They just haven't done shit about it because they fear we would warn Ray, which we did."

"But if Layor doesn't show up again..." Gavin began only to trail off. They all knew that once Pandora would start missing Layor they would come for them. They would come for them hard.

Geoff got up to step in front of the window and look out. The sun was starting to set on this endless day, and he checked on the time while he stood there.

"Layor wouldn't get back to Pandora today, it's too late," Geoff said. "I mean at least I hope so. Don't know if he's like a super workaholic or something, but let's just count on that. So he won't be missed until tomorrow."

"He has his phone somewhere, maybe we could send Pandora a message and say he's got the shits?" Gavin offered, making them huff.

"I don't think that will work but who knows, maybe it'll buy us some time. I think we at least have some time until tomorrow."

"And after that?"

"Then we have to disappear from here and not leave any trail behind," Geoff said and turned back around to Michael. "You said the chips and cuffs aren't working anymore?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Pollux disabled them. I was outside before and nothing happened."

"That's at least something."

"Geoff... what about Jeremy?" Gavin asked. He had one hand raised to his collar, touching it gently, and Michael knew that he wanted to try going outside, but oh the risk was too high. He didn't know exactly what Ryan had said to him, but it had shaken Gavin.

"Of course we will try to help Jeremy if we can," Geoff assured them, and Michael felt a weight being lifted from his chest. "But we need more information about that, so we have to know what Layor knows."

Gavin pulled a face at that but didn't talk back. Michael jostled him a little to cheer him up and barely noticed when Geoff stepped closer until he pulled him close.

"I'm glad to see you up and running again," Geoff mumbled and pressed Michael’s head against his belly, Michael had to smile.

"Sorry for causing such a ruckus."

"You'd think it'd be the guy with super strength or the one who controls fire, but yeah, you certainly cause the most chaos," Geoff teased before pressing a kiss to the top of Michael's head. "But that's part of the deal, I guess."

Two gentle slaps against Michael's shoulder and he was let go.

"And now I need as much coffee as I can possibly drink."

Amused Michael watched him leave and just a moment later Gavin leaned against his side. He threw him a short glance and couldn't help but notice how haunted Gavin looked.

"Everything alright?"

"Just a weird day," Gavin mumbled. "I went to the kitchen to get a glass of milk last night and next thing I know you and Ray are back and we have a prisoner upstairs who we are apparently torturing."

Michael wasn't sure if he should laugh or grimace at that. It was his fault that this was happening and it was touching to see the others all helping out. Didn't mean he didn't feel guilty about the whole thing.

"You don't have to play any part of this shit."

"Oh, believe me, I won't set foot in that room upstairs if I can avoid it."

"No, I meant in general."

Gavin huffed and threw him a look from beneath. "Same team, right? Your shields saved my life often enough, so if you need my help I'll be there." He shrugged, squirming a bit. "But I also want to help Jeremy. Whatever Pandora has done to him wasn't good and maybe we couldn't stop that from happening, but hopefully we can stop him from getting thrown into the Nether. Nobody should be forced through the portal, it's awful."

"Yeah..." 

That wasn't something Gavin usually talked about, his time before the portal, and right now Michael could tell he was already pushing it aside. Shaking himself, Gavin sighed and looked down.

"Ryan and I had a fight. He says it's too dangerous to go outside even though you said we're fine."

"He's just worried about you."

"I get that, but he's my boyfriend, not my father. He can't tell me what to do." He sighed again, deeper this time and he seemed to grow heavier by Michael's side. His eyes were searching for Michael's as he asked, "You are sure, right? That the collar won't explode?"

"That's what Pollux said." That was a weak answer, the answer of a coward. As if he could shift the blame to Pollux in case anything happened. No, it would be his responsibility and that was scary.

Gavin could tell and still he smiled. "It worked for you and Pollux also brought you back, right?" he offered.

Michael nodded and Gavin sat up again, a hand pressed against his collar.

"Have you like... tried to just take it off?"

Michael stopped. He hadn't even considered that option and now he looked down to his leg. Taking the cuff off? Fuck, that thing nearly felt like a part of his body at this point.

There was a mechanism to take it off, but it was usually locked. Pandora could unlock it, but it was rare that the cuff needed changing. Michael remembered probably three times it had happened, once during a routine check up from Pandora when he had first told them about his weird dreams, once when a newer version was available and once when he had twisted his leg and Ray hadn't been around to heal it. His ankle had swollen and it had hurt like a bitch and Geoff had to beg and yell until Pandora did shit about it.

Otherwise the thing always stayed on, it was waterproof and apparently indestructible. Now though he pulled his pants leg up and stared at it. Gavin also leaned ahead, watching attentively. The cuff looked pretty much the same as always, the white metal had a few scratches here and there but besides that it was untouched. The dim red light wasn't glowing anymore though and Michael bit his lip as he turned the cuff around and around. It felt smooth all around but he knew there was a shallow slot somewhere he could pull on but he had never bothered actually checking for it.

His fingers ran over the little dent and he hesitated.

"You think it will explode when you try to open it?" Gavin asked next to him as Michael put his leg up on the desk.

"I don't think so. I just don't want to break shit, there are explosives in there after all."

"At least Ray is upstairs if you screw up."

"What a relief, thanks Gav."

Gavin shot him a quick thumbs up before scooting away slightly. That was good; that way Michael could put a shield between them. Just to be sure, just in case pulling on the lock would really trigger something.

Then he dug his fingernails in, trying to lift the clasp how he had seen Pandora do before and... and it just clicked open. He was so surprised by how easy it was that he didn't even try to catch the thing as it slipped from around his ankle and fell to the ground, which was pretty stupid considering... well, that it was explosive. But the cuff hit the floor and stayed there and Michael barely noticed.

"I can't believe you actually have a tan," Gavin blurted out and flabbergasted Michael turned to him.

"That's what you can't believe out of this whole situation?"

Gavin shrugged and okay, yeah maybe. Michael also hadn't expected to see any difference between his skin under the cuff and his leg but well, there was. Not much but if possible the hidden skin was actually paler than the rest as him.

Next to him Gavin reached up and his fingers wandered over his collar now. Michael couldn't help but tense again because there was a reason why Gavin's collar was bright red. The explosion would be bigger, meant to kill him if he dared to go against the rules. Because a free category red demon was worse than a dead one, and fuck, Michael wasn't even sure if Ray could help Gavin in that case. He had never seen a cuff explode close by and what damage it would cause, but Ray was just upstairs. Maybe he should call him down, save them the few extra seconds, but then Gavin noticed his hesitation.

He just smiled at him.

"Put a shield around me just in case," he told him and Michael could see how he dug his finger into the back of his collar.

"Wait, we should-"

"I'm so tired of waiting, Michael," Gavin said. "I'm tired of this collar and I'm tired of being trapped, alright?"

Michael knew that. Michael knew that Gavin had never been free, not even in Yevetal during his childhood. That he had been groomed and prepared to be thrown in the Nether, that there were artistic lines etched into his back to lure out demons. And even after all that was done, Pandora had locked him away and cuffed him. Too dangerous to be out in the world.

"Alright."

Gavin closed his eyes and pulled quickly but his hand slipped off, his first attempt clumsy. Michael jumped and for a second he was sure that Gavin's collar wasn't unlocked, that maybe he had misunderstood Pollux, and he reached out to stop Gavin when Gavin tried again.

This time the lever moved and the collar unlocked. It started to slip from his shoulder but Gavin caught it before it could drop into his lap and he opened his eyes, staring shocked down at it. As if he hadn't expected this to happen in the slightest and now didn't know what to do about this.

Michael didn't either; he stared at the collar in Gavin's hands and was a bit surprised by how flexible it looked. Somehow he hadn't expected that, and he reached out to touch it. The inside was padded, which probably made sense, and suddenly Gavin let the thing go as if he had been burned.

Michael kept it from hitting the floor but quickly pulled it away from Gavin, who was pushing himself into the couch to get away.

"And you were laughing about my tan line," Michael said, and now Gavin's eyes darted towards him.

They were wide and shocked and he saw too many emotions in there. Gavin was overwhelmed, which was fair enough, and then he started to laugh. There was something hysterical in it as he reached up again, pressing his fingers in previously hidden skin, and laughed even harder.

It alerted Geoff who stepped in, the coffee in his hand and actually took a moment to notice the difference. Then his face grew soft and he quickly put the mug down.

"Holy shit, buddy."

Gavin laughed once more, but now it came nearly out like a sob.

It made Michael smile and he quickly put the collar down, didn't want to see it anymore, and by then Geoff was already in front of them. He took a hold on Gavin's arms and pulled him up to crush him against his chest.

Gavin quickly buried his face there, his whole body shaking but that was fine. Geoff held him so tightly and was whispering something into his hair that Michael couldn't quite understand. He would be able to when he stood and joined in on the embrace, and he was all for it, when he noticed the movement in the corner of his eye.

There was nothing, just a corner of the room, and for a second he was sure it had just been a reflection on the TV screen or something, but of course not. No, the longer he watched, the deeper he watched he noticed the shadow. The shadow was crawling up the walls to nestle against the ceiling and Michael clawed at the armrests to not freak out.

It wasn't real, or rather it was real somewhere but not here. Still, he couldn't turn his back to it because he wasn't sure, okay? He wasn't sure because the shadows he usually saw were human like, figures he nearly recognized but this here? This here wasn't a human.

This here was a bad omen.

"Everything alright?" Ray asked him and Michael flinched. He had been a thousand miles away, standing next to the front door and looking out over the forest. He had watched Gavin and Ryan disappear there, going for a walk for the first time since they got together, and something about that had made his heart heavy. Then the shadow had been back, waiting behind him, and he had frozen right here when he had noticed the reflection.

Somehow it made sense in his mind that he shouldn't leave it out of his sight, that he had to keep watch because nobody else could and they were in danger. Everything in him screamed for them to get moving, to run and hide, but that was stupid. It was fucking stupid because it was just a fucking shadow. He had grown out of that fear in the first year or two since contracting Triella. Just because his brain was acting up again, didn't mean he should freak everyone out.

Now the shadow was gone, replaced with Ray's face, and Michael wasn't even sure how he hadn't seen the other before.

"Yeah," he answered a little belatedly, and Ray frowned. "Just a long day, is all."

Ray hummed as if he didn't believe him, but he gave him the benefit of the doubt.

"You think those two will bang in the forest?" he asked instead, and Michael was startled into a laugh. He turned around, away from the strange shadow in the reflection.

"Thanks for that picture in my head."

"I heard that sex in a forest is not advised. Too many... foreign things that could land in places where they don't belong."

"Alright, that doesn't help."

Ray grinned ,but there was something else, a spark in his eyes.

"I was dreaming of this," he said next, and when Michael looked at him with big eyes, he quickly added, "not about Gavin and Ryan in- I mean, you know how I found out about the two of them and-" He stopped himself, shaking his head. "Nevermind that. I meant seeing you just walk out there without the cuffs. You guys being free."

"Yeah... me too."

"When I left..." Ray trailed off, took a moment to collect himself, and then tried again, "I felt horrible. I was allowed to go and had to leave you guys behind in this prison."

"Ray, Pandora was destroying you."

"Just like its doing with Jack. Just like its doing with you." Ray looked at him, really looked at him and Michael wasn't sure what the other saw. He didn't like it though and quickly lowered his gaze.

"It'll change now," he said just to end this topic and Ray sighed.

"I guess." Ray still looked worried and Michael concentrated back on the situation at hand.

"How's it going... upstairs?"

"Alright." Ray shrugged. "We're giving him a break, but he doesn't really need it. He's not truly hurt, I made sure of it but he's freaked out. It's rather a break for us."

He nodded towards the forest. "Not that we could've stopped Ryan once he found out he could just take off the collar. You should've seen his face!"

"Saw Gavin's, so it's all good."

Huffing, Ray waved him away from the entrance. "Come on. Sit down with us in the kitchen and I’ll tell you what we got by now."

To his surprise they found both Geoff and Jack in the kitchen, and he couldn't tell when Jack had come downstairs. She must have walked past him but he hadn't noticed. Now as he checked on his watch he realized that it was a lot later than he had expected. Fuck, there was at least half an hour missing where he- what? Had just stared outside, watching the reflection of something that wasn't even there?

The thought made him shiver and the pounding ache behind his eyes returned. Shit, he really wanted a drink, but that would be his downfall. He didn't want to fucking go around seeing this shit while drunk.

"Coffee?" Geoff offered, and that was nearly as good. He took his mug with a thanks and sat down at the table.

Jack was just finishing her cigarette. Her hand was shaking and she was pale, and not for the first time it unsettled Michael to think that she was up there together with Ryan and Ray. A part of him wanted to protect her each time he saw her face twist in pain when she moved her hands and whenever bad things happened. She was just too good to him and he feared over time that would be worn away.

Jack would smack him across the back of his head if she found out he thought like that though.

"At first Layor pretended not to know about Jeremy," Ray began as if that wasn't a topic that needed a moment to ease into. "But that was stupid of course, and we helped him remember."

Ray said it casually, but he wasn't sitting down with them. He was leaning against the kitchen counter and where Gavin had jerked his leg Ray was playing with the zipper of his hoodie, flicking it without really noticing, and the little metal piece caught the sunlight, throwing a reflection against the wall.

"Once he found out that we knew that Pandora had taken Jeremy, he became more eager to talk."

"He says he doesn't know where Jeremy is being kept," Jack threw in. "Then went on about the barracks we've been talking about, Michael. That Jeremy is in one of them just like we thought, but Layor says he doesn't know which one. According to him there are a dozen."

"Too many to look into," Geoff said. "Layor is playing on time. He knows Pandora will notice him missing by tomorrow morning and will send someone here. All he has to do is hold his tongue until then."

"He will break before that." The reflection sped up after Ray said that, his fingers doubling their efforts. Michael had to force himself to stay seated and not bat his hand away. Something about the point of light unnerved him greatly and made him jumpy. Fuck, he was losing his damn mind.

"He will," Jack agreed. If that wasn't ominous, Michael didn't know what was.

Reaching up, he pressed his hand against his forehead, pushing against it as if that would keep the headache at bay. The other's continued to talk and in the corner of his eye, he saw Jack share her cigarettes with Geoff and shit, the smell of smoke didn't help. It burned in his eyes and head and reminded him of dead worlds. Of worlds that had gone up in flames, where he had walked the streets alone with nothing there anymore besides husks of buildings. A civilization that had been too familiar, buildings and street corners he nearly recognized and there had been this trail. The trail he had followed through all those stories. Stardust in the air as it grew darker and darker around and sometimes he feared the worlds would get swallowed up with him in it. When the shadows had grown larger and had waited behind every corner, watching him.

And he had grown familiar with them, too familiar it seemed, because now he could see them even here. Here where it didn't make any sense because this wasn't a doomed world, this was his world and things were alright. Things were good and the world wasn't going up in flames.

Michael jumped when a hand laid on his shoulder, and when he lifted his head everyone was staring at him. Even Gavin and Ryan, and what the fuck, when had they come back?

"You alright?" Geoff next to him asked.

"I-" Michael began, but then he nearly laughed. Fuck no, he wasn't.

Ray still stood by the kitchen counter, flicking the zipper, but there was no reflection anymore. No, the sun had moved on and Michael felt how his throat grew dry.

"Did I fall asleep?" he asked, and Geoff frowned at him. His grip tightened and Michael felt Triella fade. Geoff was canceling his gift to keep him awake, and before Michael had always been glad for that. Who knew how much earlier he would've slipped away in his sleep if it hadn’t been for Geoff? But now it straight up terrified him, because he needed Triella. He needed Triella to protect himself and he bolted from his chair to escape Geoff's hand.

He bumped into Ryan who steadied him easily and threw him such a concerned look that it made Michael's heart ache. Whatever bad blood had been between them before was long forgotten, and now Ryan let him go, scared to hurt him.

"You were talking in your sleep," he told him before frowning.

"No," Gavin said instead, and he was staring at him all weird. "Michael, you were singing. Where did you learn that lullaby?"

Michael paled. Which lullaby?

He was breathing too hard and they were all starring at him, starring out of too many eyes and fuck. In that moment he wanted to run, to be anywhere but here. The sun was setting and that meant darkness was coming, leaving only an island of light in the kitchen. 

"Alright, alright. Let's all calm down," Jack said. Wonderful, wonderful Jack, and Michael felt how it defused the situation. They had more important things to worry about and nobody had to know how Michael's heart was beating too fast and his palms were sweaty.

Ryan's hand was still hovering over his back, not quite touching but there for support. Michael would love to throw him a thankful smile, but that would mean turning his head and seeing Gavin. Gavin who was still staring at him, and Michael wasn't sure how to face him yet.

"We can take the cars, stay in them," Geoff went on, picking up a conversation that Michael had missed. "If we stay on the move it's harder for Pandora to find us."

"If we want to save Jeremy we gotta do it quickly, though. Once they find Layor he will tell them that we know about Jeremy and then they'll make sure that we won't reach him."

"Before we can reach him, we have to know where he is," Ryan added. "I'm going back upstairs."

He left the kitchen, and Michael already missed the contact. Ray followed him, and when he passed Michael his hand brushed against his for a moment. That helped and Michael dared to take a breath.

He was debating if he should also head upstairs, see if he could help, but the thought only turned his stomach. He had never before hurt someone just for the sake of hurting them. Thankfully Jack made the choice for him.

"You, dumbass, go to bed. You’re no use to us dragging yourself around like you are," she pointed out. Michael was nearly glad for that but he couldn’t help but argue anyway.

"There's still shit to do."

"Jack's right." Geoff got up and didn't hesitate to touch him again even though Michael jumped. Fuck, he really had to calm the fuck down because he was not only freaking himself out, but everyone else as well. Gavin had stepped away from him now but was still watching, unsure, attentive. That fucking lullaby.

"We can even snuggle," Geoff offered, and that certainly ripped Michael out of his thoughts.

"What?"

"Just to make sure you don’t take the nap of the millennium again."

That made Michael huff and he appreciated the thought, really. It wouldn't even be the first time he had fallen asleep only to wake up next to Geoff because Geoff was worrying and hovering close. If Geoff would nullify Triella Michael wouldn't get pulled under, but he also wouldn't be able to use her shields. Right now that scared him more, because a part of him felt haunted, like something was fucking watching him constantly. Lurking in the shadows and just waiting for the right time.

When the time would come Michael had to be ready and his only line of defense against it was Triella. No gun or knife would help against what lurked in the shadows.

"I'm fine."

"Some of us should sleep tonight," Jack just went on, not fooled in the slightest by his attempts. "If we want to stay on the move, someone has to drive constantly. Ray and Gavin can't, so we have to fill in and I don't think Ryan will sleep much tonight. You and Geoff lay down, so that you are well rested for tomorrow."

"If we don't save Jeremy tomorrow we won't save him at all," Michael said.

"If we don't know where they’re keeping Jeremy we won't do shit," Jack just shot back. "Also that doesn't change things. You are exhausted and no matter what happens tomorrow, we will need your shields. Can't have you fucking napping when we're under attack."

Michael pulled a face. She was right but he didn't want to admit that. He had started this whole shitshow and he wanted to see it through. Fact was though, that he was fucking exhausted. That was hard to believe after how long he had been asleep, but he hadn't rested during that. No, he had traveled and explored and searched for a way back.

The few hours of true sleep last night hadn't covered that.

"Fine," he grunted and shook Geoff's hand from his shoulder. "But I can fucking sleep alone. I'm not a toddler."

"Michae-"

"I'm fine."

Nobody believed him, it was clear in their faces, but he didn't care. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he waited but he wouldn't back down. He needed some time alone, a moment to catch his breath. He needed Triella in case whatever waited for him was growing tired of just watching.

"Geoff can go lie down as well, you look like shit warmed over, dude. But he can do it in his own bed."

"What if you slip away again?" Gavin asked, and Michael pressed his lips together.

"I won't."

"Can you be sure of that?"

"Fuck no, I can't. But I got back last time, didn't I?" That was an awful argument, but it was the only thing he could think of. He saw how Geoff and Jack shared a glance but before either of them could reply, he already turned around.

Walking up the stairs, he half expected someone to call him back or even follow him. Neither happened and he reached his room without anyone stopping him. Closing the door behind him felt wonderful, which was fucking hysterical considering that just yesterday he had fought tooth and nail to get out of here.

A lot of shit had happened since then, and he let himself fall into his bed. For a second there was fear, the same fear as back when he had woken up just a few hours ago. The simple fact that he might not wake up here, now that the veil between reality and dream was gone for him; it would be so easy to look too deep.

He couldn't go forever without sleep though and even though a part of him was scared, it felt distant. Worn out by exhaustion and he turned onto his back, staring at the ceiling.

Upstairs Ray and Ryan were torturing a man, and that was another hysterical thought. They would find out where Jeremy was and then they would try to get him out of Pandora's grip. Or they wouldn't get a location, and then what?

Well, at least they would be able to flee, to hopefully start somewhere new. His wish could help with that. This one wish Pollux had promised him, and a part of Michael realized that things could be easy.

He could wish for Jeremy to be here, to just plop into existence in the kitchen and then flee. He didn't even doubt that this would work, but it felt wrong. It felt wrong because he had seen those dark lines on Pollux's skin.

Pollux had to pay for the wish, not Michael, and he didn't like that. It would hurt Pollux and Pollux had helped him. Also this wish was something important, something precious. There was a better use for it; it could save their damn asses in case they got found by Pandora.

No, it was too early to use his wish.

Laying his arm across his eyes, he blocked out the remaining daylight and tried to calm down. He didn't hear Ray or Ryan above him, but his mind tried to play tricks, pretended to hear grunts and cries of pain. He didn't think that was the case though.

Before he could ponder about itt he fell asleep.

It was a deep sleep, a dark sleep, and that was good. That meant he didn't dream, and he could basically feel how heavy his body grew. Like sinking through his mattress, as if his bones weighed a ton, and everything around fell away. The house, and what was happening above. The worry over Jeremy and the urgency of his rescue. It could all wait until tomorrow.

When Michael began to dream he barely noticed. It was an easy transition; first there was nothing and then there were stars. They weren't small like in his world but bigger, worryingly so. They reminded him of those apocalypse movies when a meteorite was about to crash into the earth in the next six weeks.

It didn't take six weeks though, as he watched the first stars began to crash down and that jerked him into a sitting position. It wasn't yet enough to wake him but he was alarmed, he knew he could wake up if he wanted to. His body felt distant but still there but right now he was too fascinated.

The star went past him, as big and as bright as the first snow of the season. It wouldn’t end any worlds with its impact but it still made Michael's heart heavy. Once he looked around he knew why.

The ground beneath him was covered in stardust; it was sticking to his hands and in his hair, so fine that it would suffocate the life out of it all. Yeah, this here was a dead world. He had seen enough of them to know that.

He wasn't alone here though. As he looked around he saw two figures lying in the dust as if it was sand, watching as the stars rained down. One of them he recognized instantly, it was Pollux and he had yet to notice Michael. Next to him was Geoff, not his but another, and that was a bit surprising. Hadn't Pollux said that nobody besides Michael could see him? When had that changed?

Standing up Michael wanted to walk over, to ask Pollux exactly that, but once he moved, something turned towards him. It wasn't Pollux or Geoff, it wasn't anything Michael could see but he knew it was there. Something was watching him out of a thousand eyes and it didn't like what they saw. No, they wanted him gone.

Michael was jerked back into his body when he realized that he couldn't breathe. Something heavy was sitting on his chest, making it impossible to suck in a breath and he startled awake.

His room was dark in front of him now that night had fallen but still he should've been able to see if someone was with him in his room. There was no one but he still couldn't breathe. Lifting his arms he tried to shove whatever was on his chest away but his arms wouldn't move.

Shadows, he realized. There was a pitch black shadow pooling on his chest, spilling down to his arms and keeping them pushed down. The shadow was impossibly strong, strong enough that Michael couldn't move a single finger and cold panic flooded him. He recognized the shadow, he had seen him lingering around the worlds, had seen them watching him through reflections but this was the first time they had an actual form, something that could touch and hurt him.

Eyes opened in the shadow then, silver and endless. If Michael had any air in his lungs he would've screamed.

Triella took over, he felt her for a second before her shield pushed the shadow from his chest, dispersed it until nothing was left, and Michael could take a breath. He hit the floor hard as he rolled off the bed but that was fine as long as he could get away. His back hit his wardrobe and gasping for breath he stared back to the bed.

There was nothing. Of course there was nothing but he could still feel the pressure once he pushed his hand against his chest.

Something had been there, right?

And already he wasn't sure anymore, couldn't tell because his dreams were fucked up but this had been the first time something had hurt him. The first time Triella had reacted, and he could feel her in the back of his head. She was lingering, attentive, alerted. That wasn't normal, she didn't just do that, and Michael's heart was beating so hard in his chest that it hurt.

"Who's there?" he whispered. Licking his lips, he pulled himself together and stood. He was in a shield, nothing could harm him anymore, and he spoke louder, "Mahr? Is that you?"

No answer but now his eyes scanned the corners, the dark shadows lingering there. Triella lent him her eyesight but even then he couldn't make out any figures.

"Did Pollux send you?"

No, he didn't think so. Pollux had been busy with something, Michael had seen him in that dying world, but Pollux hadn't seen him. Had Michael interrupted something? Had he witnessed something he shouldn't have? Or was it his mere existence that angered the demon?

Triella noticed it first, the unrelenting shadow beneath his bed and Michael balled his sweaty hands. He didn't want Mahr to notice them shaking.

"Is that all you are?" he asked instead and stepped closer. "Just a monster beneath the bed?"

Something that would fade with a ray of light, that would get locked out by a warm blanket in the dead of night. Oh, but that wasn't what had happened, right? Because for a child the monster underneath the bed was always larger-than-life.

"You caught him when he was scared and alone, that's how monsters like you always do it. Pollux didn't have a chance, but I'm not him. I'm not scared of you."

Michael switched the light on and the shadow was gone. This time he didn't doubt that it had been there though. Of course not. Staying here would mean a confrontation and Mahr didn't like to face the truth, did they?

Huffing, he rubbed his face. Fuck, how late was it anyway? After waking up like that he felt disoriented, but he found his phone and grimaced. Shortly after 3 in the morning, so he had at least gotten some sleep but he wasn't about to lay back down.

No way, not after what had just happened.

Getting dressed, he stepped out of his room and walked down the hall. It was dark, just like yesterday after he had woken up. It was also quiet and that left him with a strange déjà vu feeling but that was stupid. Of course everyone else would be in bed, it was the middle of the night.

That was the reason why nobody was around. He hadn't slept for too long, for weeks or months or years. They were still here, not long gone. Either caught by Pandora or not and Jeremy? Oh, Jeremy would be lost then.

There was a movement in the shadows behind him but Michael didn't turn around. He wasn't here to play Mahr's games, but he wasn't stupid enough to leave himself defenseless. Triella was still alert and kept a steady shield around him.

When he reached the kitchen it smelled like stale smoke and he quickly opened a window to let fresh air in as he was about to get some water. As he reached for a glass the moonlight eyes focused on him in the reflection, right above his shoulders and tainted with malice.

The glass shattered in the sink as Michael let it go and spun around. This time Mahr wasn't hiding underneath the bed. They were right in front of him, an impenetrable shadow reaching from the ceiling to the floor and filling the kitchen. It was eating away the light the longer Michael stared, leaving him behind with nothing.

For a while that was all his world had become. Darkness and his own breath, the too fast beat of his heart in his chest, and he was pressing himself against the kitchen counter. His mouth was dry with horror and then the eyes returned. Dozen of them, filled with moonlight and Michael slipped down, slipped onto the cold floor and covered there.

_ I thought you weren't scared, Dreamwalker. _

Michael couldn't answer. He just stared into the heart of the darkness and the only thing keeping him rooted to reality was the counter in his back. Then he realized that the darkness couldn't get to him. It was pressing relentlessly against his shield but couldn't get through. Triella was keeping them out, and as much as Mahr tried to envelop them, it wouldn't be enough.

"Go away," Michael said. His voice was shaking but he forced himself to calm down. "This isn't your world to be in."

Mahr disappeared as quickly as they had appeared. Michael still didn't move. It could be a trick and somewhere Mahr was ready to strike whenever Michael lowered his guard. The light was back now but there were still shadows. There, beneath the table and under each chair. A perfect hiding space for the Nachtalb.

What finally made him calm down was Triella. He could sense how she relaxed, still there but not as alerted as before. Mahr must have left then.

Still he didn't move. He stayed cowering on the floor because he didn't trust his legs to carry him. He didn't trust his own damn shadow.

"Fucking Christ," he whispered to himself and let his head drop against the counter.

The veil was gone, that fucking veil that separated a normal human from their dreams, and now he had looked too deep. Fuck, he had no idea what he had been pulled into.

There were steps hurrying down the stairs, unsettled and urgent in the middle of the night. Had he made any noises? He didn't think so, but the past few minutes were a blur and he wasn't sure. At least it made him stand, because he didn't want to get found like this. It would be too hard to explain that he was scared of some shadow that surely none of the others could see.

The steps went past the kitchen and out the front door, and dumbfounded Michael just stood there and listened.

Okay, he hadn't expected that.

Turning around, he washed his face first because he felt like a mess and probably looked like one as well. All the while he made absolutely sure not to look for a reflection in the glass shards in the sink. When he felt a bit more alive he left the kitchen and only then he wondered if that maybe had been Layor. Fuck, he hadn't thought about that possibility, but now it made sense.

If somehow that guy got out and was on the way back to Pandora they had to fucking move! Had they taken away his car keys? Michael hadn't heard Layor's car start but he also hadn't paid attention to it.

Michael threw the door open and hurried outside. Small stones dug into his bare feet but Layor's car was still right where it belonged.

He did however scare the everloving shit out of Ray by the way the other jumped.

"Jesus Christ, Michael," he gasped, hand pressed against his chest not unlike Michael had done a couple minutes ago.

"I thought it was Layor," he defended himself, and Ray laughed.

"No. No, it's just me."

Michael frowned. He wasn't the only one out here in bare feet and Ray was only wearing a shirt and boxers. He also looked fucking pale, nearly glowing in the darkness around them.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah," Ray answered, too fast. He noticed himself and took a deep breath. "Fuck, alright. Maybe not a-okay or something. But fine. I'm not hurt, just need a minute. Just some fresh air."

Michael walked closer, away from the path and now the grass was tickling his feet. The hoarfrost felt cold but not uncomfortable. When he took Ray's arm, the other leaned into it, and that was good. The fear that he himself had slept for too long had passed but now the memory nearly turned his stomach. Every contact and every reminder that he wasn't alone helped.

They sat down on one of the benches around the house, something that wouldn't be possible before with Michael locked inside, but he had often seen Geoff, Jack, or Ray sit outside here, talking.

It was nice out here with the fresh air and the drop of temperature. It helped Michael calm his heart down as long as he kept his eyes on the ground in front of him and not on the endless dark woods around.

"Just had a bad dream, silly as that sounds," Ray said after a while.

"You really think I'd judge you for being freaked out by nightmares?"

"Fair enough." Ray ran a hand through his hair, clearly distressed, and Michael couldn't help but frown. It was unusual to see the other so vulnerable. He could remember a few instances right before Ray had run away, when Pandora had worked him to the ground. Thinking back though - that had probably been stress rather than anything else. 

This right here scared him a little and another horrible thought came to him. That this was somehow Mahr's doing, that they hadn't only appeared to him but also to Ray. Maybe to everyone in this house, and that was thanks to him. He had brought something out of his dream that now wouldn't leave.

"Don't look at me like that," Ray said, and Michael realized he was staring. By now there was still a bit color in Ray's face.

"Sorry, it's just..."

"I woke up in my room, that's what freaked me out. That paired with the stupid dream..." He trailed off and looked down to play with the edge of his shirt. "For a moment I thought I was back here. That I had never left and I was trapped again. Just... just had to make sure I could still leave."

Michael felt himself relax and couldn't help but smile. "You're free to go. We're all free to go."

"Yeah."

For a while they sat there in a comfortable silence and Michael even dared to look up and into the valley of shadows between the trees. Triella had sunken down into the back of his mind and he trusted her instincts. Mahr wasn't here anymore. Still, the woods appeared eerie at this time of the night, which probably had something to do with too many horror films. The barely there movements of the trees against the night sky still made him shiver. It made stars blink in and out of existence, and he was mesmerized by it.

Back in his dream the stars had appeared bigger and they had fallen like snow. Who had been this Geoff he had seen next to Pollux? Why were they resting in a dying world?

"Why are you awake?" Ray asked and Michael nearly started to laugh.

"Also a bad dream."

"Were you gone again?"

At first Michael wanted to deny it, didn't want the others to worry about him anymore than they already did, but what good would that do? So he nodded.

"I wish I could stop that." Ray sighed and put a comforting hand on his arm before he froze. Michael turned to him to find him staring intently at his chest.

"What?"

"You were hurt." He placed his hand right above Michael's heart where Mahr had been sitting when he woke up. With all that had happened after that Michael had nearly forgotten about the pressure there and he also hadn't bothered to check what was probably a small bruise. Now it faded thanks to Ray's touch, but that didn't get rid of the worrisome look he was getting from Ray.

"Your body stays here when you dream, so how did it get hurt?"

"Brought something with me. They weren't very fond of the idea of me watching them." He laughed awkwardly as if this was all a big joke and tried not to notice Ray's horrified look.

"Jesus Christ, Michael."

"It's fine! I got rid of it."

"It's _not_ fine."

No probably not. Actually it was terrifying but he tried not to think too much about it. There wasn't anything he could do after all so making light of the situation was at least something. Freaking out wouldn't help him and Triella was still on his side. With Triella nothing could really happen to him.

"I wish I could stop it," Ray said again and let his hand drop into his lap.

It sobered Michael up, because he wished so as well. He really did.

"We got through to Layor a couple hours ago," Ray continued and as sudden as the change of topic was, Michael welcomed it. That was at least a predicament he could do something about, something that not only he could see. Being not alone with a problem took the edge off it.

"What did you find out?"

"Nothing good. Jack actually didn't want to let you know until you and Geoff woke up, but I don't think you'll find any more sleep tonight anyway." Ray sighed. "According to Layor Jeremy is already through the barracks."

Michael tensed. "Wait... so they brought him to the portal?"

"I fear so. They didn't do a lot of testing, after all they considered Jeremy a traitor, so he either made it or... not. They just threw him in; that way they either got a new demon or got rid of a problem."

"Fuck," Michael whispered. That was the fucking worst case scenario. Fuck, if Jeremy was already through then... then he had been too late. He hadn't found Pollux fast enough, he hadn't found his way back and now Jeremy was lost.

"I'm sorry," Ray told him and that was nice and all but it didn't mean much. It wasn't Ray's fault, it was fucking Michael's. He had seen Jeremy get taken and he had spent so much time doing shit all. Stumbling around like an idiot because he just couldn't wake up.

"Michael, this isn't the end." Ray put his hand on top of Michael's and squeezed. "We're still free, you freed us all."

"So Jeremy was just a fucking casuality then?" Michael spat.

"That's not what I'm saying. We still have a chance, even if Jeremy went through the portal he isn't lost. We all went through the portal and we're still here."

Ray's eyes were dark, intense as they bore into Michael's. "If he went through the portal he might still be out there. I don't know him as well as you, but he was working for Pandora before, right? He was one of their hunters just like you and Ryan were. That means he could make it, Michael. He could get back out, and that means he's still there."

Michael bit down on his lip and sure, that made sense and all but... 

"Why do you care?" he couldn't help but ask. He didn't want it to come out this rough, nearly accusing, but he was still curious. Ray and Jeremy had known each other for a day if at all, and he couldn't even remember if the two of them had properly talked during that. Ray should tell him to give up, to let Jeremy be where he was because he was unreachable and it was too damn dangerous and stupid to attempt something like rescuing him. Maybe a part of Michael nearly hoped Ray would tell him just that.

"Jeremy matters to you," Ray just said but let go of Michael's hand. "He helped you guys while he was here, that's what Ryan told me. He also kept my secret for as long as he could, so I hold no ill will against Jeremy."

Michael huffed a laugh, because that was surprisingly honest from Ray. It also wasn't everything, and he knew Ray well enough to be able to tell. Ray hated Pandora, maybe more so than all of them combined. He had been the one who had moved around the most, who had seen the damage caused and had worked his hardest to keep the casualties low.

Pandora had used him until it had nearly killed him, and even after Ray had been able to escape, it was with the bitter knowledge that he had left behind everyone else in that nightmare.

Yeah, Ray hated Pandora and he would do everything to take even a little revenge.

"It's too dangerous to go after Jeremy, that's what you should tell me," Michael said, and now it was Ray’s turn to smile.

"Why? What could they possibly do against all of us? You have your shields, Michael, so they can't reach us, and even if there's still me. Just imagine us two storming Pandora, who could possibly stop us?"

"A locked door," Michael offered, and a bit perplexed, Ray stared at him before he started to laugh.

"You're right. But hey, that's why we have the others, don't we? I never saw Ryan or Gavin go all out, but can you imagine what that would be like? Pandora doesn't stand a chance."

That was too easy, too naive of a thought _, but it still made him smile. Sitting out here in the middle of the night with the chill slowly settling into his limbs it was a nice thought. Just walking in there and snatching Jeremy away while Pandora was watching._

"I'd pay to see their faces."

"That's the spirit!" Ray jostled him with his shoulder but grew sober too quick, something painful in his eyes. "I got one more question before I really wanna get back inside because I didn't think this through and sitting here in just my boxers feels weird."

"Your own fault."

"What about Lindsay?"

_ Lindsay . _ Oh God, he hadn't thought about her with everything happening around and with Ray watching him so knowingly he nearly blushed.

"What about her?" It came out too defensively, too quick but Ray didn't mention it.

"Is she also free?" he asked instead and Michael froze. The guilt crashed into him just a second later because he hadn't considered her. Back when he had finally found Pollux, when he had seen a way to come back and to fix this whole mess that nobody had even known about... Lindsay hadn't been on his mind. This had been  _his_ problem,  _this team's _ problem and so when he had made his wish, when he had freed them all, he hadn't considered Lindsay.

Lindsay who was in the fucking same boat as them, who had also met Jeremy and fuck, she would be all for it. Instead she was now still trapped even though he had the choice, he could've included her in the wish but he-

Ray look as pained as Michael felt. "Shit, sorry."

As if it was his fault!

"I just thought her gift would be useful and-"

"I fucked up," Michael whispered and then nearly laughed. Fucked up? That didn't even begin to describe what he had done. He could've changed Lindsay's life, he could-

"Didn't you say you still had one wish left? Like with a genie?" Ray offered.

"I wanted to keep that for an emergency an-"

"Let's just safely make it out with Jeremy and then you can free her! It's just more initiative to not fuck up in our little rescue mission!" 

Ray tried to cheer him up, Michael knew that but it did nothing for him. It wasn't as easy, nothing was anymore and the guilt still clawed at the back of Michael's throat. He couldn't believe that he hadn't thought about Lindsay, but there had been so many things on his mind, so much shit was happening and he had just been so glad to finally find Pollux...

"Also by the way you talk about Pollux I'm sure he would grant you that wish anyway," Ray went on, desperate to fix the damage he had caused with such a simple question. "Like, you two are best buddies, right? It's nothing big for Pollux, just a snap of his fingers!"

Thinking back to the dark lines that had been carved into Pollux' skin, Michael wasn't too sure if that was the case but that was an option. He didn't think Pollux would mind granting that wish but Mahr was a different case, and Michael wasn't sure which of the two of them called the shots.

"Alright," he ended up saying, because right now it had to be. They didn't have the time to focus on Lindsay now, he didn't have the time to beat himself up over his own mistake, no matter how fucking stupid it had been.

Lindsay would still be there when this would all be over and thinking about what they had planned she was safer where she was right now.

Next to him Ray shivered and Michael also felt the chill settle in. The day had just begun and he probably wasn't awake for more than an hour, but he already felt exhausted mentally. It hadn't been his best morning for sure, but he better get used to it because he didn't think he could change a thing about it. As long as he couldn't control what he was dreaming about he would start to slip off once he fell asleep.

It left him with the age long question. What was going to happen to him?

He had already lost four months and had slipped between the cracks of the world. Pollux had helped him the last time, but it was clear now that Mahr wasn't quite fond of him being there. No, Mahr wanted him gone.

Now it was him who shivered, and Ray noticed.

"Lets get inside. We should be on the road at dawn, kinda want to wear some jeans for that."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That was his role; he was meant to protect.

Chapter 4

Michael didn't know what he expected when he entered the meeting room they kept Layor in, but not that. Somehow Layor looked better now than before and considering that well... they had tortured him, that was certainly something. It was thanks to Ray of course, Ray who had kept him together, who had healed every scratch and wound when he had seen fit, and now Layor was probably healthier than ever.

It was his eyes though that unnerved Michael as he stood next to the table. Whatever they had done to Layor, it hadn't been good. They had broken him in their efforts to get information. Michael didn't want to feel pity for the man; he was nonetheless disturbed that his family had the capacity to hurt another in such a way.

He saw it in his reaction to Ray as he stepped in alongside him; Layor's eyes had widened, haunted look to them as he leaned as far back as he could in his chair. He was still bound to it but when Michael looked closer, he could tell that Layor had worked on them. Had tried to free himself, but hadn't managed to.

Fuck, he needed some coffee first but once he turned around Geoff appeared in the doorway. He hadn't slept much either and looked the part.

"When exactly was Jeremy brought to the portal?" he asked now, and both Ray and Michael hung back. Geoff had taken over now, and that was fine by them. At least Geoff actually knew where the portal was located and could ask specific questions. Sure, all of them had been there at some point, but the time right before and after going into the Nether had been confusing to say the least.

Geoff, on the other hand, was called there a couple of times in case they needed a new demon exorcised.

"I'm not really sure, that's hardly my department," Layor said, voice rough. "Probably last week? Maybe two weeks? Pretty recently. Was some kind of big scandal to have one of our agents work together with demons."

He pulled such a disgusted face that Michael's last ounce of pity vanished. Yeah, Layor was one of those people who saw them as nothing but animals, uncontrollable and sans humanity.

“Was he already sent thro-”

There was a knock on the door before Jack stepped in. Michael turned away from her to see Layor jerk back in his chair. He was desperately trying to get away from her, in a reaction far more fearful than when he had seen Ray.

If Jack noticed, she didn't react to it. Without a word she stepped behind Layor to put a collar around his neck. It was either Gavins’ or Ryans’ and it wasn't dangerous anymore but Layor didn't know that. The man was thrashing around in his chair, trying to keep Jack in sight before freezing. It took just a moment before a furious rage clouded his face as he began to scream, "I'm not a dog! You take that off right now, you bitch!"

Jack did no such thing, and even though Michael would've gladly pointed out the irony of Layor's words, he just followed when she beckoned them outside.

"What was that for?" Geoff asked her as he closed the door behind them.

"Got the idea last night and just wanted to see his face," Jack admitted. "Figured it would be good if he got a feel of it. Builds character and all that jazz."

"There's nothing to build about this character," Ray muttered, and Jack threw him a smile.

"We packed everything and can go whenever," she told them before nodding to the now closed door. "What about him?"

"What about Layor?" Geoff asked, and Michael had also tensed up. Jack didn't answer right away, but the implications were there.

"Listen Geoff, the way I see it, Pandora will notice him missing pretty damn soon. Like in a few hours. Then they will check on his last location, which is right here, and once they walk in this room, Layor will tell them what he told us. One call from Pandora and the security around the portal will double and we won't have any chance to get Jeremy. Leaving this guy alive is a liability."

"I know," Geoff admitted, his shoulder slumping in defeat. He didn't like it and Michael didn't either but Jack was right. It was Layor or them. Layor or Jeremy.

When nobody said anything, Jack just nodded to herself and went to open the door towards Layor. It was Ray who stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"I still need a gun," he told her. "And not a stupid vanilla gun, I want a Jack special one."

"That can be arranged."

But Ray still didn't let go, didn't let her pass through the door.

"I can... I can take care of this in the meantime," he finally said.

"Ray-"

"We don't have too much time to lose. Gotta share the work and stuff." Ray shrugged as if that wasn't a big thing, as if he hadn't casually offered to take care of Layor for them and God, Michael also didn't want to see Jack go in there but that wasn't a fucking solution.

He expected those two to argue but to his surprise Jack just deflated and let her arm sink. "Ray, if you're sure I ca-"

"I'm sure," he interrupted her, and Jack looked glad for that.

So Michael found himself following her downstairs, as long as it meant getting away from whatever was going to happen upstairs. Geoff had stayed behind with Ray, but just the thought made Michael's skin crawl and he hated being so squeamish, but he couldn't shake it off.

Jack unlocked one of the unused rooms and pushed the door open and when Michael saw the boxes of weapons inside, his uneasiness faded a little. To imagine Jack coming in here day after day and working away on the sheer amount of guns in here was disgusting.

She usually kept that to herself and sure, Michael hadn't been around the last few months, but he hadn't known that it had grown so bad.

"They expected you to enchant all of those?" he asked and stared at the dozen boxes. How many guns were in each? Enough for a small army? Fuck, he didn't know but it made him sick.

"They wanted to make sure that they get enough out of me and Alastair before I'm all used up." She went to open one of the boxes but had problems with getting her fingers underneath the latch. Michael quickly stepped forward and did it for her, but he kept his concern to himself.

How far did the numbness reach already? There was no skin that wasn’t currently covered on Jack's arms. Her long gloves went beneath the sleeves of her shirt and still Michael couldn't help but stare. If it reached her chest-

"We have all those weapons," Jack said, jerking him from his thoughts, "but no ammo besides the little Pandora lets us keep here."

"Not ideal to storm the portal," Michael agreed. "At least it's not Pandora's headquarters or the high-security bases. Nobody stays long at the portal."

"The moment Jeremy is able to be transported he will be taken to one of the bases and then he's gone. We might already be out of luck."

"We gotta give it a try though."

"That we do." Jack took one of the pistols from the box before sitting down at the table in the room. Michael followed a bit reluctantly if only to see the blue light break from Jack's hands. Seeing it always left him with a bitter taste in his mouth, but he liked the color.

"Silence," she told him when the glow sank into the metal, painting runes. "Just like yours."

"It's a very useful enchantment."

"It means you want to fight for what you believe in, but don't want people to know about it." She let her fingers trail over the pistol before sighing.

"You should make sure that you have everything you need, Michael."

He left her then, knowing she needed a moment to collect herself after exhausting herself. Also he really needed to pack his bag, outside the sky was turning brighter and they had to go before sunrise.

When he was done, he threw his rucksack over his shoulders and moved downstairs. The front door was open and he steeled himself before stepping through. There was still a short moment of panic whenever he walked over the threshold but it was also exhilarating.

Gavin seemed to think the same because his grin was wider than Michael had ever seen it before. He was sitting on top of their car, his bag by his side and watched him come closer. Michael climbed up to sit next to him and without saying a thing Gavin jostled him, too excited to hold still.

"You driving with us?"

Right, they wouldn't all fit comfortably in one car, but Michael didn't really care who he joined, so he just shrugged.

"I think that would be top," Gavin went on. "Like in the movies. Have you ever been on a road trip before, Michael?"

"Sure, as a kid."

"I'm sure that was fun!" Gavin looked up when Ryan stepped out and opened the trunk of the car. They both handed him their bags and then Ryan stopped in front of them, pinching Gavin's leg carefully. A gesture only reserved for Gavin.

"You sure you got everything?"

"I'm not a child, Ryan."

"Says the one who forgot to take his money with him."

"Just my secret stash, alright? I forgot I had it!"

Sighing, Ryan threw Michael a disbelieving look, but he could only shrug, "He's your boyfriend. You can only blame yourself for that."

"I must have been desperate," Ryan sighed but without any heat. How could he when Gavin promptly threw his arms around his shoulders and leaned down to press kisses to the side of his face?

"If you do that while we drive I'll chose the other car," Michael told them, but it sounded way too fond. It was good to see both of them outside, and now Gavin leaned his head against Ryan's, grinning at Michael.

"I'm so happy we're leaving this place behind," he told him without so much as a glance to the motel.

"Aren't you going to miss it even a little?"

Gavin thought about that for a second before shaking his head.

"Everything that's important is coming with us. It's just a prison like this.” 

"Well then let's get you onto that prison bus," Ryan offered and tried to pull him from the roof of the car. Instead of jumping down, Gavin just wrapped his legs around him and let Ryan carry him.

The front door opened again and the other three stepped out. Michael felt a pang of worry when he noticed Ray's pale face, but before he could work himself up over it, Geoff already had called, "Throw your phones out. That's how they found Ray."

They instigated an impromptu throwing contest which Ryan undoubtedly won, but Michael was quite happy with his second place.

"We'll drive north for an hour first," Geoff began to explain as they gathered back around the cars. "After that, we'll buy two new phones because I want communications between our cars. We can work out a plan on the way to the portal."

Michael threw one last look towards the motel and wasn't sure what he should feel. To some degree he agreed with Gavin; with all of them gone, it was just a prison, but it had also been home for years now. He had met the others here and they had laughed, had talked, had formed this bond they had. Here he had found his second family after losing his first and now... now that felt too heavy. That was stupid and maybe he was too sentimental, but he noticed that he wasn't the only one looking at that place for a bit too long. 

Gavin had twisted in his seat once they started to drive.He was sitting up front next to Ryan and pressed his face against the window to keep an eye on the motel until it disappeared between the trees. For all his big talk he appeared quite somber now.

They followed Geoff, who was driving Layor's car, and for a while it nearly felt like being on the way to a mission, like nothing out of the ordinary. But they wouldn't return, no matter what. Michael leaned his head against the window and stretched his legs over the back seats. It was quiet in the car besides the steady purring of the engine, and at some point he must have fallen asleep.

Not for long before he got shaken awake, and when he opened his eyes Pollux was hovering above him. His hand shot out, grasping his shoulder before he could disappear again.

"Michael?" Gavin asked and of course it was Gavin. Gavin who was leaning above the seat to shake him awake and now frowned when Michael just stared. He couldn't answer at first, his mouth felt too dry, but then he shook himself.

"Fuck, sorry." He let go of the other, looking around. They were parked and the only two in the car and for a second he felt panic in his chest.

"Why are we stopped? Did something happen?"

"They're just getting the phones," Gavin assured him and then climbed over the console to sit down next to him.

"Sorry for waking you up, you looked like you could use some sleep but I figured you wanted to be awake for the planning."

"Of course. It's all good."

Gavin threw him a doubtful glance but before he could say something, the door to the car opened and Ryan joined them. He threw the phone into the back where Gavin barely caught it.

"Why is it hot pink?" Michael asked when he took a look at the package.

"Geoff."

"What kind of answer is that?"

"I wish I had a better one for you," Ryan sighed.

What followed was a fifteen minute try to get the damn thing running. Honestly, Michael had always been provided with phones from Pandora that were already up and running. The last time he actually had to set up a phone was in his late teens and now they were pondering over the thing with three people, trying to figure out which settings to choose. It didn't help that for some reason the other car was done before them.

"But they're old," Gavin whined when he saw Geoff across the parking lot, waving with their phone.

As if to answer him, Jack just held up the instructions, and okay, maybe none of them had bothered with that. Or thought of that.

When they finally got that thing running and a call going Michael felt pissed off.

"Alright guys." Geoff's voice reached them, static-y and far away, and that didn't help his mood. "The closest portal is down by the cliff side. That will be at least a four hour drive, so that's some time to brainstorm."

"Do you know anything about the security there?" Ryan asked as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"It depends on who is currently there. It's higher security when someone’s just come out of the portal. They stay there until they are ready to be transported which usually doesn't take longer than three days max. Pandora runs some tests, see if they can already classify the demon, but usually they want people in and out of there as soon as possible." He sighed. "Whenever I was called there to cleanse someone the security was high, but that was because a dangerous demon just came out of the portal. If they call me there it usually means that the demon is too dangerous to even lock them away as a category red demon. I can't really say how high security usually is."

"Gavin, any idea what kind of demon Jeremy could've contracted?" Ray asked over the phone but Gavin just shrugged.

"No way of knowing. We don't know if there is any rhyme or reason that makes demons choose their hosts and even then it would be hard to tell. There are some fucked up demons out there, so let's just hope that Jeremy didn't get one of those."

"If possible I want to cleanse him as fast as possible," Geoff said. "Get him out of there and somewhere safe where he can rest."

Michael nodded bitterly. That way Jeremy had a chance to go back to normal, to maybe even forget about all of this shit and live a normal life.

That would be the best case scenario.

"I don't remember too much from being there," Michael said. "There was this big room with the portal in it, I think and then only the room they kept me in. Some form of lab? They were running tests."

"There is an administrative area, but it's rather small," Geoff filled them in. "There are maybe five or six people working there, overlooking the portal and keeping tabs on who goes in and who comes out. Besides them there are a handful of scientists to run the tests you mentioned. How the body reacts to demons, what changed psychologically, and maybe even which category to put you in. I don't think we have to worry about them though, the guards are the real problem."

"Is it possible to get inside without anyone seeing us?" Jack asked.

"Not that I know of. Like I said, the portal was found deep inside a cave by the cliff side. There's one way in which is the main entrance. Every time I was there, there were at least five guards checking on people."

"I mean we can just walk past them," Michael offered. "They can't get to us when I put a shield around us and whatever they put in our way Ryan can get rid of."

"A possibility, but too messy. They would try everything to stop us and we also have to get out and away. Hard to do when they called in all the reinforcements they have. We need some form of distraction."

They fell silent pondering on what to do. For Michael, he could only recall that he wasn't long at the portal room after coming out of the Nether. The layout of the place far from his mind at the time; rather more focused on the demon in his head. After, he had been mostly kept in a room; a simple small space with a bed and small bathroom. 

Once or twice someone would lead him towards the lab to take blood and check on his pulse, nothing out of the ordinary. Something that had nearly become normal in the weeks leading up to stepping through the portal. From his room to the lab lead a long hallway that had appeared strangely futuristic to him. Something straight out of a scifi movie, with white metal walls and a walkway. But the way from the portal or the area around? He had no memories of that, too preoccupied with being out and he had quickly been led away.

Still if they made it to the lab, he was sure he could find the way back to the small rooms and if Jeremy was still there, that's where they would find him.

"Where would we get explosives?" Ray murmured over the phone. "Blow something up close by and the guards would surely be preoccupied with that."

"What the fuck, Ray."

"What? This is Los Santos. It can't be that hard to get your hands on something."

"Hundred bucks says that we blow each other up before we get anywhere close to the portal," Michael said.

"Dude, I'd take the bet. I say we could get there."

"What about fire?" Gavin threw in. He was leaning ahead in his seat to be closer to the phone. "I could ignite something close enough to the building to trigger the fire alarm. That would be a distraction, wouldn't it?"

"That could work. The guards would make sure to evacuate everyone and we could maybe slip inside."

"Gav, could you ignite a fire inside of the building without actually being in there?" Geoff asked. "If it's just something outside of the building they might not evacuate the whole thing and if we can make the people inside panic it would be easier for us to sneak in."

Gavin let himself fall back into his seat as he thought about it.

"I usually see where I’m trying to light a fire and usually it's not too far away. I never tried it like that." He frowned, deep in thought and didn't even notice that Michael and Ryan were watching him closely now. "I can, however, picture the portal room in my head. It might work."

"We'll try it like that then," Geoff decided. "If you can't do it, we just do it outside somewhere. As long as we can slip by the guards without too much trouble it shouldn't matter."

The phone call trailed off after that, nothing left to say, and Michael returned to watching the world outside the window. His stomach felt tight, as if he had eaten something funny, but he was just nervous. Scared.

If anything went wrong, if one of them got hurt, it would be his fault. Not only because he had the shields, but because he had brought them here. He had told them about Jeremy and if he kept his damn mouth shut, if he had just made sure they could run away-

But no, that wouldn't be right either. Jeremy didn't deserve that, Jeremy hadn't betrayed them either and it wouldn't be fair to return the favor like this. Michael hated the thought and it wasn't in his nature. The guilt would eat him alive.

No, he had made his decision and worrying about it now wouldn't change that. They would have to see this thing through now and he would just have to make sure that his shields were there, were ready to take any damage and then they would all get out fine.

That was his role; he was meant to protect.

His lids started to grow heavy again and he quickly snapped out of it. He didn't want to fall asleep, afraid of what might happen if he did, but he was still exhausted. The night had been fucked up and the quick nap before hadn't helped much.

"Hey Ryan," he said as he sat up, clearly startling the other man. "I can drive the rest of the way if you wanna relax."

"Oh, it's fine. I do-"

"Ryan," Michael interrupted him. "I don't want to fall asleep."

He knew that Ryan was searching for his eyes in the rearview mirror, but Michael didn't dare to meet his, fearing he would see something else. Gavin was also watching him, something upset in his face, and Michael hated that. The other had been so happy to get out of the motel; Michael didn't want to be the reason that faded.

"Alright," Ryan said, and thank God he didn't make a big deal out of it.

They changed seats, and behind the wheel Michael didn't feel as helpless anymore. With something to do his mind wouldn’t run circles anymore, and with his eyes locked on the other car in front, he started to relax. It would be fine. They had gotten out of every other situation before, no matter how hopeless it seemed, and also there was Ray. Even if something was to happen, Ray could fix it. Michael had seen him bring people back from certain death, had seen him reattach limbs for fuck's sake.

Ray was right; who could possibly stop them?

"Hey Gav," he called to the back where the other two were huddled together. "What's the first thing you're going to do when all this is over?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're free now," Ryan explained to him. "You can do whatever."

"I haven't thought so far ahead," Gavin admitted. He was leaning against Ryan who now wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. "I don't know. We don't have that much money, so nothing big, I guess."

"Don't think about money, right now. Let's say money isn't a problem," Michael said and saw how the other pondered over that. Next to them on the back seat sat a shadow, Michael could see it in the mirror, but it wasn't Mahr this time. It was just a silhouette of something else, on another level of existence. Another story, another star. Not really there and no danger to them.

It was a bit unnerving to watch but honestly? After Mahr last night this was nearly laughable.

"I've never been to an amusement park," Gavin finally settled on. "It looks sick when I see it on TV. I wouldn't go on a ride but I wanna see it up close for once!"

"Why not go on a ride?"

"It's scary, isn't it?"

"Local man who controls fire and fucks someone with super strength scared of a roller coaster. Seriously?"

"It's high, Michael! It looks so high! I don't think I'll like it."

"So what if I dare you?"

That made him shut up immediately as he thought about it and Michael couldn't help but laugh.

"We could also go for some ice cream?" Ryan offered before Gavin could agree to some stupid bet.

"Like sitting in an ice cream café? Sitting outside and stuff?"

"Exactly."

"That sounds nice. Can we go to the cinema?"

"Once a week!" Ryan promised before leaning down and dropping a kiss to Gavin's hair. "We’ll do everything you want to."

Gavin beamed up to him. "What do you want to do, Ryan?"

"Nothing against Geoff's cooking, but I absolutely want to go to a restaurant."

"Oh God yes," Michael agreed. "A nice restaurant where you can choose what you want yourself and don't have to find something six people like. Let's have a feast!"

Gavin hollered at that and for a while Michael just imagined it. The freedom, the choices. It sounded nice and sure, it wouldn’t be that easy, they would never truly be safe, but... but that was something worth fighting for.

The car before him signaled right and that ripped Michael from his mindless driving. He slowed down and followed Geoff onto the side of the road. The sun was standing high now and they should get close to the portal, but he didn't think they were there yet. They were however following the cliff side and he could see the ocean beneath them.

"What's wrong?" Gavin asked from the back seat. The two of them had been dozing but were stirring now.

"Dunno. Maybe just to stretch our legs?" He got out of the car when he saw the other's door opening. The heat felt like walking into a wall but now he could smell the ocean, the salt and hear the cry of seagulls.

Geoff waved them closer up to the railing separating them from the cliff side and they all gathered there. For a moment nobody said a thing; it was just nice to move around after hours in a car and it was a nice view from up here.

There wasn't a beach or anything, just sharp edges of stone, slowly giving up to the water. It had its own beauty to it and they all relished in it, in something else besides the endless days at the motel.

"The portal is directly beneath us," Geoff finally said, and Michael leaned forward. He wasn't able to see anything besides sharp cliffs, but the railing also kept them a few feet from where the ground gave away.

"How do we get there?"

"There's actually a street going down there, even though street is an inaccurate name for it. More a path. It's still a few miles ahead and then we head back close to the cliffs. It's nearly impossible to see from any side and if you don't know what you're looking for, you don't have a chance. There's space for one car, so we better hope that nobody from Pandora wants to head out around this time."

He pointed to the left, in between the cliffs, and yeah, maybe Michael could see a road peak out in between.

"We park the cars down there before they can spot us, but it has to be close enough to make sure we can get away just as fast. This... this won't be easy guys." Geoff turned around, looking at each of them. "Last chance to pull out."

"What?"

"We've got two cars. Whoever doesn't want to join us can get away and not get wrapped up with Pandora. This is your one shot at freedom and let's be real: this might not turn out fine."

For a moment there was a stunned silence, before, "What the fuck, Geoff?"

Michael didn't protest however. He was nearly a bit glad that Geoff offered and he kinda hoped some of them would take it. Deep inside this was still his problem, his fault. If someone got hurt he wouldn't be able to forgive himself, so if by any chance-

"Nice try," Jack ended up saying, and Michael saw her grip Geoff's shoulder. "We're all in this and you know it. We'll get Jeremy back and then we lose Pandora and then? Well, we'll see how it goes."

She was already turning around, back towards the car. "Come on, we can't stay here all day. No matter how nice the view is."

They all followed her, Michael couldn't even see any of them hesitating, and he was left as the last one standing next to Geoff.

"The same goes for you," Geoff said. "If you want out-"

"Don't bother, Geoff. I started this whole thing and I'll see it through."

Geoff sighed but he didn't look too surprised, and that made Michael grin. Without waiting for a reply, he went back to the car.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circular room approximately 50 yards beneath him was covered in white tile with emergency lights guiding the way to the staircase. In the middle was the portal.

Chapter 5

It did take well over thirty minutes until the car in front of Michael slowed down and then turned into such a steep lane, that Michael hadn't even seen it. There had to be hundreds of people driving this road every day but he could bet that barely any of them had noticed it..

The street made a sharp right turn that instantly made it disappear behind some rocks. It was a winding road, and Michael found himself focusing way more than usual just because it was so narrow. Geoff was right, if anyone decided to drive in the opposite direction it would be impossible.

The whole way had to be painstakingly built into the landscape, and he wondered how anyone had even found the portal in such a place. Sometimes he couldn't even see the ocean to his left, just jagged brown rocks and some bushes. It felt like being in a tunnel and he could feel how it grew tense in the car.

Gavin and Ryan weren't really nervous, but they had snapped to attention; Businesslike, because this was a mission. If Michael could just see it as any other mission it would be easier but it wasn't like that.

The path seemed to take forever but he didn't dare to drive faster. In front, Geoff stayed at a steady speed, not more than 20 mph, and Michael was glad for it. He was still surprised when Geoff finally stopped.

"Looks like we're there," Gavin muttered and opened the door. The heat beat down on them instantly. It had to be around noon because the sun was right above them and didn't leave them with any shadows here. Michael could feel the heat reflecting from beneath, could hear hidden cicadas which even drowned out the ocean behind the cliffs.

Geoff was walking ahead, looking around a sharp turn before coming back to them.

"If we drive any closer they will be able to see us. The entrance is just a couple hundred yards ahead of us, so we can walk there. We need that distraction now."

They all turned around to Gavin who looked back, fierce and determined.

"I can do it," he assured them. "Right underneath their asses, in front of the portal. I'm sure I can."

"If not, just do it outside, anything that will ring an alarm."

"Don't worry." Gavin looked around, searching for somewhere to sit down, but the ground was baking. In the end he opened the car doors again and slipped into the back seat, locking all of them out.

"You think he can pull it off?" Michael asked. Ryan just nodded. He looked worried now though, and Michael could also feel in his guts that this would take a lot out of Gavin and his body would react accordingly. They couldn't have him collapse in the middle of this.

"Jack, you should stay here with him," Geoff said but Jack didn't even bother answering. Out of all of them, she was the most defenseless one, her gift not meant for combat and with no way to protect herself. That wouldn't stop her though, and they all knew it. It was nice for Geoff to try anyway, just how nice it was going to be when he offered Gavin to stay back once he was done in the car.

Still, Michael couldn't help but catch a glimpse of Jack's gloves. If she had problems driving a car, was she even able to properly shoot?

He would just have to make sure she stayed inside his shields.

"It's fucking hot," Ray complained. It eased the tension a little and Michael watched as he shuffled into the little shadow they had from the cliffs above. After a while Michael joined him there as they waited. Jack and Geoff were overseeing the entrance from around the corner while Ryan was lingering around the car, but inside Gavin hadn't moved. With his head down, closed eyes, and furrowed brows he sat there, but Michael could tell that something was happening. Maybe it was a shift in the atmosphere or a sixth sense or whatever, Gavin was doing something, and by the way Ray was watching him as well, he could also feel it. 

It took five minutes. Five endless minutes under the beating sun until Gavin lifted his head and opened his eyes. They were pitch black and not focused on anything, and even though Ryan made to open the door, he didn't. Gavin was still working and neither of them wanted to break his concentration.

Michael expected to hear an alarm or something but in the end Jack just turned around. "Something is happening."

Michael stepped closer and Geoff let him look around the corner. The street went a bit further until one last turn left them right in front of a metal gate. Behind there was what looked like a jagged edged cliffside leading straight into a dead end, but somewhere the entrance to the portal was hidden. From here Michael could see four guards, standing together, talking animatedly. They were each carrying a semi automatic rifle and were reaching for it now.

Yeah, something had alerted them. He watched as two of them turned and walked away.

"Michael, Ray, can you take those other two out from here?"

"I can," Michael assured her and could already feel Ray behind him. They sneaked ahead, keeping close to the ground so that the boulders around covered them until they got close enough. It was still a far shot and Michael was suddenly aware of how long it had been since he had so much as touched his gun, how sweaty his hands were, and how hot the metal of the gun was. Ryan was the better shot than him, but Michael knew that he could do it.

Ray was crouched next to him, watching him out of steady dark eyes, just waiting. 

The runes of his gun lit up, and steadying his hand, he gave a jerking nod.

The two shots were completely silent thanks to Jack's enchantment, no echoing between the high walls around them, and Michael watched the two guards drop. It had something eerie to it, at least until Ray said, "If two guards fall in the forest, and there's nobody around to hear, do they make a sound?"

"You're full of shit," Michael told him pointedly, and the other just grinned. They both got up and just a second later Geoff's heavy hand fell on his shoulder.

"Good shot."

The others had caught up, even Gavin who was watching him out of pitch black eyes. Seeing that would unnerve anyone but Michael was simply too used to it at this point. Also it was better than the moonlight eyes he had seen on Pollux.

"Let's go."

They hurried down the road towards the gate and when they got closer Michael could hear the alarm. The shrill sound sent a shiver down his spine, a primal part of him recognizing it as danger, but he pushed it down. They were the danger today.

Ray reached the gate first, pulling uselessly at it before Ryan pushed him away. With one jerk from him the whole thing slid aside as if it was never locked at all. And with that they were in, stepping over fallen bodies without a second glance.

Even up close Michael had a hard time seeing the actual entrance. It wasn’t until he was standing right next to it that he realized that it was literally just a door. A metal door, painted in the same color as the surrounding cliffs. He wasn't sure what he expected, but it wasn’t this. A grand entrance maybe? A hollow maw leading down to hell? No - it was just a door.

Geoff marched ahead as if he belonged. Pulling the door open and peering inside and waving them through when he saw that it was all clear. It was climate controlled here, a far cry from the dry heat outside, and he heard Gavin gag somewhere behind him even over the alarm.

They were in a long hallway, the one Michael remembered from his time here, and at the end of it he could hear voices. People calling and ordering, most likely the guards. Geoff pushed open a door to their right and they all spilled in.

It was a break room for the staff with tables in the middle, a snack machine and a coffee maker on the counter of a small kitchen. It looked so out of place considering where they were that Michael wanted to laugh.

Gonna head down to the portal to another dimension, better get a coffee beforehand. What the fuck.

Jack grasped his arm and pulled him down, away from the door and they huddled in a corner.

"We'll wait until they evacuate the staff," Geoff said. "then and we can search for Jeremy. That should leave us with a couple minutes where nobody bothers us, otherwise we count on you." He pointed towards Michael and he just nodded.

Triella was there at the back of his head and she was ready.

"Gavin? You still fine, bud?"

"They’ve been trying to extinguish the fire." Gavin's voice was heavy and Michael was a bit alarmed by how pale the other had turned over the last few minutes. There was sweat running down his face even in this cool room. His eyes looked nearly bug-like, huge and unfocused.

Geoff reached out to put a hand on his shoulder before thinking better of it.

"They are giving up now, I think. I think they'll first get the people out before worrying about the fire."

"Perfect. Keep it going for as long as you can."

Gavin nodded and closed his eyes. Curling into himself, he even covered his ears to block them out and none of them bothered him. They all took the opportunity to catch their breath and in Ray's case to raid the snack machine. Michael couldn't help but laugh when he noticed but didn't say no to the offered M&M's. Low blood sugar was dangerous after all.

Outside the voices grew louder and Michael could hear the yelling clearly over the alarm. There were steps now as well, people running and that had to be the staff. He crouched towards the door, pushing his ear against it, and listened.

There was a lot of noises, panicked breathing and the ever droning alarm and then... then it grew quiet. Sure, the alarm was still ringing but the voices and steps faded.

"Let's give this a try," Geoff said behind him and with a last nod, Michael opened the door.

The hallway looked as empty and long as before. The shiny surface was a bit disturbed by dirt, probably dragged in from the boots from the guards and leading first down the hallway, before coming back up. Flashing emergency lights hidden in the floor led to the door they had come in from. It was now closed and Geoff waved Ryan towards them. 

Over the alarm it was hard to communicate, but Ryan understood. He hurried back towards the door and twisted the metal frame to his will. Like this it would be hard to open for anyone that wasn't him, and Michael felt a little better about that. Now they at least didn't have to worry about anyone who was outside.

"Search through every room," Geoff ordered over the alarm and they began to move.

There weren't too many doors down the hallway. This was just the way towards the portal and the real facility was behind it, but there was hope. Pandora surely hadn't evacuated the demons, they had locked them up wherever they had been, and Michael was pretty sure that up here was at least one lab.

He pushed the first door open but only found a bathroom. Still he opened each stall, making sure that nobody was hiding here for whatever reason. The alarm made him jumpy; it was hard to hear anything besides that and he didn't want to be surprised by anything.

The room turned up completely empty and Michael went back out, walking down the hallway. The next door was already opened and he saw Gavin in there. He had found the lab by the looks of it and was tentatively touching the machinery inside.

"Everything alright?" Michael asked, because the other was still pale and even from here he could see him shake.

Gavin turned to him, confused because he had maybe heard him call but not understood a word. He seemed to get the gist of it though because he sent Michael a thumbs up and a grin. His eyes had lost their dark color though, so he must have extinguished the fire.

Continuing on, he saw Geoff in another lab and then Ray in what looked like a supply closet. No, Jeremy wouldn't be up here, and Michael hurried ahead.

There was a draw now, a hook in him that pulled stronger with each step he took and he followed it willingly. The portal was close; he could feel it.

Emerging from the long hallway, he found himself on a metal platform and to his right were stairs spiralling down into the belly of the beast. Stepping towards the low railing surrounding the platform, he curled his hands around it and looked down. The circular room approximately 50 yards beneath him was covered in white tile with emergency lights guiding the way to the staircase. In the middle was the portal.

From up here he could only see the black frame but that alone was enough to make his hair stand on edge. Without even seeing the inside with its endless swirls, it shouldn't have been as bad - but the tiles around it reflected the purple glow. It was mesmerizing and he grabbed the railing tighter as if he was afraid of slipping, of falling, or even jumping. It felt like a possibility because the hook was still there, pulling and tugging at him to come closer. To welcome him home. They were waiting. Inside he wouldn't have to dream anymore.

Someone stepped up next to him, startling him out of the trance, and he looked up to find Jack. She was also watching the portal, something tight in her face, but the longer she watched, the more she relaxed.

She said something too quiet to hear, but he knew anyway.

Feels like coming home.

He nodded and turned again to the portal, had to catch another glance, even though he knew it would pull him in again. That it would get harder and harder to look away. They had to hurry, but right now he wasn't even sure why anymore.

The railing dug into his belly but he couldn't lean back, couldn't step away even though he knew he should. Felt like coming home, yeah, but only for a part of him. Triella, probably. There was still anxiety deep in his gut, a fear he couldn't quite shake off, because on the other side was hell. An endless landscape of brittle stone and fire and heat. 

It was a gunshot that snapped him out of it. A gunshot that made Jack's hair fly as a bullet hit her in the back of the head. She slumped forward and Michael wanted to grab her but then his own world twisted upside down and on the other side it was dark. 

It was dark and everything was a bit taller and there was Geoff and Jack at the end of the corridor. Sniper, there had been- Something heavy hit him in the chest, throwing him back and Jack was looking at him now, shock, but beneath that? Beneath was so much love that he could barely take it, that he was taking and taking and feeding off of and knowing it was okay, that it was okay, that it was all for him an-

"I'm okay, Jack," he heard himself say and Ray was above him. Ray was pulling on his arm to get him up, but his head snapped back. His head snapped back and hit something hard and someone was screaming, someone was crying out and-

"Shields!" The word nearly drowned out by the alarm and Ray was really above him, his face swimming back into existence as the world flipped into its rightful place. Ray above him, pressed so close that he screamed right into Michael's ear. Close enough to smell blood and when he understood that, he saw another bullet hit Ray's shoulder. A bullet hitting Ray instead of him, and finally Michael brought up a shield.

Then Geoff was there, appearing from the long hallway and shooting as well. Michael stared at him and then Gavin appeared next to him with his stupid golden gun and the shots stopped shortly after.

"-hurt?" Ray asked, and he was still on top of him. That reminded Michael of the sharp pain he had felt and his hand shot up, pressing against the spot right above his left eye, feeling for a hole there. Something had been lost, something had changed, and he had forgotten something.

"Are you hurt?"

A teddy bear? Why was he thinking about a ted-

Ray slapped him across the face and Michael jumped. There was no hole in his head, there was no artificial light falling into a dark skyscraper and there certainly wasn't a teddy bear.

There was Ray above him and he was asking him even though there were big drops of blood splattering on the ground, not only from his shoulder, but from other wounds as well.

Ray had shielded him from the onslaught of bullets and Michael’s heart sank.

"Michael!"

"No," he said. Too quiet, so he shook his head as well. "I'm okay, Jack."

Ray frowned for a second before pushing himself up. There wasn't any hesitation, not even with his wounds before he vaulted over the railing, as if the other side wasn't an abyss just waiting.

Michael watched him and felt his heart stop as Ray disappeared from his view.

"Michael!" That was Geoff, grasping his shoulder tightly, and Michael hadn't even noticed but he was gasping for air frantically. His heart was beating so hard his fingertips tingled and he reached up again, pressing them against the spot where the bullet had hit him.

God, he had visions before, memories of another self, but never one where he had died. Nothing so jarring and his stomach was still churning, debating if he should throw up or not. The alarm boring into his head didn't help.

Geoff was babbling something but Michael didn't pay it any mind. He saw the bodies now, one laying on the last few steps up to the platform and the other just a few feet away. They wore the same uniform as the guards and he hadn't heard them come up to them, not over all the noise and Jack hadn't either.

The memory of what happened was like a punch to his guts and he twisted around, grasping the railing tight and looking down. What he saw made him want to throw up.

The tiles beneath were broken from the impact of Jack's body. They were splattered red and thankfully Jack had landed on her front. Michael wasn't sure what he would do if she were staring up at him.

Ray was already next to her, holding tightly to her hand, and while Michael watched, he saw the blood retreating. It did little to appease him, he was still shaking like a leaf with how close that had been. 

But who was he kidding? If Ray hadn’t come, it would've ended here. Not only for Jack, but probably for him as well. How fucking funny would that have been? All his big talk about this whole mission and protecting his family; only for this to happen. 

The alarm stopped and the silence they suddenly found themselves in was jarring. It was still ringing in his ears, and confused, Michael looked around.

Across the way was an office with big observation windows down onto the portal. He hadn't noticed it before but now he saw Gavin there, giving them a quick thumbs up.

"Michael?" Geoff asked and he turned back around.

"Sorry," he muttered frantically. "I didn't hear them. I didn't notice, I'm so sorry, Geoff."

Geoff squeezed his arm, something soft in his eyes, and Michael dared to relax a little.

"It's okay," he assured him even though it clearly wasn't. "We got it handled, alright?"

"Okay."

"You think you can stand?"

His knees felt weak but he nodded anyway. Holding onto the railing, Geoff helped him get to his feet, and for a moment he stood there, swaying.

"Let's search for Jeremy and get out of here."

Right, Jeremy. He could freak out later, and right now he tried his best to pull himself together. Jack would be fine in a minute, Ray was handling it. He was fine as well, and at least the alarm wasn't still going.

"Alright."

They moved down the stairs, which spiralled tightly down towards the bottom and with each step he could feel the portal come closer and closer. The hook in his head had changed to a tickling in his stomach. Not an exciting one, more like one that would make him grow sick sooner rather than later.

The eerie silence didn't help either. It sounded wrong after all the noise from before and without the people that should actually be in here. As if they were the only people left in the world. 

When he heard a noise coming from above, he jumped and spun around only to realize that it was Gavin and Ryan following them.

As they finally reached the bottom, Michael stopped and took a moment to look around. Everything around the portal had been clinically white but now one corner was black with grime. That had to be where Gavin's fire had burned. It looked eerie in the purple glow of the portal, something out of this world, and he quickly looked away.

Jack was already sitting up when they reached her and as always Michael was endlessly grateful for Ray's gift. He was crouching next to her, a hand on her back and talking quietly.

When Michael and Geoff came closer, they looked up to them and Michael's shoulders slumped.

"I'm sor-"

"Cut it out," Jack just said, and that helped more than whatever else she could have said, cutting straight through the bullshit, and when she held her hand out, he gladly helped her up. "Didn't hear them either and I didn't have to climb the stairs, so it's not all bad."

Michael gave a startled laugh and tried to ignore the broken tiles beneath his feet and the looming presence of the portal. Everything in him wanted to just get away from here because he'd been rattled but Jack's warm hand in his helped. There was no drop of blood on her, nothing out of the ordinary. As if just a couple minutes ago a bullet hadn't gone straight through her head. Fuck, she probably looked healthier than him!

Ray got up and brushed his jeans of tile shards. Jumping down here must’ve hurt, but Ray hadn't hesitated. He never did, claimed he couldn't feel the pain anymore, and that had always greatly disturbed Michael. Now Ray just grinned at him, but it was strained, not because of what happened - because he sure as hell went through worse - but because of the portal.

It loomed to the left of them and when Michael turned around, he could tell that Geoff was mesmerized by it. He had stopped a few steps behind him, staring at it, and it made Michael's hair stand on edge.

He didn't like this place.

"Jack!" Gavin cried out once he reached the bottom of the stairs. He grasped her arm, squeezing, and she just smiled. She was also avoiding looking at the portal, didn't want to get pulled into it like Geoff.

"I'm fine."

"I got the asshole who shot you."

"Good work, buddy."

"The demons are kept down there," Ryan called with a nod towards one of the big metal doors leading away from this main room. He put a hand on Geoff's shoulder, making him jump a mile. "Right, Geoff?"

"Yeah... I mean, yeah. Down there are like a dozen rooms and a few more labs. Jeremy is probably there."

So they went on, each of them making an effort not to look at the portal, to ignore its existence completely. Michael was the first at the door but it didn't budge no matter how hard he pulled.

"Locked because of the fire?" Gavin asked before he pointed to a black plastic box right next to it. "Or we need some form of ID."

A hand nudged Michael's side and he stepped aside to make room for Ryan. All it took was one solid shove from him and the doors flew open, crashing into the walls hard enough to make the plaster crack.

"Or that, ... you big show-off."

Beyond the doors was another hallway, a near identical copy of the one above but with more rooms on each side. The doors were different as well, made out of heavy metal with a window to look inside. They reminded Michael of cell doors from a prison he had seen on TV.

They moved through quietly, throwing glances into the small spaces. Michael's stomach felt tight when he saw the faces, didn't need to know about the stories locked away there. A girl around their age looking anxiously at the door, probably worried about the alarm. An old man who nearly looked relaxed as he laid on his bed, reading a book. His leg betrayed him, jerking up and down.

"What about those people?" Gavin questioned. He'd stopped in front of one of the cells, looking inside. His face was pale and Michael couldn't tell if it was because of what was happening or because his gift was taking its toll.

"We can't free them all," Geoff said. "We don't have enough room to get all of them out in our cars. They'll get caught by Pandora or worse, shot once the guards find them."

Gavin nodded. He didn't like that, that much was clear, but Geoff didn't like it either. It was just how things were right now and Michael tried not to think too hard about it. It wasn't fair, they could maybe squeeze one more into the car with them but how would they be able to choose? He hated that Pandora locked them away and he didn't agree with them but it was true that demons were dangerous, most of all new demons, those who couldn't yet control their gifts.

Ryan and Gavin were category red demons for a reason and Michael had often seen the powers they could hold. He hadn't known them when they had been new demons, but just imagining them without proper control was scary.

Who said that one of those people here wasn't as dangerous? Maybe even worse?

What if Jeremy was one of them?

The thought made him hesitate, but thankfully he didn't have to dwell on it for too long before Ray brushed past him.

"Look at that!"

He pointed ahead, to a cell a bit towards the back and it took Michael a moment to realize what was different. The window was closed, the only one in this whole hallway - and right then and there, Michael knew that it was where Jeremy was. Maybe it was just a hunch but right now he was sure of it.

Ray was ahead of him and pulled the metal slate aside. Michael reached him just a heartbeat later and also stared inside, only to deflate.

It wasn't Jeremy. It was a woman in her fifties. She was standing in the corner of her room and her eyes were burning a near toxic green.

"Fuck," Michael whispered and then kicked at the wall. It hurt his foot but he didn't care, because for a moment he had hoped. Fuck, he had really-

Ray's hand shot out to grasp his arm and Michael flinched. His nails dug into his flesh, hard enough that Michael feared his skin would give, and he turned around.

There was blood on Ray's face, coming thick and sluggishly out of his nose, and his eyes were wide and panicked but still focused on the cell in front of them.

"Ray?" His name came out too sharp and Ray's fingers buried even harder into Michael's skin. Michael followed his gaze, only to find the woman with the green eyes again and suddenly he knew why the window had been locked before. He quickly threw the metal slate shut again, cutting through the eye contact.

Ray collapsed and that was the scariest of all. Michael had seen him brush the scariest injuries from him as if it was nothing, fuck, just a minute ago Ray had leapt from the plattform as if it wouldn't at least break his legs. But seeing him just crumple to the floor, blood still on his face left something so horrified in Michael, that he couldn't move.

Jack was there though, dropping down next to him.

"Ray? Can you hear me?"

He didn't answer, and finally Michael crouched down as well. Ray looked like he had been turned to stone, his arm still outstretched and hands like claws. How much strength had it cost him to even reach for him, to make Michael notice? He didn't know, but when he heard Ray's sudden gasp of breath he felt his own shoulders slump.

"Fuck," Ray barked out, and the stiffness faded from his limbs. He reached up to wipe the blood from under his nose and looked at it, shocked. "Fuck, that didn't feel good."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah sure, in a minute." He wiped his fingers on his jeans before sitting up. Jack had a tight grip on him and helped him, and Michael didn't like how shaky Ray was. That wasn't normal.

"Dude, you know when you get like a brain freeze from ice cream?" he asked. "It was like that only ten times worse. I thought she would make my brain implode or something like that."

"You scared the shit out of me," Michael admitted.

"You tell me. I didn't see that coming either." He touched Jack's hand on his shoulder and smiled up to her. "I'm fine though. All healed up and I mean, it was just my brain. Can't be anything important up there, right?"

Jack sighed but let him stand up. "So I'm guessing that wasn't Jeremy?"

"No, just some creepy mind flayer or something."

Shaking his head, Michael turned his attention back to the hallway and felt his heart sink a little. There weren't that many cells left and some of the doors didn't even have a window, so they might be other rooms. What if Jeremy wasn't here anymore? When they were too late?

Biting his lip, he pushed himself on and stopped before the next door. This one wasn't as heavy and as he opened it, he found another lab. It wasn't as big as the one upstairs but there was another door in the back.

Jeremy wouldn't be there, he knew that, but there were only four more cells after this and he could already tell that the others were moving on, were glancing inside. It wouldn't take long to check if Jeremy was there, and something inside him told him that wasn't the case. No, if Jeremy were there wouldn't they be able to sense it somehow?

But there was nothing as Michael crossed the room, pushing past the desk in the middle. On his left was a mirror that stretched over the side of the room, and something in there was following him but he didn't turn around. Instead, he reached the door and pushed it open.

A supply closet with all kinds of shit. Medical instruments, paper, and fresh sheets. Useless.

He stood in the doorway, staring even harder into the room as if that would change anything. Open a secret door or something but of course nothing happened.

In the mirror, he would be able to see Jeremy, but not his Jeremy. There were Jeremys from other worlds and he was on the outside, looking in. It was Triella who was able to tell what he wanted. To find Jeremy, to get him out of here, and because he wasn't here, she gave him the closest thing she could.

It wouldn't work like that, he couldn't reach inside and pull them through the looking glass.

"Michael?"

He turned around and found Ryan standing there and his expression said it all. Michael felt his shoulders slump.

"He isn't here, is he?"

Ryan shook his head and then placed himself in front of the mirrors. It wasn't much, but not being able to see the shadows was at least something and when Ryan put a hand on his shoulder, he followed him without hesitation. Back outside in the hallway the others were waiting, talking, but once he stepped out, they all fell silent.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He should probably say something, but he couldn't get his mouth to open. Jeremy wasn't here.

"Are we sure we searched everywhere?" Jack.

"There isn't anywhere else to go. I told you there aren't many cells here and we searched through those." Geoff.

Silence.

Michael didn't even dare to look up. He was trembling and knew it but how could he not? He'd fucked up. He'd fucked up big time.

"There was this overseeing platform where I turned off the alarm." Gavin.

"Jeremy isn't there."

"But PCs! Maybe I can find out where they brought him!"

Steps as Gavin hurried away. Two others following him, most likely Ryan and... Geoff? Yeah, Geoff. It was a chance, but it wouldn't help them. If Jeremy was in the high security barracks they wouldn't be able to get him - no way.

Fuck, he should've made sure Jeremy was here. He should've... dreamed again, wandered here and checked or something. If he had woken up, told them all about Ray and Jeremy and then went back to sleep, to check out if Jeremy was really here- if he'd woken up earlier an-

Michael leaned against the cold metal wall and slid down until he was on the floor.

"Michael-" Someone was stepping closer but he pulled a shield around himself. He didn't want to hear the lame excuse that it wasn't his fault, that they would get Jeremy back somehow, that they just had to brainstorm some more. That was bullshit and just an attempt to make him feel better.

And fuck, it was Jack who was standing close now but not able to reach, and that wasn't fair to her. It really wasn't, not with how often she had sat by his bed before, waiting for him to wake up.

And he had brought her here. She had been free, finally. All of them, and instead of planning an escape, of getting them out, Michael had told them about Jeremy. Michael had brought them here, of all places.

They were back at the portal and outside were agents of Pandora and like hell they would hesitate to shoot. No, they would take them out and sure, there was still a chance. With his shields they could get out, back to their car but then they had to move on.

And for what? They had come here for absolutely nothing. All this planning and the danger and fuck, Jack had been shot in the head! If Ray hadn’t been here-

Michael pressed a hand against his mouth and wasn't even sure why. It felt like he had to scream, like nothing could stop him from just screaming himself hoarse because he had been so fucking stupid.

They could've been gone by now. They could've taken Layor out and fled into the night. By now they could've been across the border, somewhere far enough away that Pandora wouldn't find them right away and then they could've made a plan. Getting some fake IDs or something and leave America, somewhere where things were better.

But instead he had led them here, right into the heart of Pandora.

"We all agreed to come along." That was Ray who now kicked against the shield. It made Michael flinch. "So don't act like a fucking martyr or something. We all came here on our own accord and we all knew the risk. This isn't just on you."

"If I hadn’t told you about Jeremy-" Michael began only for Jack to shake her head.

"That wouldn't have been you, Michael. You couldn't have just left Jeremy in the hands of Pandora without even trying. We couldn't either." She pressed her hand against the shield and Michael could feel her demon in that moment, Alastair pushing against it, bringing a wave of concern and more frighteningly, love to him.

He let his shield down with a sigh.

"Let's see what Gavin finds out," Jack offered. "Who knows, maybe we still got a chance. It's too early to give up."

Michael pressed his lips together to stop himself from saying something. He wouldn't lead them into any more trouble; this was their one chance and they had blown it. There was another option; If Gavin could find out where Jeremy was... there was still his wish.

"Stop sulking," Ray told him and reached out a hand for him to take. After another moment of hesitation he did so, while his brain was already working away.

They walked back towards the main area while Michael was pondering over his options. There was a stress headache coming, he could feel it behind his eyes, and the portal didn't help. The portal with its purple glow that hurt to look at and the endless swirling inside that was just a cheap way to hypnotize them.

There was a tumult on top where the others hurried around to get to the observation platform. This was their chance for one last hint before they really had to go. Surely Pandora’s security was already on their way here, had noticed that something was off. All they had were minutes.

So Michael followed the other two towards the stairs and then started to climb up. It appeared longer than he remembered. In the distance he could hear loud bangs coming from somewhere further away. The security trying to open the front door probably. Ryan had made sure it wouldn't just open but how long would it truly hold?

"Hey!" Gavin called from above. He was running so fast that Michael felt his heart skip for a moment, fearing he would go straight over the railing as he leaned over to talk to them.

"Did you find something?"

Nothing good by how pale he looked and how he hesitated for a moment.

"Jeremy was thrown into the Nether," he called down, fingers gripping the railing in trepidation. "But he never came back."

Michael hadn't expected that. He had seen Jeremy throughout his dreams in different worlds and different constellations but as a constant. Pollux had known about him, had even told him that Jeremy had been at the lake, and maybe Michael hadn't understood that, maybe he understood next to nothing of what was happening, but it meant something. It had to mean something because how could it not?

Jeremy was a part of this, whatever it was. He couldn't just... vanish.

Michael had stopped in his tracks and wasn't even looking up at Gavin anymore. No, his eyes traveled down to the portal.

Jeremy hadn't come out, but it didn't feel like he was gone. No, he didn't believe it.

"How long does it take to contract a demon?" he asked, but nobody answered. That was fair enough, considering he couldn't remember either. Back then he had bigger problems than checking the date and how much time he had lost between going into the portal and coming out again. 

Could they go through the portal again to pull Jeremy out?

The thought had barely crossed his mind when everything in him screamed no. It was such a heavy wave of denial that it made him dizzy and he had to hold tighter to the railing. It wasn't even coming from him but Triella, and he quickly abandoned the thought.

The others were discussing as if they had any options left right now, maybe another try at rescuing Jeremy later but they all knew that was ridiculous. No way they would be able to break in later when Pandora would clearly tighten their security.

Michael didn't even listen as they threw non existent options around, just went back down the stairs. Nobody seemed to notice and even if they did, he wouldn't have stopped anyway. Besides their voices, they could only hear the rhythmic banging coming from the entrance and he knew he had to hurry. Geoff would tell them to run any minute now and he couldn't waste a second.

He threw the door to the hallway open and pulled a shield around it. The others shouldn't be able to follow him in case things went wrong and he also didn't want to be disturbed.

The door to the lab was still open and he walked inside without hesitation. The place wasn't important, deep inside he knew that, but this here felt right. With the long mirror over the working space it would be easier to see what only he could and he stopped in front of it.

For once he actually just saw himself but that would change if he dared to look deeper. Right now Triella was just waiting for him.

"Pollux?" he called, watching the area behind him.

_ "Call for me in your time of need." _

"Are you there?"

_ "This time I will be there." _

The clinical look of the lab behind him vanished and was replaced by something much more pleasant. Natural light falling in through huge windows, something uncalled for so deep in the cliffside they were in, but even though Michael could barely make out the landscape behind the glass, he knew it was different. No ocean or rough rocks, but looking out over a city with thick walls separating them.

A castle. He knew it instinctively and frowned. For a moment he didn't make the connection, but then he remembered Pollux's clothes, and yeah, he might be from a medieval time.

The long mirror functioned like a panorama view, showing him the entire room he was in in a distorted view. There was a mighty throne in the middle and something about seeing it made him shiver. His hand moved, wanted to reach through the mirror and touch it - like he knew he had in other lives. 

This throne was his but not quite. There was a crown resting on his hair but it was a mere circlet, nothing grand as that of a King.

His fingers hit the smooth surface of the mirror, distorting the picture in front of him for a moment. Like touching water. He could push through if he wanted to, just slip right in because he was the Dreamwalker and realities were nothing but ponds he could choose from. Stars in the sky he could touch.

"Michael."

He spun around and couldn't help but feel embarrassed as if he’d done something forbidden. Something he shouldn't have.

"You called me."

Pollux was standing in the corner of the room in his pristine clothing, the warm thick coat. The green had faded under the amount of shadows and stardust and Michael's heart sank. For a moment he also saw a crown, the crown from the dream in the mirror, and that seemed right, but then it was gone. Ripped away like a scarf. A scarf that had been left behind when the snow had been falling upwards.

Michael groaned and held his head, needed to know where he himself ended. Everything he was getting, those images and stories weren’t his to have, but Jack had been right. In dreams there was a simple, general knowledge of things.

"Michael?"

He pulled himself together and took another look. The crown was gone now but the wall behind Pollux was strangely twisted, just like Michael had distorted the world behind the looking glass through his touch. That was new and he didn't like it.

He didn't like how many things had changed since they had last seen each other. For him it had only been days, but for Pollux? Oh, between the worlds time was weird and unpredictable.

The weary look in Polluxs’ face, the tremble in his hand, and of course that moonlit eye, the right one, and Michael remembered how Pollux had held it in pain the last time he had wished to return here. There was a mark touching it, and while that was familiar, there were new ones as well, and he didn't like those. Everything reminded him too much of Mahr.

"You came."

"I promised you, didn't I?" Pollux asked, nearly something teasing in his tone, and Michael relaxed a little. That made the other more human, familiar.

"Yeah, you did."

While Michael had been asleep, watching from outside, he had been so desperate to get back but Pollux hadn't answered.This time though, here, now, he had come, and honestly, Michael hadn't even doubted that.

"I was too late," Michael blurted out. There was a desk separating the two of them and he stepped up to it but didn't dare to cross the remaining distance. "They had already found Ray but we got him back. He's safe now but Jeremy... I was too late!"

"I'm sorry to hear that, Michael." Unmoving, a specter in the shadow and Michael frowned.

"We came here to get him out of Pandora but he went through the portal. He hasn't come out!"

Pollux tilted his head towards the right, looking straight in the direction of the portal as if he could see it from here.

"Jeremy is still there. He already contracted Sanaii."

Sanaii.

"He's searching for an exit now."

"We don't have time. We only have minutes left!" Michael pleaded and Pollux' eyes darted back to him. For a moment he was still distant, a shadow that was watching from far away than his face softened.

"Michael... are you considering this as your wish?"

"Would you be able to do it?" he asked, hands braced against the desk between them. "If I say yes, could you do it?"

"To use your wish for someone else... Michael, you could-" Pollux trailed off, and for the first time there was a soft smile on his face. Turning around, he faced the corner he appeared in. "Can I influence the Nether?"

He wasn't talking to him, Michael knew that, but it took him another moment to truly notice the shadow. It was pooling there, and now that he was paying attention, he saw that it didn't fit. It looked wrong, crooked and distorted and then it began to crawl up the wall.

Michael stumbled back, away from Mahr while they nestled on Pollux' shoulder like some freaky parrot.

Pollux noticed with a frown before his face darkened. Michael could pinpoint the exact moment when he understood.

"Why is Michael afraid of you, Mahr?" he asked, and Michael had never heard the other speak threateningly. He hadn't even believed that Pollux was able to. Before... he had always considered Pollux as something vague and see through, like smoke. Something he couldn't catch or hold or understand because it wasn't meant for him. It was meant to be carried up into the sky and disappear into the night.

Now though he looked more human than before, and Michael remembered the mirror behind him, the place he had seen. Home, for Pollux. 

What had happened there? When had he become this... creature?

"They visited you, didn't they?" Pollux turned back to him, and Michael nodded. The shadow in the corner grew bigger, crawling up until it reached the ceiling. It was a warning, but right now he wasn't scared. It was because of the warm daylight he could still feel on his back coming from the dream in the mirror and the fact that Pollux was here.

"They hid beneath my bed in the middle of the night like a monster for kids," he said. "But they weren't able to get to me. Not with Triella at my side."

"It's what they do best," Pollux murmured. His anger was barely hidden but he left it for now, focusing on what was more important, and Michael was glad. They didn't have a lot of time and he knew that Pollux distorted this realm, but he wasn't sure what that meant. If they had more time or not and he didn't dare to ask.

"I can do it," Pollux finally said. "If you really want to use your wish like this I will allow Jeremy to find the exit right now."

They didn't have another choice, not if they wanted to save Jeremy. It still tasted bitter on his tongue, to use his wish on something like this. If they had been faster or if he had woken up earlier, so many things could've been avoided. He could've saved his wish for something else, something that would help all of them.

Lindsay came back to his mind and the guilt felt heavy. That was also an option, to save her, and fuck, didn't she deserve as much?

Pollux had stepped around the table and he hadn't noticed. He actually jumped a little when he saw the other so close, the shadow still sitting on his shoulders, but the other didn't even seem to notice. He didn't even have eyes for Michael but stepped past him until he stopped in front of the mirror. It still showed the same scene as before and for a second Michael felt such a wave of yearning coming from Pollux that made him dizzy.

"I grew up in this throne room," Pollux told him. "I learned where nobles ruled and played catch with the King himself right there. Many hated me and wanted me gone, some tried to get rid of me. They said I caused misfortune." He touched the mirror, right above the throne and the glass fractured and stained black. The dream turned into a nightmare right there and Pollux quickly lowered his hand again.

"There weren't many I could trust, but the ones that stood by my side I hold dearly in my heart. One of them was you, or at least my version of you." Pollux laughed to himself, something secret and dear in his voice. "My Michael was brave and loud and obnoxious. He was talented and brusque and loved with all his heart. When we met he was the first person who knew I was a Child of Misfortune and still offered his kindness. Michael was the first friend I had ever made and one of the few who stayed with me until the very end."

He reached up, pressing his hand right above his heart and his face twisted as if he was in pain. "My Michael stood up for me when I didn't have a voice and my Michael kneeled before me and swore his loyalty with a kiss reserved for royalty. He held me close and faced the monster I had run away from all my life. I miss him so much that it's hardly bearable."

Pollux turned towards him now, but Michael couldn't speak, his mouth was dry.

"He wanted to become the greatest warrior the kingdom had ever seen and he had worked towards that goal all his life, but when I needed him he gave up his dream to protect me instead. I'll never forget the sacrifice he made to be close to me, to make me feel safe. You making a wish for someone else... I can't say I'm surprised, you always reminded me of him."

"I'm not him," Michael whispered. It was very important that Pollux understood that, and thankfully Pollux nodded.

"I know."

"I can let you go through the mirror though. Maybe you could see him again," Michael offered. He wasn't sure what he expected to happen but Pollux' reaction was instant. His head shot up, staring at Michael and a mix of emotion flashed over his face, nearly too fast to decipher. Surprise, fear, yearning and sadness. Such a heart clenching hope that Michael could feel it in his own chest. Then resignation.

Turning back around, Pollux walked down the length of the mirror, letting his finger travel across. The glass shattered like before and Michael wanted to stop him, to grasp his arm and pull him away, but he didn't dare, so he just watched as the mirror turned blind. Until only a nightmare remained, distorted by shadows and a cracked surface.

"I'm not allowed. I can never go back, so please don't tempt me."

"I'm sorry."

Pollux nodded, his eyes still on the tarnished mirror. "I can't dream anymore and you can't stop dreaming. That's the thing that connects us and the burden both of us carry. For us dreams have become something scary, something real and dangerous."

"And neither of us can rest," Michael added. He had figured that before, but hearing it from Pollux made it worse. Would he also end up like him? Lost somewhere in between these worlds, unseen by everyone but the other? Would he also lose his way home, never to return again?

"The Nether portal is weak," Pollux went on. "If I pull Jeremy through I might damage it further. Pandora installed a machine to secure the portal but it will fail, that is inevitable, no matter the choice you make. That's the risk and you should know about it."

He didn't even hesitate, just stepped up to Pollux until he should have been able to feel the other's warmth. It wasn't there; instead there was the coldness of falling snow and the scent of stars and millennia. Of old fairy tales with oh so familiar stories that still felt different no matter how often he heard them. A lullaby that was already nestled in the back of his head.

"Bring Jeremy home, Pollux. That is my wish."

Pollux hesitated, but then nodded.

"I wish that Jeremy would now return through this portal here." It was just a glance towards the shadow on his shoulder, just a moment in which nothing really happened. It was strange, Michael wasn't sure what he had truly expected, but deep inside he knew, could feel Jeremy return to this realm, and a huge weight lifted from his shoulders.

"Than-"

Pollux doubled over, his hand clutching the space above his heart again and Michael wanted to steady him but didn't. Touching Pollux was like touching stars, impossible and terrifying and endless, even if the other was in pain because of him. Even if this was the price Pollux had to pay for his gift, the lines carved into his soul until it would be tainted black.

"Can I help you? Is there some way for me to help you?" he found himself asking with his hand hovering over the others’ shoulder.

"Thank you, but there's no way back for me." With a deep breath Pollux pushed himself back up, forcing a smile. "I've become darkness now."

"Because of Mahr? Geoff could exorcise them an-"

"Your Geoff can't see me, Michael."

God, he hated being helpless. There was nothing worse and he didn't even think about what he did next, the idea never crossed his mind, and still here he was, pulling his gun without a second thought. Jack's runes glowed brightly and nobody would hear the shot, nobody would notice a body afterwards, and so he pressed the barrel against Pollux' head. Right between the eyes. One green and the other corrupted by Mahr.

They widened for a moment but Pollux made no move to escape him, he didn’t even take a step back.

"I could kill you," Michael said. It sounded like an offer, and he figured it kind of was. His hand was shaking because he didn't know what would happen if he actually pulled the trigger now. If everything would just shatter, turn blind and into a nightmare just like the mirror had. If nothing would happen at all, and he knew that Mahr was there, curling around Pollux. Jet black dark and threatening, ready to rip him into pieces if he'd dare to hurt his host, but Pollux was holding them back.

No, Pollux leaned into the gun.

"I wish you could."

In the end Michael didn't do it, and he figured they had both saw that coming. Pollux smiled at him, as pained as before, and then he just disappeared as quickly as he had appeared, leaving only a blind looking glass and stardust behind. Michael kept his gun up for a few moments longer before letting it drop back at his side.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No way Jeremy just stumbles out of the portal at this very moment," he hissed, but kept his voice low enough that only the two of them could hear. "You used your wish."
> 
> "So what?"
> 
> "God, Michael."

Chapter 6

Walking back down the hallway, Michael kinda expected someone to come looking for him. How long had he been gone? Surely they must have noticed that he had just turned and went away.

But for now nobody was waiting by the doors and he let the shield fall to step back into the main room.

Jack and Ray were back downstairs now, walking towards him, but the other three were still only on the stairs. Had so little time passed? It had felt long staying in that room with Pollux, but he figured time was unpredictable, most of all in a dream.

There was a gasp that made all of them stop and turn towards it. Michael already knew that it was Jeremy but the shock on the other’s faces was obvious. Not that he was much better because actually  _seeing_ Jeremy after all this time-

Jeremy was on all four in front of the portal and gasping as if he had barely escaped drowning. He was sweating and shaking and looked ready to collapse on the spot. Michael was the closest to him right now, but he couldn't bring himself to move. He wanted to, he should, but his legs just wouldn’t listen. 

It was Jack who ran and dropped beside him, holding him tightly on his shoulder.

"Jeremy!"

"Jack? Wha-" Jeremy stared up to her, then around the room, and when his eyes found Michael, the strange feeling in him grew stronger. The unpleasant feeling that had him rooted to the ground. He had expected to feel relief, now that this whole mission wasn't a disaster, but all there was was an all-embracing shock. It tingled in the tips of his fingers and made his heart pound fast.

Jeremy was staring at him with blinding blue eyes, not unlike Jack's when she used her demon, but this wasn't the same. This was Sanaii, and Michael's mouth felt dry as he kept his eyes locked with Jeremy's.

Jeremy had contracted a demon and everyone had expected that, but seeing it left him overwhelmed. He didn't even know why exactly, he had known this would happen, he had fucking wished for it, but his feet still wouldn't move.

He noticed now that he wasn't the only one; besides Jack, nobody had taken so much as a step. Sure, it was more surprising for them but this wasn't right, something was wrong.

"Ray? Take a look at him, I don't like how much he's shaking," Jack ordered. She wrapped her arms around Jeremy, letting him nestle against her chest, and that was probably for the best. Jeremy didn't look good; with how pale he was, Michael expected him to go down on the spot. Probably because Michael had just ripped him out of the Nether, going from one extreme to the other.

"He just came out of the portal, he's not hurt," Ray said. His voice sounded flat and far away, but Michael saw how Jeremy looked up upon hearing him.

The guilt that hit Michael next ripped through his whole body. A static feeling that made any movement and thought impossible, a full on, raw emotion.

Michael already felt guilty after all that had happened, but this he could tell, wasn’t his guilt.

"Ray," Jeremy whispered. His shaking had stopped but only because he was frozen, eyes wide. "I- I'm so sorry. I told them. They made me an-"

Michael was feeling what Jeremy felt and turning to Ray, he wasn't the only one. Ray was standing there, chest heaving as he tried to work through the emotions, the shock, guilt, fear, and a thousand other feelings.

There were steps coming from above and he had the hardest time even turning his head and by then Geoff had already reached the bottom of the stairs. He ran past Ray and then grasped Jeremy's shoulder, startling the poor boy.

It was like a wake up call and Michael actually jumped when all those emotions were suddenly missing. He could hear Gavin gasp from his place on the stairs as he too was released from that emotional hold.

God, finally he could move.

"Geoff?" Jeremy sounded so broken and confused, but Geoff had it handled. He relaxed his grip a little and when he spoke, his voice was soft.

"Hey Jeremy."

"What... What's going on? I was-" Jeremy trailed off and Michael could see him shiver even from here.

"We'll get you out of here now. How does that sound?" Geoff offered.

"That sounds pretty good."

Geoff's eyes found him now, and Michael snapped back to attention.

"You ready to get us out of here?"

Right. Right, that was on him now, and he took a deep breath. It would be easy to just agree, but right now he actually wasn't sure. He unsurprisingly found himself shaking pretty hard. And fuck, he was so confused right now.

"Give me a minute," he told Geoff, and the other nodded. They had to have that much time at least until he could collect himself. He wasn't going to let them run out there when he wasn't sure if he could keep his shields up the whole way.

Jeremy was staring at him again but this time it was out of his own eyes, and that at least settled something in Michael. Geoff was negating his demon right now, and that was also something they had to deal with soon enough. A new demon was dangerous and unpredictable and Jeremy's seemed to mess with their minds. That wasn't ideal, but they would have to get over it.

Someone grasped his arm and he turned to find Ray. The other was still pale but also furious.

"No way Jeremy just stumbles out of the portal at this very moment," he hissed, but kept his voice low enough that only the two of them could hear. "You used your wish."

"So what?"

"God, Michael." Ray squeezed his arm, but Michael didn't want to think about that right now. They had to get away from here and then... then he could dwell on that.

Ray was shaking his head but didn't continue. Instead he looked around and Michael saw Geoff doing the same. They were planning and when Michael followed their eyes he frowned.

Gavin and Ryan had finally reached the bottom of the stairs. They were slow because Gavin was dragging his feet, face pale as a sheet, and Michael knew that next he would start to shake until white fog came from his mouth. He had used his gift too much. Would be out in a few minutes.

"Ryan, you drive one of the cars," Geoff ordered, and the other nodded.

That did leave them with another predicament because Geoff would have to negate Jeremy's demon during the drive because they couldn't have any distractions when they were fleeing from Pandora. He wouldn't be able to drive, and Ray couldn't drive in the first place.

"I take the second car," Michael found himself saying but Geoff was already shaking his head.

"No way. We might need your shields when Pandora is after us and you'll get tired. You know that better than anyone else and we really can't use a crash. You'll sit right next to me before you take another nap of the century."

He turned to Jack and Michael already wanted to open his mouth, wanted to tell him that Jack didn't want to drive anymore. That she couldn't feel her hands anymore and it would be dangerous, but who was he kidding? If he knew that than Geoff did to, so she was their safest bet.

"I'll do it," Jack told him. Jeremy was still leaning heavily against her and she gently pulled him to his feet. He didn't even fight it when she handed him to Geoff.

"Let's get going then."

The way up the stairs felt too long. Surely there hadn't been as many steps before but Michael kicked himself not to be a bitch about it. In front of him walked Gavin who was holding so tightly to the railing that he feared it would bend. The shaking was starting now, no matter how he much he was fighting it and they weren't even halfway there before Ryan simply threw him over his shoulder and carried him the rest of the way.

Up here the banging was closer, and looking down the long hallway, Michael could nearly pretend to see the metal door shake under the hits. It wouldn't give, not with how much Ryan had twisted it but it was still unnerving.

"I can take him," Ray offered. He passed by Michael and with some hesitation Ryan guided Gavin back to his feet.

"Hey, X-Ray. You also gonna carry me on your shoulder?"

"No way, you're too fat for that," Ray told him. His smile was forced but he wrapped one of Gavin's arm around his shoulder to steady him.

Geoff was doing the same to Jeremy. They were a bit further behind and they waited for them. This wasn't good; Michael had hoped they could make a quick getaway. Just run through the guards and up to the cars but not like that. That meant he would have to hold his shields longer and he could already feel the anxiety curling in his stomach. This was on him now, he would have to bring them safely out of here and he wasn't sure if he was ready for it.

Triella was there, just waiting for his command and usually, he would trust her blindly but after everything that had happened today, he felt rubbed raw. Fuck, he didn't have the time to worry about that now because the only thing between them and the guards right now was this door, and Ryan was next to him, waiting for his signal.

"I need you all to stay as close as possible," he told them. "The smaller the shields, the stronger it is."

They huddled around him and he turned to Ryan.

"You ready?"

In case shit would hit the fan out there Ryan was their best bet. Sure, he and Ray could give support, but if they needed damage and chaos, Ryan would have to provide that now that Gavin was out of order.

"If you are," Ryan just said and put his hands on the metal door. The next bang made Michael jump, but at least they would have the element of surprise on their side.

"Let's do this."

With a nod Ryan pushed against the door and ripped it straight off of its hinges. The sun suddenly streaming in was blinding, and Michael instinctively put his hand up to block it.

There were many people staring at them, mostly men in lab coats and a few in business suits. The one who had so fruitlessly tried to open the door was now crushed by it. Another guard was sitting there, one leg stuck under the metal.

He wasn't screaming yet, the shock masking the pain, but it would come.

There was something awkward about just stepping out into the crowd while everyone stared, but that changed when the first salvo of bullets hit his shields. He had seen it coming, but it still made him jump. It broke through their shocked state, and the screaming started. Ones of horror and the ones of pain as Michael stepped over the dropped door.

He didn't listen, just walked on and made sure everyone was still close by. The bullets had packed a punch and the way was long; he could already feel the sweat on the back of his neck.

They made it a few yards before the chaos truly began. The guards were ordering the workers away and once they were out of danger, they began to fire in earnest. It was an endless amount of bullets and each felt like it was bouncing around in Michael’s head. Not causing damage but being horribly distracting.

He wanted to blend them out, to just concentrate on his shield but after today it was hard. With a sudden panic he realized that maybe he wasn't ready. Maybe he should've taken another minute, and his heart started to beat faster, his hands were beginning to shake, and he wanted to stop. To turn around, settle back in that long hallway, and gather himself.

It was all a bit too much: the noise of the guns, the blinding light of the sun, and the sudden shift of temperature. He was growing lightheaded, fuck, he actually was, and that didn't help. Nothing helped and-

Gavin screamed. A loud, enraged yell and Michael froze. He had let a bullet through, hadn't noticed a crack in the shield-

Before he could turn around to observe the damage, something exploded and the sudden increase in heat had him stumbling away from it.

He hadn't seen them before, but there had been a small parking lot full of cars. Of course, this wasn't really a workplace you could just walk to. They all went up in flames now. Gavin hadn't been hit, no, Gavin had just gathered the last of his strength.

"Jesus Christ, Gav," Ray mumbled and now had a hard time holding him. Gavin was standing through sheer will and Jack quickly reached for his other arm to put around her shoulders.

"Can't follow us now," Gavin said, and each word came out in a haze of white.

Another salvo of bullets hit the shield and Michael's heart still beat with it. Fuck, for a second he had been sure Gavin had been hurt, and by how pale Ryan looked, he hadn't been the only one.

"Go on!" Geoff urged from behind, and they pushed on.

The gunfire was constant now, earsplitting and horrifying, and by the time they reached the metal gate, Michael wished they would give up. He could barely see now, every bullet like a flash of light in his head and it was still so much further. Now it was even worse because the fire was focused behind him, in the back where Geoff and Jeremy were. He had to strengthen that part but couldn't give up on the other sides, in case there was a stray bullet. It hurt and he couldn't even see the cars from here.

A long crack went through the roof of the shield, jerking him ahead. Everybody had to notice, but nobody said a thing, they just kept on trusting him. Not that they had any other choice right now. He was all that stood between them and those guns.

Nearly blind, he reached out and snatched Ryan's sleeve. He didn't even try to explain, just hoped that Ryan would have his back like so often before, and closed his eyes. There was a hand grasping the back of his shirt to steer him and that was all he needed before letting go.

Michael stepped back and let Triella handle it, knew she would protect them as he sank into the back of his own mind.

When he came back to his senses it was to someone holding on to the back of his neck. It was Geoff, looming above him, and he could feel the other pushing Triella away, pulling Michael to the front again. It was like resurfacing after jumping into the water, the moment when he wouldn't be sure of the world he'd emerge into.

"-ith me?"

Licking his lips, Michael nodded. He was leaning against the hot outside of a car but just let himself drop into the seats when Geoff opened the door. He shuffled through until he leaned heavily against the other door and closed his eyes again.

His head was pounding in the same rhythm as his heart and even the sunlight falling through his lids was too much. Someone sat down next to him and by the way a hand quickly wrapped around his arm, he figured it was Geoff. Geoff, who wanted to keep him from falling asleep, but that was okay. He was exhausted but not tired, at least not in the bone-tired way that would surely come soon. Turning his head, he wanted to tell Geoff as much, but everything was a bit too heavy to bother.

At least until the car sped up and he was pressed into his seat. His eyes flew open, hand clawing into Geoff's leg to steady himself, and just like that he was awake again.

Jack was racing up the narrow path as if it was a highway and Michael's heart nearly stopped. Next to him Geoff looked way too calm considering the situation, and on his other side sat Jeremy.

Wait-

Michael twisted around in his seat and relaxed when he saw the other car behind them.

"It worked?" he asked and Geoff nodded.

"You did great, buddy. Put on your seatbelt now."

That was a fantastic idea and he quickly complied.

"Are they following us?"

"Nothing left to follow us after what Gavin did, but we better cover as much ground as possible."

Right. Good. He hadn't thought so far ahead and for a moment he just sank into his seat, watching the world pass by outside his window.

They were alive, truly they were! With Jeremy by their side!

That reminded Michael and he turned, wanted to say something to him, anything really, but he fell silent.

Jeremy was sitting there, leaning into Geoff, who had an arm wrapped around his shoulders to negate his demon. He didn't look out the window to watch the cliffside disappear the further they drove; he wasn't even looking at any of them.

No, Jeremy had his hands in his lap and was staring at them as if he couldn't believe what he saw. As if each finger was a miracle he had to make sure was real. A new body, without a flaw or old pain.

It sobered Michael up because he didn't know why Jeremy reacted like that, but God, he could imagine. Pandora could be oh so cruel. So he left Jeremy to his own thoughts and leaned his head back against the window.

Later. They had time for healing and talking and facing nightmares later.

Michael wanted to sleep. After what happened today, it was his damn right to at least have a refreshing nap. He was fucking exhausted, alright?

Unfortunately, every time he dared to drift up, in this wonderful state between being awake and asleep, when there were only the rhythmic noises of the car and no more thoughts- every time Geoff would shake him, and fuck, was that annoying.

Sure, he knew he shouldn't fall asleep right now. Not after how much he had used Triella, because he might not wake up again. Even worse, if he decided to pull another shield around himself he might lock the others in with him or something. He should stay awake.

Only the logical part of the brain wasn't very loud in his head when everything else in him screamed to fall asleep.

He was on the verge of drifting off again, head leaned against the window and already annoyed because he was just waiting for Geoff to shake him awake again, when he heard the phone ring. Right, they had bought those to keep in contact with each other, and he opened his heavy eyes to watch as Jack accepted the call.

"Ryan?" she asked. "Everything alright?"

"We can't get Gavin warm enough," he said right away and the urgency in his voice woke Michael a bit more. "We need to stop somewhere."

"We're not far enough away ye-"

"Geoff," Ryan interrupted him. "I know all you want to tell me right now, okay? That doesn't change the fucking fact that we have to do something about it because he's freezing right now in my backseat."

Geoff sighed but leaned ahead to look at the time on the dashboard. They had been on the road for a bit over two hours now and Michael had no idea where exactly they were. All he could see outside was the endless street before them, along with what looked like the edge of the desert. He wasn't even sure if Jack knew, because right now their objective was just to get away.

"There was a sign about a motel and a gas station in a couple miles," Jack told him. She looked tired as well and in pain, her hands grasping the steering wheel like claws. It had to hurt.

"Alright," Geoff finally gave in. "We'll rest there. Maybe Pandora won't expect us to stop this close to Los Santos or something. Just make sure not to park where they can see."

Falling back into his seat, Geoff sighed. Michael wanted to remind him that this was dangerous, this was fucking stupid, but who was he kidding? Geoff knew all of that. If Ryan said Gav needed the break than it had to be true. Usually they would just put him into a tub with water so hot that it turned their skin bright red. A sleazy motel somewhere out here in the middle of nowhere wouldn’t have something like that, but hopefully a hot shower would do.

"Will Pandora find us?" Jeremy asked, and Michael sat up to look over at him. He had expected the other to be asleep. The few times he had checked on him before, he had been curled into himself and hadn't moved.

Now he was looking up to Geoff, his face drawn but way more awake than Michael himself felt.

"Hopefully not," Geoff said. "We tried to avoid most of the highways and are now on the fastest way out of Los Santos. I hope this gives us a few hours of rest."

"That doesn't sound good," Jeremy admitted and Geoff had to also pick up on how timid he sounded because he finally let go of Michael’s arm to take Jeremy's hands in his.

"It's not ideal, but you listen to me, Jeremy. Even if they find us tonight or tomorrow or at any other time, we won't let them take you again, okay? They'll get neither of us anymore because we won't let them. _ I _ won't let them."

Jeremy hesitated a moment before he nodded and even tried himself on a smile. It made Michael smile as well because Geoff was right.

No matter what happened, they wouldn't go back. Anything was better than being trapped again, and if anyone from Pandora showed up, they would fight for their freedom. Once they had rested up, what could Pandora possibly do against their combined gifts?

"They won't hurt us anymore," he found himself saying, and Jeremy's gaze wandered to him. All of this had to be overwhelming and confusing, getting dragged around from one place to another without him getting the chance to understand what was going on. Fuck, by the way he was looking at him now, he didn't even know where Michael had come from, because as far as Jeremy knew he was still asleep, right? 

God, while trapped by Pandora Jeremy had to have surely believed nobody would come for him. Nobody even knew he was gone and looking like this - there was no sign of what had happened, not a single scratch. No, Pandora had made sure to leave their scars on him. Right now though, Jeremy nodded again, something determined in his eyes.

That was all Michael needed to know, Pandora hadn't broken him.

Jack made sure to park at the back of the motel where their car wouldn't be seen from the street and Michael was happy to get out. He was growing drowsy again and walking helped.

Ryan parked next to them but had already turned around, facing the backseat.

"We'll get the rooms," Geoff told them as he and Jack jogged towards the entrance and Michael threw a glance up to the motel. It was an ugly thing, a gray block with three stories that looked over the street and a lot of nothing. The rooms stacked close together and the sad excuse of a pool looked like a health hazard from where he was standing.

"Are we far away from Los Santos?" Jeremy asked him. He blinked against the sunshine, raising his hand to block the sun out before hesitating. Michael found him staring again at his hand, as if to make sure it was real.

He didn't like that.

"We should be," he answered instead. This was something they had to talk about, about what had happened with Jeremy before it could fester, but not right now. Not on a stinking hot parking lot when Michael had to fight to stay awake in the first place.

"The portal was already a bit away and we've been driving for a while. We got a head start."

"The portal..." Jeremy mumbled, a frown on his face as if he was trying to grasp something. "I don't remember getting there but-"

"You're just confused," Michael assured him. "It will all come back to you."

And that was the fucking wrong thing to say. Jeremy turned to him, growing pale and there was such a raw fear in his eyes that Michael didn't know how to react. Whatever had happened, Jeremy didn't want to remember it, was maybe glad that everything was so blurry and overwhelming right now. If they would all just act like everything was alright, like nothing had happened... but that was wrong. Michael could hear Jack's voice in the back of his head, telling him exactly how bad that would be, but right now? Right now it might be what Jeremy needed.

"I-" Michael began without knowing what he fucking wanted to say, but Jeremy was still staring, looking for help or any other assurance. Michael wasn't sure if he was the right person for that.

They both were interrupted when Ray ripped open the door of their car and stumbled out. His hair was plastered to his head and his shirt had dark spots where he had sweat through it. The moment he leaned against the car he was gasping like a fish and even over the distance Michael could feel the sheer heat escaping the other car before he threw the door shut.

"Fuck, I thought I would collapse," Ray said. He wiped the hair from his forehead but only managed to make it stick up in uneven spikes. "It's like a fucking sauna in there, I couldn't even breathe."

And still Michael could see Gavin shivering through the window he was wrapped up in three jackets and curled in the corner but nothing seemed to help. Ryan was squeezing into the back now and even though he didn't look any better than Ray, he pulled Gavin into his side to share some body warmth.

"Let's hope they at least have hot water."

"I have no idea how else we're gonna help him."

They fell into a grim silence but before it could fester they turned to the nearing steps. It was Jack who gesticulated to the stairs up to the second story of the motel and before Michael had fully processed that the car door swung open. Ryan picked Gavin up like he weighed nothing. From where Michael stood, he could see how much the other's head lolled, as if he wasn't even with them anymore.

Shit, usually they were quicker with getting him warm and Michael felt a tight grip around his heart. How bad could it get? Could Gavin properly freeze? Surely not, but right now he wasn't fucking sure.

So he hurried after them and by the time he had dragged himself up the stairs, Jack already held a door open.

The three of them disappeared in the adjoined bathroom, Michael just stood there, feeling useless. The room was what he expected from this place. Carpet as thin as paper and with stains that he didn't want to think about. The beds weren't much better and the sad excuse of a TV wasn't even powered but he figured that was hardly the point. 

It was someplace to rest for the moment and sure, there was no working AC, but being out of the sun was a start.

He could hear how the shower was turned on and relaxed. It was fine now, Ryan would know how to handle it.

"You should eat something," Geoff said. Michael hadn't even noticed him joining them, but now he was holding up the supplies.

They settled in the room then and even though it was a tight fit, neither of them minded. Geoff was handing out their snacks and for a long while they just sat there, enjoying the silence. After all the noise and chaos and panic from before it felt wonderful and the steady stream of the shower made him drowsy. Ray was on top of it though and when he wasn't stuffing his face with a chocolate bar, he pinched Michael's arm.

After a while Jeremy cleared his throat and they all turned towards him. He hadn't touched his food much and was now putting it aside.

"Could one of you... explain what's going on?" he asked, and Michael didn't like how shy he sounded. It didn't fit, and he threw a worried look towards Geoff. Oh, but Geoff sat next to Jeremy with all the patience in the world and that made Michael relax as well.

"You were taken by Pandora and forced through the portal." he stated.

"I mean, yeah, I know that, but what are you doing here?" Jeremy gesticulated to all of them but his hand lingered at Ray. He froze then and Michael could feel the guilt pouring from him. It was like a wave crashing over them and next to him Ray stiffened.

Jeremy's eyes were starting to turn the unnatural blue again, but before they could, Geoff placed a gentle hand on Jeremy's shoulder. Jeremy didn't even seem to notice.

"Michael found out about it and told us. So we decided to get you out of there," Geoff explained. "Unfortunately we weren't fast enough."

"Jack said you were asleep," Jeremy whispered and turned towards him now. "She said you weren't waking up."

"I was. Until two days ago."

Fuck, two days. It felt like a fucking week but all that had happened had happened in less than 48 hours.

"While I was asleep I could... dream walk, I guess? Like watch what was happening without you guys see-"

"He was basically a ghost," Ray interrupted him, and yeah, that was probably an easier explanation.

"So you saw me get taken?" Jeremy asked, and when Michael nodded, he added softly, "What else did you see?"

"I lost you afterwards to try and get back into my body. I couldn‘t find you anymore."

Jeremy relaxed visibly and Michael didn‘t like that. Pandora had done something to him and Jeremy didn‘t want him to see. Should he ask? Surely Jeremy should talk about it and not keep it to himself.

Again he threw Geoff a short glance but the other just shook his head. Not yet, it was too soon.

"When Michael told us about what was happening to you we found out where you were," Geoff went on, gently avoiding the topic. "So we went and got you out."

Jeremy threw a look towards Ray as if to ask what he was doing there. It was clear that there was still a part of the story there that he didn‘t know about, but Ray didn‘t elaborate. He probably didn‘t know how, not without making it sound like it was Jeremy‘s fault that Pandora had come after him. Ray didn‘t blame him, Michael was pretty sure about that. They had all felt first hand the guilt pouring from Jeremy and in that moment Ray had understood all that he had to.

"We were at the portal," Jeremy settled on instead. He frowned a little as if he wasn‘t sure about it. "I mean, I saw the portal but I don‘t remember getting... out? I was..." He lifted his hand before letting it fall again, confused. "I was searching for an out."

But he had never found it, because Michael had dragged him out, he had wished for it, and now he could feel both Ray‘s and Geoff‘s eyes on him. His one wish was gone but Jeremy was here because of that. They were all still here and relatively safe, that was worth it.

Right?

The door behind him opened and he and Ray quickly cleared the bed they were sitting on. Gavin was still wrapped in three jackets but flashed them all a smile as Ryan steered him to lay down.

"Still alive, guys," he croaked as if he didn‘t look like death warmed over with his hair plastered to his skull.

"Maybe not next time if you don’t think before blowing up a whole car park," Ryan scolded him. It clearly wasn‘t the first time.

"But it was a bloody sweet explosion."

"Damn right it was, Vav!" Ray came closer to high five him, and it broke the tense atmosphere at least.

The room was too crowded with all of them in there, but it would have to do for now. As they all settled some, Geoff moved to the window and Michael decided to join him.

From the window they could see the few cars parked below. More importantly though, Michael noticed the dark clouds rolling towards them.

It had been such a nice day that they looked out of place, but he had lived close to Los Santos long enough to know what kind of storm they would bring. A sudden, heavy rainfall with thunder and lightning that would stay for a couple hours before vanishing as quickly as it had started. Like a bad dream.

"You wanna wait out the storm here?" he asked quietly, and for a while Geoff didn‘t answer.

He wanted to go on, they all wanted to. Deep inside however, Michael knew they wouldn‘t get far. They were too exhausted and the only ones who could drive were Jack and Ryan. Jack may be an option, but he could see from here that she was in pain. She was leaning heavily against the door towards the bathroom, careful not to move her arms too much. He himself would fall asleep at the wheel, Jeremy was too out of it to even try, and neither Ray or Gavin could drive. Sure, Geoff could take over, but he was going to want to constantly check on both Jeremy and Michael.

"I can rest," Michael offered, and instantly Geoff tensed.

"Michael-"

"I‘m exhausted, Geoff. I will sleep eventually. You can‘t stop that," Michael pushed on. "It doesn‘t feel like I will sleep for a long time, really."

"You have no control over that."

"And we can‘t avoid it anyway."

Geoff sighed and threw a look into the room. Gavin was already asleep and Jeremy looked like he was ready to follow along if he‘d just let himself. They all needed a rest and Geoff checked on his phone for the time.

"Until after the storm. That‘s all we can spare."

Michael nodded and was ready to just crash on the next available surface. His eyes were dry and his head felt like it was floating. It was hard to grasp a real thought when he was this tired, but he shook himself.

"Gimme the car keys," he said.

"You‘re not sleeping in the car in this heat. You either share the bed with someone or the floor but I‘m not cracking open a window and ho-"

"Geoff," he interrupted him. "I want to fetch our bags, in case Pandora finds us and we can‘t get away in the cars."

"Oh... yeah, that makes more sense."

"I‘ll help you." It was Jeremy who offered. Michael hadn‘t even noticed him listening in.

"You don‘t have t-"

"I want to move around a little."

That was fine by him and so he just shrugged. They left the room and Michael kinda expected Jeremy to start talking. Sure, moving around was fine and all but he figured that this was Jeremy‘s way of some alone time to get something off of his chest. But nothing came as they walked down the stairs and Michael didn‘t know how to start the conversation.

They just awkwardly walked towards the car and when he opened the trunk, he threw the first backpack over his shoulder. He was reaching for the second when he noticed that Jeremy had moved to grasp another one, only to freeze. He had his hand outstretched and was staring at it just like Michael had seen him doing before.

"Jeremy?"

"It‘s all normal again," he mumbled, but Michael wasn‘t even sure if he was truly talking to him. "It doesn‘t hurt anymore and I can... I can just-"

He balled his hand into a fist, then opened it again. His fingers were shaking and something about that made Michael sick.

"I don‘t even know if it was really real. My hand, I mean. I think it was," he went on. "There was someone in my head."

"Your demon?" Michael asked carefully, but Jeremy shook his head.

"Before. When Pandora had me. They brought someone in and they were in my head. I could feel them there but I couldn‘t get them out. They made me see things." He frowned, moving his hand again as if to test if it was really working. "I felt things. It hurt, my hand. It hurt badly and I couldn‘t- was that real?"

Jeremy turned to stare up at him, eyes big and confused about the whole situation. As if he’d just woken up from a bad dream.

Michael‘s mouth felt dry and he just shrugged. He wished he could do more than that but he‘d never been good at this. So they just stood there, the backpacks right in front of them but neither of them taking them. Then to his great horror, Jeremy‘s whole body began to shake.

"Michael?" he asked. Jeremy shouldn‘t sound this frail. "Why did you really save me?"

"What? We told yo-"

"I broke my promise," Jeremy just went on, not even listening. "I sold out Ray. I found his number when I was with you and I gave it to them and-"

"Jeremy-"

"And I told them that you guys helped him! I told them the details, everything I kn-"

"Jeremy!" This time he called more insistently because he could feel the guilt crawl up his spine. A dangerous mix of emotion, ranging from crushing sadness to a cold hysteria that nearly choked him.

Michael reached out, grasping Jeremy‘s shoulder and turning him towards him. There were tears in Jeremy‘s eyes and the same blue color as before.

"I need you to calm down."

"Michael, I‘m so sorr-"

"I know, Jeremy. I can literally feel it."

That only confused Jeremy more, and Michael bit his lip. He didn‘t want to have to call Geoff down here, not with how vulnerable Jeremy was right now. All he could think of was to drag him towards the front of the car.

Pointing towards the mirror there, he took a step back and watched as Jeremy paled. It was always weird seeing strangers eyes on your own face, something inhumane to them. Shock came from Jeremy in pulses.

"Sanaii," Jeremy muttered as he touched the skin right beneath his eyes.

"Your demon," Michael agreed. "She makes you... emit your feelings or something? We still have to figure this out, but when you get worked up we can feel what you feel."

Jeremy fell quiet at that, but Michael could feel his influence fade. Jeremy was fighting to keep Sanaii under control and Michael let him until his eyes weren‘t glowing anymore.

"You‘re good at that. I‘ve seen many who wouldn‘t be able to control their demons like that, most of all those that are controlled by emotion."

"I can feel her, in the back of my mind," Jeremy told him and finally turned back to him. He was still pale but calmer than before. "She‘s just kinda there, watching. I don‘t know what she wants from me."

"Geoff can exorcise her if that‘s what you want," Michael offered and Jeremy just looked up at him, helpless.

"I don‘t- I don‘t know if I want that. She didn‘t do anything, did she?"

This was too much, Michael realized. All those questions would have to be answered eventually, but not right now. Not when Jeremy had to still deal with getting out of hell, not when there was a demon nestling in his head right now.

What they needed was some rest and time to work through everything.

"It‘s fine. I just wanted you to know that."

"Yeah... okay."

And finally, finally Jeremy got back to take the backpack. No hesitation now, nothing hysterical about it. Just a thoughtless motion as if on autopilot.

"You know... nobody here blames you for what happened," Michael said carefully.

It made Jeremy smile, but he didn‘t like the look of it.

"Thank you, Michael, but you can‘t speak for everyone."

"Don‘t you think this is something we already talked about before?" he asked but could already tell that it wasn‘t reaching. No, the guilt sat too deep and Michael wasn‘t sure how to get rid of it. Biting his bottom lip, they walked back up the stairs but he didn‘t want it to leave like that, didn‘t want Jeremy to silently brood over it. But fuck, his head was too heavy and every thought felt sluggish. The damn backpack on his back and the one in his hand seemed to weigh a ton and he had to remind himself not to let it drag across the ground.

He was done.

"Michael?" Jeremy asked finally and stopped at the top of the stairs. "Would it be alright to just... if I just stayed out here for a moment?"

"Are you going to run away?" It was the first thought that jumped into his mind but it just made Jeremy laugh.

"Where am I supposed to run to?"

Right, middle of nowhere and Michael still had the car keys. Jeremy wasn‘t going anywhere and why would he in the first place? Pandora was looking for him and if they stayed together they could at least protect each other. Still he had the distinct feeling the thought had crossed Jeremy‘s mind.

"I just want to think for a moment," Jeremy assured him. "It‘s hard to do when there are so many people around."

Michael hesitated a moment longer before he nodded. He couldn‘t really deny Jeremy his wish, he was a grown man and if this was what he needed, then so be it. He still had a bad feeling about it, but he was too exhausted to pursue that feeling.

"Just come in when you feel like it gets too much."

"I will."

The wind was picking up now, bringing the dark clouds closer but Michael still couldn‘t move. It felt good on his skin after the stifling heat of the day.

"I don‘t blame you for what happened," he found himself saying and Jeremy looked up to him, surprised. "You said I couldn‘t speak for everyone and fine, I‘ll give you that. But I can speak for myself. Whatever you want to brood over... just keep that in mind."

That made Jeremy smile, the first honest smile Michael had seen on him.

"Thank you."

So he left Jeremy to sit on the steps and walked towards their room. Ray had opened the window and was sitting on the seal now, his feet dangling over the floor. He must have been watching them from here because he didn‘t seem surprised to see him coming up alone.

"I‘ll keep watch while you guys rest. I can sleep later in the car," Ray told him with a nod towards the stairs. He would see it from here in case Jeremy decided to run away.

"Okay." Right now nearly everything was okay as long as he could lay down. His head was filled with cotton balls and his eyelids were too heavy to hold open much longer. The backpacks in his hand were dragging across the floor even though he had reminded himself not to let them. He stashed them in the corner behind the door, one of the last free spaces in the room.

The others had already settled across the room, and it would be funny if he wasn‘t so tired. Jack and Gavin were sharing one of the beds, already deep asleep. In the space between the beds Ryan had laid down, the ground cushioned by the blanket at least. He looked up briefly when Michael stepped in before laying back down.

Geoff had the other bed and it would be no problem to squeeze next to him. Instead Michael just stole one of the pillows and threw it on the space between the bed and the window Ray was sitting in.

"Seriously?" Geoff asked him, but Michael just shrugged.

"I don‘t want Jeremy to sleep on the ground when he comes in," he told him. "Also I will sleep wherever."

"You can have the be-"

"It‘s fine, Geoff."

Geoff sighed but let the topic drop. He was just worried and Michael appreciated it, but not now. Now he was just rubbed raw from the day.

"Don‘t fall on top of me," he told Ray, who just lifted his eyebrows.

"Would you even notice that? That would be kinda hot."

"Would be not and I don‘t want to find out, alright." He laid a hand on Ray‘s back and leaned ahead, close enough that only they could hear.

"If I fall asleep... If I dreamwalk again and you can‘t get me to wake up or can‘t even reach me-"

"Mich-"

"Just make sure to go on. If you can‘t get to me, Pandora can‘t either. Just leave me a hint or something so that I can find you."

He could feel how Ray tensed beneath his hand, but the other didn‘t protest. That was good, that was why he had chosen to tell him and not Geoff.

"Just in case."

"Just in case," Ray agreed.

Squeezing his shoulder Michael finally, finally laid down. He was well aware that Ray was sitting above, watching him now, and he was pretty sure that Geoff also reached down, a hand in his hair. Either to negate Triella or just for comfort, Michael barely paid it any mind. Sleep took him the moment his head hit the pillow.

It wasn‘t the same deep sleep he would often fall into. He was sleeping, yes, but he woke in fits, still aware of his surroundings. First when Ray above him moved, slipped out of the window and disappeared.

Checking on Jeremy probably. Ray wasn‘t a very tactile person but when push came to shove he would try his best, even if it was just sitting quietly next to someone. Sometimes that was enough.

Sure enough the next time Michael stirred it was because someone was opening the door. Cracking an eye open to check: sure enough it was Jeremy, before he disappeared from his field of vision. He fell asleep to soft voices, Jeremy and Geoff, as they talked.

The third time it was thunder above him, a deep grumble that reminded him too much of monsters and men, of things that lurked in the shadows and underneath the bed. Picturing that didn‘t help because he was sleeping right next to the bed, couldn‘t see underneath and didn‘t know what might be hiding there. Surely just dust and some unappetizing things he didn‘t want to know about. Not Mahr. Not a Nachtalb just waiting to sit on his chest and feed on him. To press him into the floor and through the shadows, somewhere far away.

Michael was too proud and scared to actually lift the cover and check. Instead he just curled around himself and made sure to keep his eyes closed. 

Monsters couldn‘t get him then.

The thunder turned his dreams sour and dark. A jumbled mess that he didn‘t want to make sense of, but he knew he saw the dark stone of the portal. Unbreakable and aeons old. There were cracks in it now. He hadn‘t checked while they had been there, had tried his hardest not to look at the portal, and still he was sure they were new.

He would have noticed the purple light breaking through them, really pale but certainly there. It would spread, he knew that as well because this was a dream. And in dreams he knew things.

"Michael?"

He felt Ray‘s hand on him, and Michael stirred. The relief washing over Ray‘s face was too overwhelming this shortly after waking up, so he looked around instead.

The room was darker than before and he could still hear the distant thunder but the storm was over. He could smell the fresh rain, and that woke him further along with the pain in his back. Alright, sleeping on the floor wasn't his best idea.

"Are we going?" he mumbled. There were movements in the room, too many people for that small space, and so he concentrated just on Ray.

"Yeah, Ryan and Geoff are getting gas. Figured you wanted to take a chance on a toilet break, not sure when we‘re stopping the next time."

"Right."

Pushing himself up, he caught Jeremy‘s eyes. The other smiled at him, something softer in it than before, and that was good. That was very good, and Michael felt something like hope in his chest.

They would be okay.

Passing by Gavin who at least looked alive again, he locked himself in the tiny bathroom. Just a toilet, a sink and a shower, but everything he needed for doing his business. It was dark in here, the small window towards the street didn‘t let much light in, but it didn't bother him.

At least until he went to wash his hands and looked up to the mirror out of reflex. The shadows behind him were crowding in on him and his heart stopped. Three of them, much taller than him with their heads reaching the top of the ceiling.

He switched the light on and they were gone.

Standing there, Michael stared into the mirror, because he had to make sure, didn‘t want them to surprise him again. Outside he could hear the others getting ready, but he couldn‘t move. The water was still running cold over his hands and he cupped it, wanted to splash it onto his face.

The shadow was also in his hands, reflecting in the water, and Michael yelped. This time it had been Mahr, he was sure of it, and his back hit the shower as he retreated, away from the sink. They were still there, he could see them scattered in the water flowing down the drain.

They would be there in the mirror as well and so he kept his head low. Somehow he knew that if he could see them, they could see him. He knew it in the same way he did in dreams, this general knowledge.

He also knew that this dream was coming to an end, knew it as if someone was leaning over his shoulder, whispering to him. Over and over, in a gleeful way as if they just couldn‘t wait for it.

Closing his eyes, he shut the water off and only dared to open them again when all the water was gone. Running his still wet hands across his face, he tried to catch his breath.

"Fuck," he whispered. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Alright. He‘d have to deal with that, he knew he could.

Someone knocked on the door before he was ready and he tore on his hair until his breath wasn‘t going as hard anymore.

"Michael?"

Jack.

With shaking fingers, he opened the door and tried to not look as fucked up as he felt. It wasn‘t really working, not by how worried she looked but they didn‘t have time for that. Behind her the room was already empty.

"We wanted to get going," she told him, and he fought the urge to turn around, to make sure the shadow was still in the mirror. That way he could pretend to leave them here, that they wouldn‘t follow him, but he knew it didn‘t work like that.

No, that was his price to pay for dreamwalking, and there was no way around it.

"Yeah," he said instead. "Let‘s get away from here."

The End

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're done! It was fun to revisit the Pandora timeline, even though I am not 100% happy with how the story turned out. But damn, I couldn't wait to introduce Sanaii - I have big plans for her!
> 
> My next project is very special and I'll start uploading it soon. Winter's Lullaby will be the FINAL of the multiverse and conclude Pollux' story. I'm super excited about what you guys will think!  
> 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr and say hi!  
> https://kahnah23.tumblr.com/


End file.
